Survivor: One World: Do the Women of Salani Stand a Chance? Take Our Poll!

survivor one world salani“I’m sad. I’m sad for women. This isn’t the way women are. Frankly, I’m so embarrassed.” Those were the demoralized words of Monica, as the all-female Salani tribe suffered another embarassing loss to the men’s team on Wednesday’s edition of Survivor: One World.

Oh, Monica, you’re not alone, sister. Watching the Salani ladies fail miserably atthis week’s challenge task — moving left to right over a narrow beam already occupied by their fellow tribemates, without touching more than one tribemate at a time and without falling into the water — was a perfect blend of the comedy and horror genres. (Think a Two Broke Girls crossover with The River.) The only thing more ridiculous than ditzy “college student” Kat repeatedly jumping into the water — for no apparent reason — and delaying her team in the process, was her pitiful response when Nina asked at Tribal Council what valuable life experience she brought to the game. “I mean, I’m outdoorsy, and I do sales, and I work with people all the time, and um…” Yeah, exactly. Also amazing? Jeff Probst’s incredulous comment to Kat: “You’ve never failed at anything in life?”

So while, yes, I understood Kim’s reasoning when she told Chelsea they should stick with their original five-member alliance — “we need these girls to trust us!” — what good, really, are loyal comrades when you’re going to end up getting demolished by the opposing tribe? And really, would it have been that hard for Chelsea and Kim to convince Alicia and Sabrina to dump Kat in favor of Monica? Sabrina and Chelsea admitted openly at Tribal that if they’d had the chance to start over, they’d have structured their alliance differently.

Two other thoughts before we get to this week’s poll:

* Why, for the love of all that’s holy, did I have to witness Tarzan dancing with a spear and wearing bikini briefs? It might be time for Survivor to institute a policy forcing male contestants to wear something — shorts, pants, a sarong even! — over their skivvies.

* Colton couldn’t be more annoying if he revealed a “Cousin Hantz” tattoo on his left butt cheek, but I will admit I got a little psyched watching him “associate with these misfits” and plot against the musclebound Manono dudes. Because as awful as Colton is, no one is worse than Matt and Michael.

What did you think of this week’s Survivor? Are the women already doomed? Take our poll!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Ben says:

    Nah, they are not doomed. Because twists based on things like gender, age, race etc always result in an early tribe switch, at which point the entire game gets switched up anyway.

  2. evan says:

    I’m so annoyed with survivor casting in choosing their “gay” player — his actions, his demeanor just set back people’s image of what a gay man is by 50 years. Its frustrating because colton does nothing, complains that it’s the end of the world to be with his own tribe??? Plus, from the preview, he says he’s a republican and doesn’t believe in hand outs — oh yeah, what’s that idol that you got in your pocket — you got it handed to you.

    • JohnDoe says:

      I agree, some of the stereotypical casting decisions are ridiculous. The dumb blondes, the jocks, the tough women, the old guys, it just gets a little old.

    • D says:

      Actually, that IS stereotypical for a Republican. Take the handout, just don’t admit to it.

    • Zayne says:

      Colton is the worst. I’m sorry but Matt and Michael I think have been cast in bad light because of their interactions with Colton. Colton has been rude and standoffish from the word go. I thought Matt was being very sincere in the first episode when he suggested Colton be a spy and make himself really valuable to the Men’s tribe. Instead, Colton just griped about being talked down to.
      I agree that their choice for a gay player was terrible and he makes us all look bad.
      This week when they won the DIY challenge, everyone was celebrating and Colton was standing in the middle with his arms crossed. I really hope he gets voted out with an idol in his pocket. That would be great.

      • B says:

        I find Colton loathsome as well. Not because he’s gay and very effeminate, but because he is actually being the closed-minded one here. As type-A-perfect-looks-and-high-dollar-jobs as Matt & Michael are, they actually appear (to my eyes) to be more offended that Colton is so unwilling to accept them and the other men, than they are by his over-the-top gayness. It’s sad, really, that Colton is unwilling to find any sort of common ground and just whine that he wants to be one of the girls.
        Granted, we don’t see what happens all the time, we haven’t seen the (likely) gay jokes that you know some of them men – and I bet the women, too – have made behind his back. But he has a major attitude problem, and I find it ironic how seemingly heterophobic he is, to the point where he mopes and pouts and wants to be a girl so bad.
        Colton, kid…if you want society to accept you for who YOU are, you need to accept others just as they are, as well.

      • Petr says:

        Hear, hear!!
        Colton is such a embarrassment for us (well for everyone, really), for once I wish, that they would cast someone normal and pleasant. How about Mr. Slezak, now that would be fun!

  3. JohnDoe says:

    Well, if they continue to kick off the intelligent, tough women, then yes, they will have a difficult time, considering they can’t even seem to start a fire by themselves.

  4. topsyturvy says:

    I’m still confused about the whole ONE WORLD thing. I thought the tribes would be living together in the same camp. In reality they are in separate camps on the same beach. Except for the fact that they are closer to each other, it’s the same as it ever was. It would be much more interesting if they, in fact, were in the same camp.
    Oh, yes, Colton is a nightmare. Why would he want to be around those annoying women. I know of no gay man who would choose them over the men.

    • D says:

      Um, yeah, the guys don’t seem like such prizes either. Colton is clearly more comfortable around the women, as horrid as they seem (or have been edited to appear).

  5. Christina says:

    The women have been a hot mess. If it doesn’t turn around by the next episode they’ll have to do a tribe switch or we will be stuck with nothing but dudes. Plus the women need to win so the guys can get rid of Tarzan so we don’t have to see him in his underwear.

  6. Tahoe Mike says:

    Colton is seriously annoying. I don’t think however, that he is the only “gay” person on the show. Alicia is one serious man hater and reminds me of Amy from seasons past, without the brains and skills.
    Unless something changes soon, I do think that this bunch of women are doomed. The preview of next week shows the women begging for an ember when they already have a fire starting tool. The magnesium shavings from those burn at over 5000 degrees(F) and will work just fine with even damp (not wet) tinder. As far as I know the guys don’t have a flint yet and have kept their original fire going. Those flints sell for about $8.50 at any Walmart or outdoors store, and I keep one on my keyring. It took me about an hour to start a fire with one the first time, now I can do it in just a few minutes. Why would you even send in an application to be on this show without knowing how to start a fire with one of those???

  7. trish says:

    why dont you have a SURVIVOR 50 PLUS?….all the young ones will just vote them off…

  8. Johnny says:

    I couldn’t stand anyone after Episode 1. Even though they kept Kat, who seems like a moron, I really like Chelsea and Kim. If I were them, I would have kept Kat too because that alliance needs to be solid if it is going to last, although as a viewer it is disappointing to see someone like Kat stay over a potentially great player like Nina. So for the women, I am liking Chelsea and Kim, and Christina (though less after this episode). Can’t stand Alicia, but we do need a villain. For the guys, can’t stand Colton. Only like Jay and maybe Bill so far… we haven’t seen enough of the guys to really judge though.

  9. Jen J says:

    This is certainly not the first time that a tribe has struggled to find it’s footing at the beginning, so it’s too early to doom the women to failure. The worm will turn and it will be fun to see how the men’s pecking order will play out.

  10. D says:

    I guess I am in the minority here, but I am finding Colton entertaining and potentially interesting as a wild card type of player. Also, he lacks that annoying overly self-conscious quality that Cochrane had last season.

  11. vic says:

    I also would like to watch an episode without having to see the men or the women in their underwear. Lets get back to the original idea of the show and away from the skin show.

  12. Leona says:

    What does it say for “men” who let a sissified wannabe a girl jerk lead them? Sissy boy, you DO NOT represent any gay I’ve ever known. In fact you represent all that is nasty in the world, and no decent human can possibly see anything but the putridness of your soul. This game you wont win. Go home to your nasty world. Rest of you players, bill and leif don’t deserve Tarzan’s warped sense of right and of loyalty. Both are REAL people, you all mere facsimiles. Girls, SLAUGHTER those jerks!