Dancing With the Stars Week 5 Performance Recap: Tangos in the Night

True confession: I had a hard time facing Week 5 of Dancing With the Stars without the presence of ebullient quote machine Sherri Shepherd. But there was no time for tears as the nine remaining couples prepared to Samba, Salsa and Tango the night away. That’s right, welcome to Latin Night, or as I like to call it, the episode in which William Levy shook his ample bon-bon.

But it wasn’t just the promise of shimmying booty, but also trouble, that hung heavy in the ballroom air: A trio of injury-plagued faves — Melissa Gilbert (concussion), Maria Menounos (stress fracture in her foot), and hunk du jour Levy (ankle) — were nursing wounds that had the potential to hamper their footwork and inspire the judges’ wrath. How’d it play out? Here’s everything you need to know about Week 5:

Hobbled Heroes | Within minutes of Carlos Santana’s superlative opening, we were treated to clips showing Melissa sprouting a neck brace and Maria lying face down on the floor crying “No, no, no I’m not OK!” Were we about to witness “Night of the Walking Wounded”? Not so fast! First, good sport Melissa donned a hardhat, and then Maria’s self-deprecating bubble wrap/crash helmet getup gave me a giggle. And later on, William’s Argentine Tango was sensationally injury-free (and darn near perfect)! Here’s hoping we’re done with emergency room trips and MRIs this season.

Rehearsed or Real? | Was Carrie Ann right to call out Maria and Derek’s mid-Salsa make-out session as a “sellout”? Maria certainly downplayed any blogosphere-fueled showmance rumors after last week’s “kiss”: “Everyone kept asking, ‘Did they or didn’t they [kiss]?’, so … let’s just do it.” Derek was less demure, summing up their lip-lock like this: “The music was saying ‘do you really want it? And I was like, ‘I really want it.'” My take: Romance or not, Carrie Ann’s reaction was way harsh.

Quotes of the Night | “I was committed this week. I got a spray tan with Maks.” — Jaleel White

Maks: “Whenever you’re ready, grandma.”
Melissa: “There’s no grandma in here.”

“Dance is about the illusion of passion: Don’t go at it right there in front of us. Save it for back there!” –Carrie Ann, responding to Maria and Derek’s mid-Salsa kiss

“That wiggle! Have you got a Mini-Me inside there operating? It was unstoppable!” –Bruno, critiquing Jaleel’s energetic Samba

“Was it legal? Want me to get you a room? Can I join in?” –A breathless Bruno, excited about Maria and Derek’s Salsa.

“It was more of a shamba than a Samba.” –Len to Gavin

Judges’ Leaderboard (Carrie Ann, Len, Bruno: Total)
William Levy and Cheryl Burke: 10, 9, 10: 29
Katherine Jenkins and Mark Ballas: 10, 9, 10: 29
Donald Driver and Peta Murgatroyd: 10, 8, 9: 27
Maria Menounos and Derek Hough: 9, 9, 9: 27
Roshon Fegan and Chelsie Hightower: 9, 8, 9: 26
Jaleel White and Kym Johnson: 8, 8, 8: 24
Gladys Knight and Tristan MacManus: 7, 7, 8: 22
Melissa Gilbert and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: 7, 7, 7: 21
Gavin DeGraw and Karina Smirnoff: 6, 6, 7: 19

Now it’s your turn. Did William and Katherine’s dueling Argentine tangos really warrant those near-perfect scores? Were you relieved that Brooke dumped last week’s monstrous weave and enjoyed a drama-free hair night? Does Katherine really have the best legs in the history of DWTS (as Carrie Ann said)? Leave your comments below! —Mitch Rustad 

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. annehedonia says:

    Best legs: Nicole Scherzinger. Best celeb dancer: ditto. But I thought both the Argentine tangos you mentioned were worthy of the near-perfect scores tonight.

  2. Norma says:

    They both were great, but I think Levy’s was a tad more vavoom!!!!!!

    • Kim R says:

      William is just so lovely to watch! :) My favorite of the night was Katherine & Mark. The choreography was stellar. Mark really is the most talented when it comes to that. I know he’s not a favorite but I was really amazed by their dance last night. Jaleel is my least favorite mostly due to personality which I realize has nothing to do with his dancing. :) I really like Derek & Maria as well. Melissa seems like she’s trying to keep up most of the time but she is giving it her all for sure. Totally enjoying this season but so sorry Sherri is not there now. :(

      • Kim R says:

        I just wanted to add that I think Carrie Ann missed the whole point of the kiss. Duh. :)

        • Maureen Currie says:

          Carrie Ann missed the importance becasue Maria can’t dance and Derrick will do anything for scores. The two of them sicken me. She has no rhythm and very few actual dance moves. All they do is tangle up and PDA. It is getting ridiculous. The judges give her good scores. she is such an attention junkie. What do you think her injury will be next week?

  3. Mark says:

    I really contemplated not watching cause my girl Sherri isn’t in it and she’s the whole reason I tuned in this season. Ultimately though, I did watch cause Monday night is an awful night for TV and there was absolutely nothing else on that I wanted to watch besides Smash. That being said, my second fav Roshon did well. Gladys was solid enough. She’s enjoyable. Here’s hoping Gavin goes though. He’s a pretty big dud on and off the dance floor. Either him or Melissa Gilbert (who I really don’t like off the dance floor) I hope goes.

    • dude says:

      You could have watched Gossip Girl…yeah, you’re right.

    • Alex says:

      Ahhh… Monday night is packed for me, 2 shows @ every hour.
      8: Bones, Dancing with the Stars
      9: Eureka, Dancing with the Stars
      10: Castle, Smash

      Plenty to go on!

    • w. says:

      How is Gavin a ‘dud’ off the dance floor? – He seems so sweet and – I think – funny. I will miss him as I think his days (hours?) are numbered.

  4. Angela says:

    I thought Donald and Peta should’ve been given at least a couple points more on their dance, if not a perfect 30-their dance was INCREDIBLE, in my opinion. Tight and controlled and convincing attitudes against the music-it was fantastic. William’s was great and quite sexy, too-I think someone needs to stand by Bruno’s end of the judges table with a bucket of cold water, the way that guy reacts to him every time :D. Overall looking at that top 5 I’m pretty happy with it-all those people definitely deserve to be there and performed fabulously tonight. I’m glad those who had injuries were able to take care of them properly and they weren’t “have to sit/drop out” serious, and wish them all speedy recoveries.
    The intimacy between Derek and Maria didn’t bother me one way or another. I just know my sister will LOVE seeing Derek in that dance. My guess is it may well be Gladys (or Melissa) and Gavin facing off in the dance-off tomorrow night, with Gavin likely going-he was definitely the weakest of everyone.

  5. llws says:

    Donald and Roshon….LOVE THEM

  6. tom says:

    i agree with you, sherri is sorely missed, she brought energy to the dances and to the whole night because you felt like she really was living a dream by being there instead we get a poor dancer with a very popular partner, a once good dancer who is verbally abusive to his partner and one or two excellent dances, but no fun.

  7. Isabelle says:

    I gotta comment about william of course, I’m so happy with his tango it was sexy and all the tricks went off perfect. I would love for melissa to go home, I think its been past her time. And as for donald he was ok but peeta really killed it our eyes were stuck on her and that mightve been why not a higher score.

  8. Isabelle says:

    One more thing yes it latin week but we didn’t get to see william shake it sadly but nonetheless he was dripping with sexiness.

  9. adam says:

    best legs what about Stacy Keibler.

  10. CJ says:

    My favorite parts of the show are increasingly the rehearsal footage–you get to see Maksim and Tristan and Derek in t-shirts and loose pants. After the sequined costumes it almost feels like you’re seeing them naked.

  11. nancytodd says:

    No mention of Kym removing Jaleel’s hand from her rear at the end. He is creepy, IMO

  12. robinepowell says:

    I’m happy Gladys and Tristan aren’t in tonight’s dance off, so far. Next week being Motown, she’s better be voted back for this. It would be a shame if Gladys wasn’t a part of Motown’s reunion, since she’s a part of Motown. ;)

    Did everyone vote for Gladys and Tristan last night?

  13. luke says:

    I know she’s not technically a contestant, but Peta has the best legs of all seasons! She is a beast! – I have to watch their numbers twice in order to watch Donald because all I can see is Peta’s magnificence

  14. Amanda says:

    Really? People like Derek’s showboating of ripping off his shirt and kissing his partner? It was all a ploy to a) distract from Maria’s mediocre dancing b) show himself off. The dances should be about showing MARIA off – not himself. Can’t stand him…sorry.

  15. margo says:

    Every year there are favorites. This year it is Maria. She has one talent and it is “getting attention with her sex appeal.” She cannot dance. She has done very few dance steps in 5 weeks. She has no rhythm. Melissa and Jalell have done very complicated dances (especially Melissa) and get lower scores. Just because Maria shakes and kisses, the judges give her good scores. UGH

    • livey says:

      That is an ignorant statement! She can’t dance? Who are you watching? Everyone on this show this season definitely can dance! Even Gavin has musicality. On previous season’s he would have been one of the better dancers. Remember Buzz, Cloris, Florence, The Situation, just to name a few? There were some that even made it to the semi finals, remember the cowboy? So to imply that Maria can’t dance or even Gavin is ridiculous. You just don’t like her personality. Derek is the best pro male dancer, in my opinion. Maria is injured and so he has to be careful with the choreography but he’s had the most wins over the seasons. He generally doesn’t over dance with his partner like Mark ‘always’ does so you end up watching Mark and he ends up making his partner look worse than they are. This season Mark has a partner that can actually keep up so it isn’t as obvious…again, my opinion. Hating on someone because you don’t like their bubbly personality though, is sad.

      • margo says:

        I only wish that I could actually see Derrick do some real dancing this season like he always does, instead of keeping his partner in hold and exploiting the “sex”. He is so amazing to watch and he is not doing anything like he usually does. I belileve that it is because maria lacks the talent and not because she is injured. She is not as bad as the worst by any means. She can shake and she is flexible. but her scores are often “9”s I do not think that she deserves them. And, yes, on a personal basis, I don’t like her personality. I think Derrick is selling out becasue he is one of the most talented dancers and choregraphers of all time.

  16. Britta Unfiltered says:

    As far as legs go, I thought the beautiful Jennifer Grey had great legs for her age…or for anyone’s age. I did like Mark and Katherine’s dance a lot, but mostly I was just completely in love with her pretty pink costume. I want it!

  17. MK says:

    Mark and Katherine were the best. The story line was awesome, Mark was teriffic and Katherine…the best dancer this season.

  18. kc says:

    I just have to say Jaleel is a perv. Hands off Kym’s bum please. It was Latin dance night ot let me grab your butt night.