Survivor: South Pacific Season Finale Recap: And the Winner Is... [Updated]

Totem poles were embraced. Houses of cards were erected. Puzzles were solved. Tears were shed. Hugs were rejected. Pigtails were sported (by Ozzy!). And shirtless Tai Chi was practiced on the beach. (Nope, Coach didn’t spare us the horror.) But in the end, only one player walked away with a cool $1 million at the end of Survivor: South Pacific. Here’s how the finale played out:

Final Redemption Island Duel: Ozzy defeats Brandon
Penultimate Immunity Challenge Winner: Ozzy
Penultimate Tribal Council Eviction: Rick
Final Immunity Challenge Winner: Sophie
Final Tribal Council Eviction: Ozzy
Final Three: Sophie, Coach, Albert
Winner of Survivor: South Pacific: Sophie Clarke!

Yes, I may have let out a mild-to-moderate whoop of pleasure when Jeff Probst finally spilled the beans. But hey, since Coach himself said in his opening remarks to the jury that “when you open yourself to others, you receive it ten-fold,” then surely he should be satisfied with all those warm fuzzies and none of the cash, right?

Anyhow, before I turn things over to you, here are a few of my thoughts on the finale:

Ozzy’s wisest observation (about Brandon’s fatal miscalculation): “He’s not playing with God; he’s playing with human beings who are greedy and want that money.”

Ozzy’s scariest observation: Describing the chance to exit Redemption Island and return to the main game as “getting back to real life.” (Someone needs some serious reality TV detox.)

Ozzy’s most egotistical observation: His reunion show remark about how he was sure everyone was rooting for him in the final challenge. Um, not me, dude.

Coach’s most ponderous voiceover: All that business about envisioning himself “rising above everybody, rising above all the misery… from destruction to absolute victory.”

Coach’s dumbest move (Option A): Not taking Brandon to the finale. (Come ON: Who would’ve voted for that dude?)

Coach’s dumbest move (Option B): Combining knee socks with a scraggly ponytail.

Sophie’s barely veiled way of telling Albert he was utterly useless in challenges, and in particular the house-of-cards game: “Albert, drop your stack and come pick up my pieces!” (Jeff Probst’s brilliant counterpunch: “You want Ozzy out of this game, beat him”)

Rick’s dreadful/truthful assessment of his own value in the game: “Ozzy needs people that aren’t gonna beat him.” (Sophie’s brilliant counterpunch: “If Rick’s not the man to do it, there’s no point in having him around.”)

Rick’s one moment of awesomeness in an almost silent season: Telling Coach to “go have a seat” when his betrayer stood up to embrace him.

Move that may have sealed Sophie’s win: That tearful breakdown during the second-to-last tribal council. Maybe she didn’t do it strategically, but Sophie managed to show some remorse for her social failings in the game — without it coming across that she was only repentant because a jury of her wronged peers were about to decide whether or not to give her $1 million.

Most insufferable congratulatory remark after Sophie’s immunity win: “A new slayer is born!” –Albert (so pretty, yet such a pitiful performance making a case for himself to his peers)

Brat calling the brat a brat: Ozzy whining to the final three that “the bad news is nobody wants to vote for any of you guys.” (Sack up, dude; you choked in that final immunity challenge, and your social game was mediocre, even though you managed to drop this laughable sound bite: “I played as good a social game as I possibly could’ve.”)

Most hilarious comment to the jury: Sophie saying she viewed Coach “as a young girl.”

Dimmest move in response to a juror’s question: Albert hemming and hawing at Brandon’s insistence on a “yes or no” answer to the question of whether he knew Brandon was going home after giving Albert his immunity necklace. (Why couldn’t Albert concoct one more lie and say “No”? Talk about failure to outwit and outlast, sucker.)

Most satisfying jury takedown: “Coach, you used Christianity to manipulate your whole tribe, and to put fear into them, actually.” — Whitney

Most satisfying jury comment period: “We signed up for this,” said a calm, reasonable Edna to her fellow jurors, who seemed hellbent on shaming the final three. “They managed to dupe each one of us. Congratulations!”

And congratulations to Sophie, a non-returning player who won three individual immunities, offered a decent amount of amusing confessional sound bites, and outstrategized her alliance mates all the way to a well-deserved win.

What did you think of Sophie’s win, and the season in general? Hit the comments and sound off, and check out a preview for next season, Survivor: One World, below! And for all my reality TV recaps, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV!

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115 Comments
  1. Michael says:

    Am I the only person who DISTINCTLY saw Russell Hantz in the previews of the upcoming One World season?!?!?!? I thought I would find all kinds of buzz over this today and have found nothing. Go back and watch the preview and see the guy in the hat working on something. That is absolutely positively Russell’s trademark hat so unless somebody is wearing one as a “tribute”……

  2. rantmuch says:

    I don’t get the Ozzy love. Sure, he seems like a genuinely nice guy and he is a strong physical player, but a great strategist/survivor player he is not. He was voted out twice and is a very emotional player. I would never rank him as a great player of the game, as I would think of tons of previous players to come back before him… And come on people. He was voted out thrice. If he is a great player, he would not have gotten voted out…

  3. RICK says:

    I THINK OZZIE SHOULD HAVE WON. THAT WAY HE COULD LEAVE A BUNDLE FOR HARRIET, RICKY, AND DAVID!

  4. DVD says:

    Did not want Sophie to win…. hated her from the first time she was onscreen. Wished Ozzy would have won, but out of the 3 finalist Coach should have beaten Prince Albert and Sophie.

    Damn I wish they would show who voted for who at the end of the reunion.

    • Sam says:

      They do reveal who voted for who. You need to just do a search on ‘Survivor South Pacific final votes’ With you regarding Ozzy and Coach. Major gutted. :(

  5. nodak says:

    If Survivor puts Russell and Brandon Hance on again, it will be the only season of Survivor that I haven’t watched. C’mon, if we want bad reality tv with irritating characters, we’ll watch Housewives of Wherever or Jersey Shores. Let’s get back to some good old-fashioned competition without the nut cases!

  6. oythepain says:

    The honchos at Survivor knew Ozzy was not good at puzzles, that’s why they sandbagged him so that Sophie had a chance to win it all.

    • D says:

      No, no, no. You are forgetting about the intensely physical aspect of the first half of the challenge. Ozzy had a HUGE lead opened up and he just panicked.

  7. hmm says:

    Ozzy won a similar immunity challenge, involving the “most difficult puzzle in Survivor history” (at that point of time) in Cook Islands, so it’s fair to say that he was meant to win it.

  8. Applesauce says:

    Ozzy winning would have been the one thing worse than sophie winning. it should have been coach by a landslide, he played the best game by a mile. and was i the only one shocked that ozzy won fan favorite? ozzy is the most arrogant player probably ever because at least others such as russell can back it up with awesome gameplay. ozzy is a horrible player.

  9. Flyerboy101 says:

    I wish CBS would go back to having only 2 Finalists. Having 3 people is useless when everyone knows that usually only 2 out of the three always gets the votes. How stupid Albert must have felt he didn’t get one stinkin’ vote. Kudos to Sophia :).

  10. Brill says:

    Michael, you really should stop writing on topics you know nothing about. You are clueless and trying to put worthy competitors down is not doing much for your credibility.

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