American Idol was so stellar this evening, I can’t even find something sarcastic to say about the fact that the proceedings kicked off with the Season 11 Top 6 passing the mic for a medley of Queen’s greatest hits. (Come on, we can all admit that group performances and medleys are two of Satan’s most effective instruments of evil.)
And, yeah, while I could certainly ridicule Randy Jackson for
existing suggesting that viewers pick up their phones and vote for everyone, there’s a part of me that understands where the Dawg (another of Satan’s most effective instruments of evil) is coming from.
Indeed, whoever goes home on Thursday night’s results-show telecast, it’s going to sting like a Catholic schoolboy’s knuckles after Sister Mary Claire catches him playing with his mittens during Holy Thursday mass. (That metaphor courtesy of me, circa 1979.)
Anyhow, I’ve got a full recap to crank out — look for it on Thursday at TVLine.com — but before I do, allow me to offer some pithy first impressions on the night’s set list:
Jessica Sanchez: “Bohemian Rhapsody” I’m not sure why J.Lo demanded more hair-ography: Girlfriend rocked harder than a quarry hit with a blast of dynamite. Also: Was the trio of black-and-white Jessica heads the best backdrop of Season 11 or what?
Skylar Laine: “The Show Must Go On” I’ll leave this one to my incredibly patient husband: “Why am I rewinding this for the third time when you’re going to be playing it on repeat all week long?” I dunno, hon. But watch me go out on a limb and declare this THE PERFORMANCE OF THE SEASON!
Joshua Ledet: “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” I’m worried my face might be stuck in permanent stank mode after hollerating, testifying, and couch-dancing my way through this legendary performance. Dude actually out-Tasia’d ‘Tasia (who sang this back in Season 3)!
Elise Testone: “I Want It All” If you’re not excited about a future Elise Testone record after this performance, then dial 9-1-1, because you officially have no pulse. (Uh-huh, I said it!)
Phillip Phillips: “Fat Bottomed Girls” Basically this was “Does Your Daddy Let You Date: Part 2.” Not the stuff of Idol legend, exactly, but a whole lot of naughty fun.
Hollie Cavanagh: “Save Me” I don’t care that she was dressed like a 40-year-old office receptionist at a holiday cocktail party, Hollie found a mood and a melody here worthy of her bell-clear voice.
Jessica Sanchez: Luther Vandross’ “Dance With My Father” No doubt she sang this well, but is there a more painful slice of pablum than this ballad (which already was sung by Jermaine Jones earlier in Season 11)? Song choice alone might put Jessica at risk of elimination for the second time in three weeks.
Skylar Laine: Jason Aldean’s “Tattoos on This Town” The vocal got a little nasal in places, I can’t lie, but when Skylar opened up on those booming closing notes, she recaptured her standard-operating magic. Plus, this kid knows how to embody every word of every song she tackles.
Joshua Ledet: India.Arie’s “Ready for Love” I worry the judges’ standing ovations will eventually do more harm than good, but this stripped-down, from-the-gut vocal had me rolling in the deep. Dude really deserves to make it to hometown visits.
Elise Testone: Jimi Hendrix’s “Bold as Love” Steven might be right that the song was too obscure to capture the speed-dialing hearts of the Idoloonie nation, but I wouldn’t disagree with J.Lo that Elise slaughtered it so thoroughly that maybe it didn’t, or at least shouldn’t, matter.
Phillip Phillips: Dave Matthews Band’s “The Stone” I completely respect that Phillip boldly went in the musical direction he’ll probably pursue post-Idol, but as someone who’s never actually been stoned (I kid you not), I have to ask: Would you have to be stoned to enjoy that unmelodic slice of jam-band ridiculata?
Hollie Cavanagh: Miley Cyrus’ “The Climb” That was like the first dandelion peeping up in your front yard after a long, cold winter: Really, really pretty, even if I’m not sure we’ll still remember it come summertime.
What did you think of Top 6 week? Sound off below, and for all my Idol news, interviews, and recaps, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV!