Lindsay Lohan Hosts SNL: Best and Worst Skits?

lindsay lohan snlAs someone who very much enjoyed Lindsay Lohan’s work in Mean Girls and Freaky Friday, I was genuinely hoping she’d score some big laughs as host of this week’s Saturday Night Live. Unfortunately for the troubled actress, however, there’s only so much one can do with setups built around prison-rape jokes or the sight of Fred Armisen in drag getting repeatedly hit by a car.

It was a harbinger of bad things to come when the opening monologue focused almost entirely on various SNL cast members “surreptitiously” scoping out Lohan for signs of her notorious erratic behavior — a segment so red-dog lazy it didn’t include a single fresh twist on her public persona and myriad legal and professional problems.

And what’s more, the tepid punch lines and underdeveloped sketches whipped up on this week’s show make it inconclusive in determining whether or not Lohan still has the power to entertain.

With that said, here are my picks for the week’s best and worst skteches.

Best: James Carville on Weekend Update
Bill Hader gets episode MVP for a night that included this scathingly funny, and wonderfully absurdist, take on the Democratic political adviser. (His Shepard Smith impersonation was fantastic, too.) I laughed from the beginning (Carville’s childhood game of The Patchelor featuring a bunch of kids hoping to marry a gussied-up watermelon) to that amazingly insane tale of luring Newt Gingrich into an affair with a personal ad (“I love it when a guy is just a big blob of gray”), dressing up as a woman, taking him for a Paddleboat ride, and then shocking him with a reveal of his “Harry Connick Jr.” (which looks exactly like Carville’s face — without glasses).

Best: B108 FM Morning Show
Taran Killem and Bobby Moynihan’s exhausted-to-the-point-of-collapse DJs were hilarious with their stupid hip-hop wannabe shout-outs — “It’s dark as hell! — but they got great support from Lohan as their sidekick Illiterate Lisa, and Vanessa Bayer as news reader “MC Jiggle Butt.” This sketch also scored Lohan her best line of the night,  responding to a list of local school closings: “Those Eagle Creek bitches are lazy!”

Worst: Bicycle Thieves Scared Straight
Kenan “One Expression” Thompson and Lohan headlined this sketch, in which they played “Scared Straight” counselors named Lorenzo MacIntosh and “Lindsay Lohan,” respectively. Need I say any more about the stupefying awfulness of a sketch that featured not just one but two renditions of of the Kay jewelers’ them, reimagined as “every kiss begins with rape”? To quote Jason Sudeikis’ sheriff character, “I should’ve stopped you after ‘discharge,’ but I zoned out for a second.”

Worst: Delinquent Girl Teen Gang
Is there anything worse on SNL than a sketch that clings to a single punchline or sight gag — one that happens not to be remotely amusing — and plays it over and over and over, without any kind of variation or escalation? That was the case with this late-night movie parody, where Lohan and Armisen-in-drag played the leaders of a group of tough girls who rebelled by dancing in the streets — at least until Armisen’s “Babette” got struck down by a vehicle again and again and again. If the writers wanted to get Lohan into hot pants, surely there were funnier methods than this.

What did you think of this week’s SNL? How would you rate Lohan as host? Sound off in the comments!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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88 Comments
  1. Gale says:

    Lohan was a talented actress once upon a time, but she was painful to watch last night. Who knows how many plastic surgeons have exploited her maladjusted self-identity. The cheek implants and botoxed lips are hideous and have rendered her face immovable when she talks. Her stage presence was awkward and lacked confidence. I wonder who at SNL thought it would be a good idea to have her be a host.

  2. brett says:

    Interesting that so many (almost every post) are calling “The Housewives Of Disney” the best skit of the evening, yet it’s not even mentioned in the article. What’s up with that, TVline? Are you THAT off base that you don’t recognize the best skit of the evening, or is it that you’re scared to even mention it… or that you REALLY thought it was bad?

    Very interesting.

  3. fribster says:

    Did Slezak not even see the Disney Housewives skit? It was one of the best things they’ve done all season. And nothing else was even remotely good. I have no idea why he’d put the radio show as one of the best. Usually I think he’s dead-on with these assessments.

    • me says:

      +1

      How could the only great skit of the night and very nearly basically the only skit of the night not get mention?

  4. luke says:

    Michael! How did you not choose Housewives of Disney as the best sketch? I don’t usually find much funny on SNL but that was one I could go see over and over. The rap version of “Be My Guest” – the tiny hat on her dish – Prince Charming. That and the Beyonce sketch recently are the only things I’ve found funny lately.

  5. Velvet says:

    Dan Hader & Keenan Thompson are always hilarious.

  6. Velvet says:

    You can’t blame Lindsay for SNL’s weekly hit & miss writing.

  7. Sophie says:

    Taran Killam is only getting better and better with every episode! He was great in the Disney skit!

  8. Jo says:

    I didn’t find any of it really funny with the exception of the Delinquent Girls Teen Gang. I know it didn’t get a good review here, but for some reason it had me laughing so hard I had tears running down my face. Three times I watched it – and still the tears. Laughing right now just thinking about it.

    ‘I feel so defined!’ – classic, should become a meme.

  9. florence says:

    Best: Jack White… and that was it.

  10. me says:

    The Real Housewives of Disney was very good, everything else was pretty much terrible, just terrible man, TERRIBLE!

    She didn’t have much of a memorable night but almost every skit was just awful so with her coming back, being nervous I’m sure, and then getting some of the worst material of the year probably didn’t leave her with too much of a chance to make a huge mark.

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