If you weren’t already convinced that Colton was one of the most reprehensible characters in the history of reality television, then the first half of this week’s Survivor: One World had to have finished the job of swaying you, right?
Coming off a Tribal Council where he and Alicia booted Monica, and blindsided Christina in the process, Colton just had to rub jalapeño in the wound: “You’d be lucky to make an alliance with a hermit crab,” he hissed, before calling his rival a “cockroach,” laughing in her face, and giddily encouraging Alicia to threaten bodily harm to Christina when the latter woman tried to force her way onto the Manono “mattress.” Later, he screeched at Christina for not running fast enough during the reward challenge — despite his own lackluster performance in the contest — and then dropped this bombshell: Telling the camera, and then later reiterating to Christina, that she could leave voluntarily, get voted out, or throw herself into the campfire and get Medevaced off the island — “whichever is more convenient for you.”
Shortly thereafter, Colton developed a brutal headache and severe stomach cramps, then collapsed in a heap in the woods. Cue Survivor medical team for the diagnosis for which we’d all been waiting/hoping: Appendicitis! “I don’t wanna leave,” cried Colton, clutching his side and writhing in pain. But nope: Getting Medevaced to hospital for surgery meant an immediate ouster from the game he’d ruled with the charm and dignity of a deer tick. Was it a higher power, smiting Colton and sparing us from having to endure his smug face on our TV screens for the next several weeks? As Jonas noted: “Colton got some karma right back at him.” Before we get to the poll, a few other notes:
* With Colton’s exit, it’s back to six men, six women, and one merged and scrambling tribe. Next week should be fantastic, especially since there are so many conflicting loyalties and alliances left in the game.
* Nasty to the end, Colton refused to give Alicia his individual immunity idol, instead taking it home as “a souvenir.” Not that she really deserved a karmic break, mind you.
* Is Kat playing dumb so folks will consider her a good bet to take to the final three, or was she being serious when she worried aloud about how to avoid injuring her own appendix?
* Just as alarming: Tarzan’s litany of crackpot medical diagnoses for Colton. I hope I never again hear anyone on Survivor uttering the phrase “Gas in the secum!”
What do you think? Did a higher power intervene by taking Colton out of the game? Or was it just dumb chance? Take our poll below, then hit the comments with your thoughts!