The X Factor Top 9 Performance Night: Follow Along With Our Pithy Live Blog!

There’s no denying the awesomeness of Thanksgiving — in fact, I just had a brief food fantasy about the whoosh of a can-opener breaking into a tangy container of processed cranberry sauce — but I’m a little more dubious about “Giving Thanks” as a theme night on The X Factor. I’ll say this: If it involves any of the Top 9 acts covering “I Believe I Can Fly,” “The Greatest Love of All,” or “Jesus Take the Wheel,” I’m going to start drinking this Sauvignon Blanc straight from the bottle.

If that’s anywhere close to how you’re approaching this week’s performance-night telecast, then please consider this live blog post as your pithy, mildly inebriated viewing companion.

The X Factor Top 12: Strengths, Weaknesses, and Suggested Song Choices

As the episode rolls on, I’ll update you on who’s performed what and offer my opinions of said performances in 10 words or less. So keep refreshing the page for all the good, the bad, and the inevitable cover of Mariah Carey’s “Hero.” (Prove me wrong, mentors!)

Rachel Crow: Yolanda Adams’ “Believe”
90% of notes hit but no Gospel hand from me.

Marcus Canty: Boyz II Men’s “A Song for Mama”
Lying judges! A vocal only a mother could love!

Melanie Amaro: R. Kelly’s “The World’s Greatest”
Full ’90s diva styling/vocal powah in effect. Testify, mon!

Chris Rene: The Beatles’ “Let It Be”/original track “Young Homie”
Truthful Simon: He murdered The Beatles, killed with “Young Homie.”

Lakoda Rayne: Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me”
Give thanks to Paula for not choosing a sappy ballad!

LeRoy Bell: Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel”
Heartfelt, yeah, but his phrasing seemed slightly wonky to me.

Astro: Jay-Z’s “Show Me What You Got” (with original lyrics)
Crazy talented, but someone should mentor him on how to smile.

Drew Ryniewicz: Demi Lovato’s “Skyscraper”
Voice like caramel bread pudding + Paula schooling L.A. = Vote!

Josh Krajcik: Rolling Stones’ “Wild Horses”
Wow that was gorgeous. Pimp slot, earned!

Your turn: Who’d you love? Who’s headed home?

Slezak on Twitter: @MichaelSlezakTV!