Gossip Girl Recap: God Only Knows

[Warning: If you’ve yet to watch Monday’s episode of Gossip Girl, avert your eyes…now! Everyone else, read on…]

Who would have thought that a Beach Boys song — and one-time Big Love theme — would be so apropos to Gossip Girl? But The CW soap’s return this Monday was surprisingly full of divine intervention and proclamations of love. Here’s a look back at the romantic — and mysterious — highlights.

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CHUCK AND BLAIR | Things changed quite a bit for the pair during the significant time jump since the fall finale’s car crash cliffhanger. Blair had — no surprise here — lost the baby. Chuck had a near brush with death, but seemed to have come out of the accident OK — except for the fact that Blair was now avoiding him and was refusing to tell him why. She finally confessed to Serena that she had prayed for Chuck’s life and promised to God that she’d marry Louis if he let Chuck live. Cue nurse telling Blair that Chuck was awake and asking for her. So now Blair believed that if anything were to ever happen to him — like a near-miss run-in with a car while innocently crossing the street — she would never be able to forgive herself. To protect Chuck, she would have to make the ultimate sacrifice and let him go even though she’ll always love him. Serena was the surprising voice of reason, telling her God wouldn’t want her to marry someone she didn’t love. “I don’t not love him,” she said of Louis. So to sum up: Blair and Chuck still love each other, but the wedding is still on, and The Big Guy is now Enemy No. 1 on every Chair ‘shipper’s list.

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DAN AND BLAIR Chuck and Louis’ explanation for Blair’s bizarre behavior? She’s having an affair with Dan, which Louis planned to expose at the Spectator‘s New Year’s Eve bash. (Ugh, Louis.) Dan and Blair were sneaking around together — but only to go to church! Blair had confided in Dan about her moment with God before she even told Serena, and he was merely keeping her secret as asked. So while things were strictly platonic between Blair and Dan in this episode, perhaps Chuck and Louis are onto something about how much Dan has become a part of Blair’s life?

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DAN AND SERENA | To cover for Blair, Serena lied and told Chuck and Louis that it was she and Dan who were having an affair. Appearances had to be kept up, so at the stroke of midnight, Serena and Dan sealed their fake relationship with a kiss. As they pulled apart, the blonde almost looked contemplative. It may be a new year, but old feelings appear to be coming back. On the professional front, Serena managed to silence Kristen Bell Gossip Girl, but the blogger wasn’t taking a vacation. She did her homework about Chuck and Blair’s compromised limo being meant for Nate, and led the boss behind her enemy’s blog to the truth. How long before Gossip Girl is working at the Spectator?

WILL THE REAL CHARLIE PLEASE STAND UP | While searching for Ivy, Lily’s P.I. actually tracked down the real Charlie, who’s a student right in New York! It seemed like real Charlie did not recognize her aunt Lily, who came by campus looking for her Charlie. If she wasn’t faking it and truly doesn’t know Lily, why all the secrecy? Was it all Carol’s doing? And where’s Ivy, who was completely MIA during the episode?

Gossip Girl fans, what do you think the other Rhodes girls are hiding? What do you make of Chuck and Blair’s new holy obstacle? Do you think Chuck’s quest to get Blair back will lead him to darkness? And what did you think of the fact that Blair went to Dan with her big secret?