Bachelorette Beaus Revealed: Who's Husband/ Father Fodder? Who's Fated for Bachelor Pad?

Erstwhile Bachelor “winner” and single mom Emily Maynard is testing the “fool me twice, shame on me” theory by looking for love a second time on ABC’s reality dating franchise. Yes indeed, on Monday, May 14 (9:31/8:31 c), Emily makes her debut as The Bachelorette, where 25 “gentlemen” will compete for her affections.

Check out a rogue’s gallery of these dudes below — rated soley using photo, age, and occupation — in order from most likely to put a ring on it to most likely to wind up on the show’s trashy summer spinoff Bachelor Pad. Then hit the comments with your predictions!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Leila says:

    If she doesn’t find time to date as a single mom, how come she has time to leave her daughter with someone else so she can spend weeks away doing a dating show? All those people want is fame… And money. I only watch the Bachelorette to laugh and to see the beautiful locations.

  2. Annemieken says:

    Michael, please tell me you are doing your awesome, snarky recaps again!
    I really missed them the last half of Ben’s season.

  3. verver says:

    Data destruction specialist is code for paper shredder, right?

  4. gazebo says:

    Based on what I have observed of Emily in the past, I think Sean, Charlie or Travis are the best bets. The others are too young/immature looking. She is looking for a father type. JMO.

    • tripoli says:

      If that’s what she’s looking for she should look somewhere other than a reality show that almost always fails to produce a lasting relationship.

  5. Tracy says:

    Oh, Michael! Just wait until you get more info on Arie! The race-car driver thing is the very TIP of the iceberg!

  6. Skeff says:

    Thank you for the afternoon laughs – SO funny.

  7. Leila says:

    I don’t know if it’s just because of the pictures, but many of them have wonky faces.

  8. sarah says:

    Emily is 26 so Chris is not to young for her.
    I said the same thing when I saw Lerone, so those 2 guys that are suing the show because they say it is racist have to back peddle.
    I say she chooses Jef.
    Also I think Arie will go far, yes he is a race car driver but Emily has dated another race car driver.

  9. Any Point? says:

    Arie is the obvious choice. Race car driver, right age, dreamy blue eyes. This season is over before it even began. Any point in watching?

    This show has 0 suspense. Courtney was Ben’s obvious choice from the limo meeting, same with JP and Ashley, Brad and Emily, Ali and Roberto. You can see it all over the lead’s face when the ultimate proposee steps out of the car.

    The only show worth watching is the 1st episode, watching people get out of the limos, just so you can see who the lead is eventually gonna choose. Looks like this season, even limo episode is a non-starter.

  10. kim says:

    This is one of the worst picks yet for bachelorette — she basically screwed brad over even questioning him if he can handle being a father after he made one of the stupidest choices. The ads keep saying that “we fell in love with her”, I sure didn’t and this will be a pass for me.

  11. Tiffany says:

    Oh, Slezak. Your snark is so very appreciated. PLEASE tell me you’ll be doing recaps during the season!! There’s just something missing from the Bachelor/ette experience when you don’t.

  12. Allyson says:

    I hope that jerk who was Ashley’s season isn’t going to show up for Emily. That would be horrible, but wouldn’t surprise me if the producers request his presence to stir up unnecesary drama.

  13. Danielle H says:

    Um… where are the hot guys? lol

  14. janet says:

    Is there a reason why so many young people are in real estate or finance? What awful fields to be in, especially right now when real estate is tanking and the financial industry has been completely exposed as a fraud.

    • the explanation says:

      Ummm… that’d be why those gentlemen have time on their hands to be on The Bachelorette.

  15. Chelsea Walker says:

    HILARIOUS commentary.