Survivor: One World Season Premiere: Who's More Annoying -- the Men or the Women?

survivor one worldGood news and bad news about Survivor: One World. The reality granddaddy’s latest season — which pits a team of nine women (Salani) against nine men (Manono), and has ‘em all camping on the same beach — is filled with toned, arrogant himbos and admittedly ridiculous, non-strategic women. Which means there will probably be scads of intrigue as the season progresses, but possibly no one worth rooting for.

The awfulness kicked off in the game’s opening seconds: Probst gave the contestants 60 seconds to strip supplies off of a truck, and Michael (of the GI Joe Doll torso and meticulously groomed brows) stole liberally and unapologetically from the women’s pile. I realize the ladies probably should’ve stood guard over their loot, but when did it become okay — or even allowed — to get one’s thief on? I mean, would it be okay for the women to, say, steal back their axe in Episode 2 and then use it to destroy the men’s shelter?

Amazingly enough, though, it was the guys — and in particular Matt (of the Ken Doll torso and obnoxious attitude) — who got indignant when the women broke a handshake agreement to work together to catch a pair of chickens. Chelsea (one of the few people I like thus far) snagged both birds, and I can’t say that I blame her for going back on her word — especially when the men hadn’t even extended an olive branch, or a stolen supply or two, to smooth things over. “Give us that chicken as an apology,” insisted Matt, as the flustered Salani tribe ran around like, well, chickens with their heads cut off. (Clearly, the women need to study Jack Donaghy’s theories of negotiation.)

Soon after, the women were individually offering goods (the aforementioned bird), services (frond-weaving), and “services” (pole dancing) to try to get help with their shelter and their fire. So much for girl power (something for which Kim never really cared anyway). And so much for presenting Salani as a tough, competitive force in the competition.

The immunity challenge, alas, was over before it had a chance to get exciting, with Kourtney breaking her wrist in the opening leg after failing to heed Probst’s warning to put her hands at her sides and land on her back while taking a 25-foot drop into a net. The men chose to take the victory rather than play it out from the point Kourtney collapsed, and the women seemed shocked by the fact that a giant cash prize took precedence over chivalry. “This is a no mercy game,” noted Chelsea, while Kim lamented that none of the Manono members were behaving like them thar men in the Westerns she grew up a-watchin’.

With Kourtney’s automatic elimination rendering Tribal Council a toothless exercise in Alicia-Vs.-Christina griping, the only intrigue of the episode came when Sabrina found the Manono hidden immunity idol, bequeathed it to (on-the-)out(s) gay Colton, and plotted with him to pull a coup on Matt (who’d lined up fellow brothers in masculinity Mike, Bill, and Jay, and declared himself and Matt “sittin’ pretty”). Ugh. “We’re gonna cut his throat faster than Taylor Swift will write a song about her next boyfriend,” said Colton, who’s a little annoying but definitely gives good sound bite. I’ll applaud when/if the blood is finally spilled.

Oh, and final word: Probst hanging out the side of a moving helicopter is totally badass — no matter how many unseen safety precautions it took to set up that shot.

What did you think of the Survivor: One World premiere? And which tribe did you find more annoying as a whole? Take our poll below, then hit the comments to expand on your thoughts!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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29 Comments
  1. rjcarr says:

    I know we haven’t gotten to know all of the contestants yet, but wow, I think I’m going to have a hard time finding somebody I like. And I’m glad I’m old and married … girls these days, especially the pretty ones, are crazy. Just watch the bachelor for further proof (or so I’ve heard).
    I don’t see this “girls vs boys” working out so well.

  2. Ari says:

    Had 3 thoughts in this episode:
    1.) Isn’t Manano the name Monica used on Friends when she made friends with the woman who stole her identity?
    2.) Why is Matt doing his interviews with his crotch in the forefront and is this what the rest of the season is going to bring?
    3.) Kourtney is the dumbest Survivor ever for her failure to follow simple instructions. Fall onto your back arms crossed over your chest. Me thinks she shouldn’t be allowed on water slides from now on as you are supposed to use the same position.

  3. The WB Frog says:

    The ladies can b!tch all they want, if the tables were turned they wouldn’t have given fire, chicken or the price of tea to the men. This is Survivor. Quit complainin’ and play the game!

  4. Michael says:

    Don’t think that CBS purposely hired people with HUGE personalities and hired frankly the world’s view of what the stereotypical “American Guy, Girl”. Buff guys, pretty girls… It seems like that to the extreme this year.

  5. Amanda says:

    The men are mostly jerks… the women are mostly worthless. Very disappointing season so far… I can’t find anyone to really root for although the girl who caught the chickens seems like she could stick it out!
    I can’t believe they gave in to bartering for fire so fast. Ridiculous. They barely looked like they even tried… and they should have known they would at least get it after tribal council. (and they would have otherwise won it in the challenge!)

  6. Isabella says:

    While I realize this is supposed to be reality TV, I sincerely hope this is not reality. The way these women are conducting themselves is embarrassing. What happened to strong independent women? One would think women adventurous enough to go on Survivor would have the where with all to learn how to make fire prior to arriving on the island. Offering to be subservient to the men in exchange for anything is repugnant, especially without appearing to make much of an effort to acquire whatever it is yourself. What’s next? Sexual favors for a fish instead of fishing?
    I sincerely hope the in-fighting, flakiness and incompetence of these women is temporary or just editing. Otherwise, this show will succeed establishing that women indeed should never accomplish anything but being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

  7. Laurel says:

    Worst group of survivors EVER !

  8. Jaime says:

    Both.
    Not watching this season.
    Ever again.

  9. Joseph says:

    Nice looking cast , BUT , not sure how I like the twist this season.
    For me it was easier to listen to a few cocky guys then the whining and cat fights going on with the women.
    It was only episode ONE , so more to be revealed as this game with few rules is played out.

  10. Natalie says:

    Can they pick any girls that are more stupid than the ones on this season? I think not. Kourtney is the stupidest of all. You missed out on a lot of money cause you can’t follow simple directions… -_-

  11. Tommy says:

    You’re right- pretty annoying cast overall.
    Based on pre-show interviews, I really liked Kourtney. So yeah . . . about that . . .
    After Episode 1, I’m liking Chelsea, Christina, Kim, and Sabrina for the women, and Bill, Jay, and Michael for the guys.
    I really want Alicia to go home. Sure, she’ll probably bring the drama and keep thinks spicy, but I cannot stand her at all. Same goes for Matt (cocky much?) and Colton (being obnoxious and turning on your tribe by Day 3[!!!] don’t usually make a Survivor winner).

  12. raftrap says:

    To answer the question both are incredibly annoying, that being said, I’m loving everything this season, no redemption, designated immunity, and the fact that they are making separate camps even though they are next to each other, just great, it’s gonna be a fun season.

  13. Sara says:

    Both teams are f***ing awful. NOT happy with this season so far. If it stays like this, I will not be watching. Only person I like is the gay guy, Colton, I think his name is? Chelsea is decent, she hasn’t made me want to punch anything yet. I liked Christina; she seems to be one of the more intelligent women who realizes yeah the guys are jerks but you aren’t gonna get THAT far if you make it an all-out war. The girl Colton aligned himself with is alright too.
    Alicia is annoying and rude. Matt and Mike are just awful awful people. Tarzan and Troyzan disgust me, especially Troyzan.

  14. jm says:

    Will you all STOP BEING SO BAISED! SURVIVOR WILL GET BETTER OVERTIME.

  15. bill says:

    Funny/ironic/sad/interesting that the one who decides to steal from the other team is a banker. Yes, it is Survivor but that kind of move shows you’re not willing to work for your keep – you’re lazy, more of a sloth than a survivor, no matter how good your equinox gym-formed abs look. And if he ends up winning the million? He’s really more thief than survivor.
    Actually, the whole stealing scenario was a great reality mirror – for that’s what essentially happens in, not all, but large parts of the deregulated finance sector – have other people work and toil and build/create things, and then go in and raid and grab unearned shares of the value they created. And it all happened just like in real life … by a finance guy, on clear day with the workers’ backs turned as they sweated away.

  16. cmac says:

    to be fair. im not sure anyone followed the instructions. she was the only one who was unlucky enough to get hurt. unfortunately she seemed to be the only person without the cocky arrogance that Gete super annoying really fast

  17. lv says:

    I’m surprised that Slezak is shocked by the stealing that Mike did in the first 60 seconds. Rupert did the same back in his season, and he was America’s Favorite. Plus, Probst warned the girls!!
    The guys taking the immunity win – not too shocking. Did the girls really think they’d play it out?? C’mon – it’s a guarantee win and number advantage. Similar how you can take a knee in football when you have the win wrapped up.
    Alice is crazy – offering up pole dances. Which is a lot worse than the offer the other girl made. Matt is a little bit of a db. Chelsea seems cool, but did go back on her word about the chickens.
    A Kourtney is an idiot not for breaking her wrist, but for singling herself out as an outsider in the first 5 min of the game.
    Only person who looked good in this episode is Probst. Cool shot of hanging off the helicopter.

    • critter42 says:

      Exactly!
      When Mike said “but when did it become okay — or even allowed — to get one’s thief on” – I immediately said (to myself) “uh, since Pearl Islands! der” :)

    • D says:

      I had the same thought about Rupert. The only thing they can NOT steal is the immunity idols, and hidden immunity idols. Everything else is fair game. Stealing and burning socks, etc.
      About Chelsea, why should she have to keep her word with common thieves anyway?

  18. prince says:

    Matt gets away with stealing that tool from the girls. That Troyzan is a piece of art. He thinks he is all. those guys are so pathetic. I am rooting for Colton as the guys are targeting to voted him out right away. With the immunity, I hope Colton will freaking kick all their grasses out and won the million dollar.

  19. JA says:

    To be honest, although the cast is dire compared to the likes of Amazon and Pearl Islands, they are alot more vibrant and intresting than the previous 2 seasons.
    It bored me to tears (almost tears, seeing the show going down the drain) JUST seeing them strategise, I wanted to see some of the survival aspect, something which got totally dismissed after Heroes vs Villains.
    Considering the name is “Survivor” it would be nice, like previous seasons, to see them hungry and struggling for food. It is like they assume we have all watched the show already and know all of this. Survivor is narrowing down its target audience by doing this and will eventually lead to the demise of the whole show
    I think the removal of Redemption was a step in the right direction and am very glad to see no returners, which turned the other contestants into starstruck looneys. This season made me glad to see that Survivor is getting back in shape (although is still not compareable with other seasons in the past). Just get out of Samoa, startdoing water challenges (the last propper one being in Micronesia for Fans vs Favorites), and show us them surviving.
    On a final note, to all you who are not going to watch the rest of the seasons, just remember the last three seasons. I would go as far to say they Nicuragua and possibly Redemption Island were so bad they can be compared with the likes of Thailand and Marquesas. They were dreadful. Watch One World and realise how much better after the bad streak it has just been through.
    Wow, it feels better to get that off my chest… Please reply with what you think!

    • Ben says:

      I liked Marquesas. The first time an obnoxious alliance that appeared to be dominant was picked off by a bunch of misfits scrabbling together an alliance. Satisfying.
      I don’t know why some of the people above found that episode so horrid they wouldn’t watch again. Sure, there are some irritating people, to whom we were over exposed. But I wouldn’t really be able to say anything about more than about 8 people – most were still just invisible.
      Troyzan and Alicia are the ones I’d be looking to get rid of first. Christina was great, Colton looks like the underdog you should root for but feels more like someone who is making every effort to isolate himself from any chance of winning.
      My guess is spice will come into this game in 2 or 3 weeks with a tribal switch.

  20. chloe says:

    Probst did not tell the players to put their hands to their sides in the challenge, he told them to cross them on their chests, specifically to avert the urge to use their hands to break the fall- which is what made her breaking her wrist less sympathetic. Get yer facts straight (intentional misspelling of ‘your’ to add emphasis).

  21. chloe says:

    Also, stealing was allowed on Rupert’s season (I think it was Pearl Islands) so why everyone is acting as if this is some new moral breach is beyond me.

  22. Justine says:

    Excruciating to watch. The women are pathetic and the men are worse. Are you allowing makeup & “outfits”?? WTF? If this is the sum total of the social experiment Survivor has amassed over years of evaluating the psyches of candidates then you suck at your jobs. Producer Burnett found what no one liked was immensely popular and despite his model the current Survivor staff has failed miserably and is now pandering to the lowest denominator by choosing contestants by looks. Oh wait, there’s a midget and an ugly cop… tossing them in doesn’t elude the watcher and make us believe for a second that your poor choices for camera ready people make a good show…. REALLY?

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