Revenge Season Finale Recap: Long Live the Queen [UPDATED]

Revenge Season FinaleIf you have yet to watch last night’s Revenge season finale, avert your eyes now. Everyone else, please proceed…

This season’s Revenge finale should’ve had one of those warnings before it, you know, the kind they put on rollercoasters and Jacuzzis? Those with heart conditions should probably stay away? Because with so many huge developments coming so quickly in the last 15 minutes, even those of us with healthy tickers got a little sweaty and antsy. So let’s take a deep breath, pull ourselves together, and dissect the big deals that took place in “Reckoning.”

Emily and Daniel are done | After Em hid the packet of Grayson-damning information from Daniel’s briefcase, she led her fiancé (and by proxy, Conrad) to believe that the White Haired Man stole it. That caused a giant Grayson freakout, including a security sweep of Grayson Manor that unearthed Emily’s bugs in the study. Needing help with some encrypted data, Em turned to Nolan and soon learned WHM had him chained to a wall of a torture chamber… which she soon found herself chained to, as well. “Good morning, sunshine. If you came here to rescue me, you might want a do-over,” snarked her bowl-cut-sporting pal. But our girl had a plan (doesn’t she always?). She bought them time by sending WHM to find the info in a locker at the Port Authority Bus Terminal (pick me up a Cinnabon! And try to avoid the crazy guy who hangs out by the public phones!), then freed them by using a lock-pick she’d somehow secreted away in her sleeve. As Nolan hurried off to give the actual evidence, which she’d hidden in his desk, to the feds, Emily stuck around to beat the snot out of the returning (and seriously cheesed-off) WHM. Their fight — which included one of the episode’s several references to Emily’s mom — ended with her thisclose to snuffing out the snowy henchman, but a memory of her father telling her she was full of love made her draw back at the last moment. “I thought you came here to honor your father,” he sneered. “I just did,” she said. The blonde’s night got worse when she returned home to find Daniel raring for a fight, thanks to Ashley’s whispers about what she’d seen from Amanda’s porch the night before. Nursing a split lip and looking like all she wanted was a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and a warm bath, Emily resignedly admitted that she and Jack had kissed, then handed Daniel back his ring as she said they weren’t right for each other anymore. Later, we watched a very cagey Ashley offer Daniel faux sympathy about the breakup as they shared a drink.

Amanda is pregnant! | Free of Daniel and waiting for official news of Grayson Global’s demise, Emily and Nolan celebrated at his place. (Side note: “Champagne is always appropriate” is my new motto.) In a lovely, sweet scene, the friends dished about Emily’s plan to tell Jack everything. After she made plans to visit the barkeep that night, Em and Noles clinked glasses in tribute to David’s memory. It was touching and cute and gorgeously lit and all the more terrible because you just knew something horrendous was about to happen. And when Em arrived at The Stowaway, she and Jack barely had time to gaze longingly at each other before that something horrendous waddled out from back room. “Jack and I are going to have a baby,” Amanda announced, patting her protruding belly. I call shenanigans on that one right now. Even in a show that likes to play fast and loose with timelines, that belly is not a four-month belly. That belly is at least a seven-month belly. That belly can practically register for its first day of preschool. It’s totally possible that Amanda was pregnant before she first arrived in the Hamptons. But enough with the pulling fast ones on Emily, people. A little reduction in hubris every once in a while is healthy, but there’s only so much a girl can take!

The Initiative are some mean suckers | As Conrad and the WHM powwowed at Grayson Global, the latter futzed around the office, paying special attention to a clock (what is with this guy and timepieces?) and the picture containing Emily’s video link to the office. If there were any doubt that he knew someone was keeping tabs on Conrad via that frame, it was obliterated when he winked directly into the camera. Is it possible that WHM and Emily are working toward the same end? Back at her place, Little Miss Spies-a-Lot looked properly gobsmacked. As much as I love Emily, I do like it when someone gets the jump on her. It freshens things up a bit. And her nemesis, Victoria, had her share of surprises throughout the episode, as well. When SEC Agent McGowen informed Vicky that Conrad had ordered David Clarke’s death, it was clearly news to her. And when Daniel came out staunchly on Team Conrad, even in light of his part in David’s murder, it earned him a stinging slap from his mom. “I have done some heinous things in my life, but now I have a chance to right a terrible wrong,” she vowed. Then she rallied Lydia to testify against Conrad in exchange for immunity, despite the fact that she’d just agreed to marry the silver fox hours before! It might’ve had something to do with Victoria’s terrifying speech, in which she asserted, “When I’m done with him, it’ll make your taxicab bounce look like a trip to St. Tropez!” Yowza. And also, awesome. Queen Vic had one more heated exchange with Conrad — he said David’s death had been ordered by people far above him and added, “If you board that plane, it’ll be the last thing you do!” — before she and Lydia met Agent McGowen at the airport. A close re-watching shows that we saw Lydia on the stairs, but not actually on the plane. We saw Victoria enter the plane all the way, and then we saw WHM, dressed as airport staff, out near one of the jet’s rear wheels. And the next thing we knew, Charlotte — with severe blabber’s remorse after making her classmates aware of Jaime’s underage affair with a former history teacher — was watching a newscaster report on the explosion that took down her mother’s plane. Despondent, and smarting at Declan’s rebuff, Charlie downed a bunch of pills and passed out on her bed, where Conrad later found her.

Emily’s mom is still around | Leave it to Nolan to save the day. Though Emily thought everyone and everything that could exonerate her father was on the plane, her buddy had made a backup of the disk he handed over to the SEC. Yay! Warning her that Americon Initiative, which handled the original cover-up, was far bigger than they’d imagined, he screened some surveillance footage of Victoria talking about a deep David Clarke secret. “What she’s saying is that your mother’s alive,” Nolan told her, pausing the reel. Beside the tears in her eyes, Emily’s face was unreadable as she said, “Let it play.”

What do you think? Which surprise hit you the hardest? Which did you see coming from a mile away? Do you think Queen Victoria (not to mention Lydia) is really gone? And let’s get the casting buzz started early: Who should play Emily’s mother? Hit the comments and let us know!