Castle Gets 'Cuffed': We Unlock the Best Quotes

If you’ve watched the “Cuffed” episode of ABC’s Castle, you now know why Stana Katic used words such as “cute,” “adorable” and “lighter” to tout the script by series boss Andrew W. Marlowe and writer/producer Terri Edda Miller. Because while the hour offered an interesting — and at times tense — mystery, it was the crisp, fun banter that truly took the spotlight.

We tallied the best of the soundbites.

‘Caskett’ discuss the romantic tension between… well, let’s pretend it’s Esposito and Lanie
Beckett: They both want to be together, but neither want to admit to it.
Castle: Ugh, why do people do that to themselves?
Beckett: Maybe they just don’t see it.
Castle: How could they not, it’s so obvious.

Castle seeks an old-school solution to a modern problem
Beckett: What is this, the 1940s? These are my police cuffs, you’re not going to open them with a bobby pin.

Beckett, bent over, backs into Castle… to help move a heavy chest
Beckett: You better not be enjoying this, Castle.
Castle: I’ll let you know in a minute.

Castle tires of his better half’s squawking
Castle: You would have made a terrible conjoined twin.

Beckett invites Castle to fantasize all he wants after their crisis is solved
Castle: It’s not as much fun if I have your permission.

Finally, someone voices the great mystery about Kate’s impractical heels
Castle: How do you run in these things?

To escape the cuffs, Castle “cuts” to the chase and suggests the 127 Hours solution
Beckett: My hand? Why my hand?
Castle: It’s smaller.

Suspecting they’re new product for a human-trafficking ring…
Castle: I’m a best-selling author! I wonder what I’d be worth.

After Kate (and those mad, stacked heels) help bust through a wall
Castle: I always liked your legs, but now I respect them.

A gun-toting baddie leaves Esposito and Ryan to trade glances, wondering who it was she meant
Woman: Maybe I’ll shoot the pretty one first….

Beckett announces her resolve to elude the big cat on their tail
Beckett: I did not survive a bullet to the heart to die as tiger kibble!

Esposito and Ryan ask Castle about his and Beckett’s predator
How was that tiger? Was it gr-r-r-reat?

As for whether “Cuffed” brought Rick and Kate closer than ever, intimately as well as physically….
Castle: If I ever have to be hitched to someone, it would be you.
Beckett: For what it’s worth, if I ever have to spend another night handcuffed to someone, I wouldn’t mind if it was you…. But next time, let’s do it without the tiger.
Castle: [After a double-take, his interest piqued] “Next time”…?

Did “Cuffed” satisfy your expectations for Rick and Kate in close quarters?

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Gaby says:

    I loved the episode but I thought it would be more emotionally charged!

    • Cheri says:

      Agree. Castle should be more happy & flirtatious
      than grumpy & deadpan. All promos from demon,
      Cops & robbers, Killshot, and Cuffed led
      us to think there’s going to be a kiss, hug,
      Heart 2 heart, or tender moment. Nada again!!
      Good episode, but 4 seasons is too long to wait
      for more!!

      • Katarzyna says:

        Cheri, stop complaining. And remember that Castle had a very short, just 10 episodes first season, ’cause they started in March 2009 as mid-season replacement. So technically it’s just THREE seasons now. So it’s definitely NOT TOO LONG to wait for more.

      • WWP says:

        Cheri, while I understand your frustration, you may need to hunker down for a LONG wait. Show runners live to please the Networks, rather than the audience, and Networks want you as a customer as long as possible so that’s what the Showrunner is going to provide. So you can bet that the best that you’re going to get is just enough crumbs to sustain you, but not enough to fill you up. So don’t get your hopes up, remember that promos are designed by the networks to get you to tune in (the showrunners usually have no imput on promos) and keep your expectations low. There’s at least two, more likely three, more seasons to drag this out over.

        • lame says:

          You may not have to wait that long. The story arc took a huge step this season, one I hadn’t expected till at least season five. Now it becomes really interesting to see where AWM & CO are taking us. Marlowe said he doesn’t fear the “moonlighting” curse and “Cuffed” might be a precursor of what a C/B coupling might resemble.
          It would be just as sexy,sassy,naughty and complex as ever. And that is a fabulous omen.

          • fwitzie says:

            Once the sexual tension is gone, so are the ratings. We have to be happy with crumbs. Happily ever after is boring..

      • Frenshon says:

        I agree with you Cheri. We have been waiting long. Although Castle has been on for technically 3 seasons, afer a while, the whole cat and mouse routine becomes frustrating. I understand that crumbs can be good in terms of development, but the supposed romantic moments between Castle and Beckett don’t seem to progress,but at times they seem to take steps backwards. I don’t think by putting them together it will loose the appeal or on screen chemistry that we love between these two characters, however, it think it will open up the possibilites for even better storylines showcasing the characters individually, and together. For instance, if they were in a relationship, how does Castle handle working with Kate, where she is the boss, and having to respect her authority on the job. It will be intresting how they will be able to switch gears from work to personal. Also, Castle and Beckett will probably be more protective of each other while on the job becasue of their feelings. They already display this concern especially in the Cops and Robbers episode, Knockdown, and others. I believe that by finally putting these two together, it will give that push and pull that we will still love between them. Of course no course of action is without it’s challenges, such as Castle’s secret of exploring Beckett’s mothers case without her, and keeping her out of the loop, in order to keep her safe. And of course, Kate’s secret of not revealing to Castle that she did in fact hear him say “I love you Kate.” I don’t know these two have potential, but sometimes waiting to long to get characters togetehr isn’t good either….

  2. Nerwen Aldarion says:

    Might be the best episode of Castle ever!!!!!

  3. Alex says:

    When they were talking about Lanie and Esposito and Kate said “They want to be together but neither want to admit it”, I screamed… “WOMAN!! DO YOU NOT HEAR YOURSELF?!?!”

  4. Audrey says:

    I <3 you for this post, Matt.

    Such an episode full of awesomeness. Thank you Andrew Marlowe and Terri Miller, now I can go on to enjoy my holidays without angst. (Goes and invent a time machine to fast-forward to January.)

  5. er says:

    LOVED This episode…. The banter and innuendos were just amazing..

  6. jake says:

    Most suspenseful castle in a long time. Loved it.

  7. Allyson says:

    Best Christmas Gift ever. Thank you Andrew W. Marlowe, Terri Edda Miller and all tehe Castle cast and crew. You have us all in a fangirl freakout tonight. :)

  8. Cookystarr says:

    This ep had everything
    Caskett moments, Esplanie moments, Ryan&”Javi” love/friendship, Ryan&Espo&Gates “chemistry”, creepy old lady & an unexpected visitor (tigrrrrrrrre). B

    • Jana says:

      That old lady was soooo creepy!! Seriously hoping those shots of her in the cage don’t show up in my dreams/nightmares tonight…

      • RockingNYC says:

        You and me both. I seriously don’t want a “Saw” theme dream where I have to desperately choose between saving myself or helping save Castle & Beckett so that I can at least have the chance of watching them finally get together from heaven.

  9. Ron says:

    If anyone else reads the Castle fansites, you’ll remember that the big deal about this episode was that there was a “closed set.” People were thinking that some big revelation was going to happen. But now my guess is that the closed set was just because they were working with a tiger. Animal trainer on set might be all well and good — but you don’t want Joey the Intern stepping on your guest’s tail. Could get messy.

  10. Madje_Knotts says:

    OH MY GOSH!!! I was in stitches the entire episode!!!! Except for the parts where I was afraid for their lives!!! But anyway, this episode was AWESOME!!! Best line was DEFINITELY the conversation that was about “Lanie and Esposito” Yeah Right!!!!

  11. Bobbie says:

    This episode showcases the best collection of dialogue I have even heard on a TV show! Andrew and Terri are an incredible writing team. What a gem!

  12. Kim says:

    “Cuffed” was a fantastic episode with equally fantastic lines. I loved it!

  13. Elizabeth says:

    Great, great episode (though was I the only one who saw the old woman and immediately ran screaming in terror remembered the much-discussed “never seen in syndication because it was too graphic” X-Files episode “Home?”) Anyway, this episode had it all — an interesting premise, amazing followthrough, Gates badassery and Lanie Parish snark.

    And that little look between Castle and Beckett (I steadfastly refuse to use that portmanteau) at the end was, I am convinced, was not only a little Christmas present to us fans but also something to get us to raise our right hands and say “In Marlowe we trust.” And I do. A lot. Brilliant.

    • MelindaB says:

      No, you weren’t the only one–she definitely had that aura about her. That episode of The X-Files still is in my head after how many years.

      I loved how Ryan grabbed Gates’s wrist when she lifted up the note and she was clearly gearing up to blast him when he pointed out the USPS code on the back.

      I can even more clearly see them all in a ’40s nod to film noir after this episode. However, I was hoping for a little more emotion and confession from Beckett and Castle on the cusp of their apparent death by tiger…but I can wait for it, as long as they don’t throw any more bogus “love interests” into the mix.

    • Scully223 says:

      My first thought when i saw her was OMG- it’s Mrs. Peacock from Home!!! My friend with whom I was watching is convinced it’s actually the actress from Existence (8th season finale).

      As for the list… I have to disagree. I cringed during the convo about Lanie and Espo. I felt as if I was actually being knocked over the head with the obviousness of the conversation and what they were doing. Not subtle at all. I expect more from Marlowe and co– although I’m beginning to lower my expectations in that regard since there have been a number of “anvil” type convos this season.

      I did love the rest of the banter though- especially the last scene. The whole thing was great really. I just can’t get past the cringe factor of that one convo and the fact that so many fans actually liked it.

      • Fae says:

        You weren’t the only one cringing – actually, though I enjoyed the episode and felt well entertained I thought the entire thing was SOOOOO over the top. Not just the anvils dropping left, right and center but especially those faux-sex-scenes. I mean, seriously, who would really believe Beckett – or anyone, for that matter – would squeal and grunt like that trying to push a box around? And the rest of the shoving and moaning in the dark? TOO MUCH.
        I’m afraid with “Cuffed” the show has crossed the fine line between over-the-top and plain-silly. And if there is one thing that BONES taught us it’s that that is the beginning of the giant downward slope of unbearably-ridiculous. Let’s hope the PTB turn CASTLE around before all that cringing stops us from watching!

  14. Ella says:

    I was in stitches with this episode…..I mean, the banter was definitely there!! And I do have faith that Beckett and Castle will get somewhere that we viewers want eventually…..but for now, we’re getting scenes leading up to it ;-)

  15. Kate says:

    Now THAT was a fun episode! This show is just doing so many things right. I can’t believe we have to wait until January for the next one.

  16. Maria says:

    Only one word ….. WOW!!! It’s awesome!

  17. M3rc Nate says:

    Agree as well. In reading these lines they are cute, but this episode was hyped (mainly by tvline) as a emotionally charged cute kate and castle stuck together. Like after being stuck there was going to be a real realization for one/both of them.

    All other times they might die there has been big emotional leaps foreward. Freezing in shipping container, sniper shot, radiation quarintine, threat of 3X killer to kate, bomb at kates apartment etc etc.
    This time it was all superficial, those were quips not meaningful dialoge that changed things between them. They could have easily died but no revalation? No “I gotta tell u something…”? No. So overall I was quite disapointed watching the ep.

  18. Yas says:

    I loved this episode! I was either laughing or on the edge of my seat!!! The innuendoes were awesome. I don’t think I can wait till jan 9th!

  19. nitemar says:

    Definitely one of the best episodes and a must rewatch throughout my Christmas holidays and hiatus. Don’t know, but I think Beckett was enjoying more being cuffed together than Castle himself.

    • Agreed says:

      I thought the exact same thing. Really loved the episode, but it was missing a little of the Richard Castle snark (and Cuffed was custom made for more of it). Beckett was having a good time throughout…

      Can’t wait for more new Castle eps. This is one of the few shows I still do watch live!

    • John says:

      She’s been amused by him even more than ever this entire season. Always walking away with that little “I know something he doesn’t” smile.

  20. Steven says:

    My favorite moment of the episode was when Beckett asks Castle to raise her shirt. Watch his hand after he tells her what he sees. That’s a very intimate caress.

  21. T says:

    I know its a TV show … but if the bad guys wanted to ensure the dead guy wasn’t ID’d why not feed him to the tiger and never have him found?

  22. Liss says:

    One of the best of the series. TM and AM need to write more episodes!

  23. Seon says:

    Fantastic episode.
    Everyone was great.

    LOL’d a lot.

    Waking up together; Trying to move the chest; Beckett trying to climb on Castle’s shoulders
    … just priceless.

  24. wiz says:

    i actually thought it was a bit of a letdown. i mean it was a good episode but they all are. i dunno, i was just expecting a little more. anyone agree ?

  25. KC says:

    Here’s one for the “Gee, She Really Didn’t Age Well” file…the woman who played the creepy old lady was Deborah Van Valkenburgh. She played Jackie, Ted Knight’s daughter, on Too Close for Comfort. Those of you of a certain age of fans of 1980s sitcoms
    will know who I’m talking about.

  26. Laura says:

    The ep was fine just fine..they sold us something huge big for the caskett and at the end was the same..just words!

  27. Elle says:

    Loved the episode. The tiger was a real surprise. I just love their banter and it always leaves you with a good feeling.

  28. Carrie says:

    Anyone else notice how after Espo is telling Ryan about what the ‘canoeing’ test means, that Castle and Beckett were going around in circles. Of course later, Beckett references the concept again by saying they (she and Castle) found their rhythm. Lots of great stuff in this episode to acknowledge those who are frustrated with the slow pace, but to not give in to moving too fast. C’mon, just because a week or so ago she said she was ready to ‘be more’ doesn’t mean she’s instantly ready to jump in. I’m all for how it’s going….as long as there aren’t any new boyfriends/girlfriends brought in. I think they are both past the point where they would get involved with anybody else.

  29. PPPG says:

    Matt – you should have pointed out how Gates is starting to accept Castle. A few episodes ago she seemed to dislike him saying, (paraphrase) “as soon as you … I’ll see you prosecuted.” and in this one, no hesitation, “now two of [b][i]my[/b][/ii people are missing.” [emphasis mine]

    I did ♥♥♥ this episode though!

  30. OK says:

    Maybe I’m just ignorant, but how the h did they upend that heavy trunk and once it was up, how did they get up on it without it falling over?

  31. AA says:

    My favorite: I did not survive a bullet to the heart to die as tiger kibble. Muahaha.

  32. H says:

    I found the “Why aren’t they together – It’s so obvious” convo a little too… explicit for my taste. Was a thoroughly enjoyable episode though. Oh, and they need to have sex rather soon. Thank you.

  33. Lyn Bockmiller says:

    Great show drama,danger and what I thought was interest was when Beckett woke up and look over at Castle and smiled and then they show her hands on Castle then she became aware of where they were it change again a great show Its going to get better I can see that I taped It and looked at again and see a lot I missed try it you will be suprised at what you miss you can stop it and go back and look at something again

  34. caskett shipper says:

    hey matt webb mitovich, it’s andrew w. marlowe, not andrew h. marlowe.

  35. leo says:

    Loved it, absolutely loved it. That I’ll be waiting for your phone call,look from Beckett at the end was priceless.
    This episode is an in your face, for all those foolish enough to think this series would wither and die once Castle and Beckett officially become a couple. It will only become soooo much better.
    the banter would be much more pointed, sexy, naughty, with double entendres flying all over the place.
    I didn’t expect the relationship to develop like this till season five. Now that we’re here, the question is, when will the next make out session be.
    I like captain Gates being involved in the cases and the way she stands up for her people, Castle now being among them. And for all you worry warts, yes, there will be a season five.

  36. V^2 says:

    Does anyone know what that look towards the end of the episode that castle and beckett share means? The boss lady had just put her handcuffs back in the box and then beckett looks at castle and he gives her this smug guilty look.

  37. barb says:

    I just loved the episode!I was a Tiva fan but NCIS is lacking! Certainly finding it on castle-That Kastle with a K.LOL

  38. Myra says:

    I laughed sooo hard when Ryan said “Oh God. It ate ’em!”…lol I’m starting again…