The X Factor Top 11 Performance Night: Follow Along With Our Snappy Judgments

The X Factor’s Top 11 acts will perform “Songs from the Movies” this week, which means we all have to brace our ears for an inevitable Disney princess ballad or perhaps the American Idol Death Anthem known as “Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now).”

If you don’t want to face that kind of music alone, then please consider this live blog post as your pithy, mildly inebriated viewing companion.

The X Factor Top 12: Strengths, Weaknesses, and Suggested Song Choices

As the episode rolls on, I’ll update you on who’s performed what and offer my opinions of said performances in five words or less. So keep refreshing the page for all the good, the bad, and Steve Jones robot impersonations. (“I. Am. Your. Host. Someone. Forgot. To. Flip. My. Personality. Switch. Please.”)

* Stacy Francis, Whitney Houston’s “Queen of the Night”: In tune-ish, but cartoon frog-ish.
* Marcus Canty, Rose Royce’s “I’m Going Down”: Solid. Soulful. Still miss Jazzlyn.
* Drew Ryniewicz, Coldplay’s “Fix You”: Sublime. (Maybe not the dress.)
* Leroy Bell, U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”: Total B+, and that’s enough.
* Lakoda Rayne, Keith Urban “Somebody Like You”: 27 members? Rough final harmonies.
* Astro, a modified version of Eminem’s “Lose Yourself”: Annoyingly impressive. Unhand him, Steve!
* Melanie Amaro, Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror”: Monster voice. Monstrously flat arrangement.
* Stereo Hogzz, Christina Aguilera’s “Ain’t No Other Man”: Not perfect, but I dug.
* Josh Krajcik, The Beatles’ “With a Little Help From My Friends”: Powerful but growly. GRRRRR! ARRRGH!
* Chris Rene, Coolio’s “Gangster’s Paradise” (reconfigured as — I think? — “Pastime Paradise”): Award for ‘Most Improved’ goes to…
strong>* Rachel Crow, Etta James’ “I’d Rather Go Blind”: Solid, but not entirely believable?

Full recap will post early thursday morning, but until then, hit the comments and share your own opinions! And for all my X Factor news and commentary, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV!