Glee Spoiler Alert: 8 Things You Must Know About Next Week's Sex-cellent Episode, 'The First Time'

Glee rebounds mightily from Tuesday’s subpar “Pot O’ Gold’ episode with next week’s stellar sexual rite of passage-themed “First Time,” which finds two of the show’s supercouples — Rachel and Finn, and Kurt and Blaine — going all the way. But the standout episode isn’t all about getting it on. It’s also about…

1. Talking about getting it on. During a West Side Story rehearsal, director Artie tells Rachel and Blaine that they lack passion as Maria and Tony, then guesses that maybe they’ve never, you know, done it. “How do you expect to convey the human experience to an audience when you haven’t even opened yourself up to one of humanity’s most basic and primal needs?” he asks. Fun fact: We also learn Rachel and Kurt aren’t the only McKinley-ites in the Virgin Club: Coach Bieste and Blaine are also waiting for the right guy. Speaking of which…

2. Bieste and her new football recruiter boyfriend (played by Eric Bruskotter). They’re super-sweet together. So super-sweet, in fact, that it’s going to really suck when she finds out about this.

3. The arrival of Sebastian. No sooner does Grant Gustin’s gay Warbler debut than he sets his sights on Blaine. And what he wants, I suspect he’ll get: He’s got charisma to spare and tons of chemistry with Darren Criss. Fun fact: He’s not the only obstacle to Klaine sex — the other is Kurt’s wardrobe. Specifically, “All of his layers.”

Glee Scoop: A New Directions Exit, Post-Grad Plans and More!

4. The opening night of West Side Story. I did mention that that was coming up, right? Right. So it won’t be a huge surprise that much of the hour’s play list comes from the musical. My fave: Lea Michele and Naya Rivera rendition of “A Boy Like That,” which is cleverly intercut with Sebastian doing some hardcore flirting with Blaine.

5. Karofsky’s return. When Sebastian invites Kurt and Blaine out to local gay haunt Scandal, Kurt runs into his old nemesis at the bar. Apparently, transferring to a new school has done wonders for the bully’s disposition. He’s mellowed out considerably and coming to grips with his sexuality. It’s my favorite scene of the episode and should fire up those Kurt-Karofsky ‘shippers out there (and I know you’re out there).

6. Santana’s putdown. The snarkiest Cheerio gets the episode’s best line when she urges Rachel not to do the deed with Finn because, well, he’s a lousy lay. “Finn is terrible in bed. It was like being smothered by a sweaty, out of breath sack of potatoes that somebody soaked in body spray.” Fun fact: Brittany called Artie by the wrong name four times when he lost her virginity to her.

7. Kurt’s bucket list. No. 87 on it? “To become CEO of Logo.”

8. Finchel and Klaine sex. Ultimately, both couples do the deed, and it’s romantic, tasteful and all very satisfying. (For the kissing-conscious Klaine ’shippers, there’s one significant smooch, but it does not take place during The Act. For more on that, scan my Twitter feed.) Finchelcourse, meanwhile, comes on the heels Finn receiving some bad news, but I would hardly call it pity sex. Again, you will be pleased. Maybe not as pleased as Finn. But pleased.

Got Qs about “The First Time” that weren’t answered above? Email ‘em to me at askausiello@tvline.com or tweet me at @MichaelAusiello.

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384 Comments
  1. Molly says:

    NOO! NO THIS IS NOT GOOD. I AM A MAJOR PUCKLEBERRY FAN! HOW COULD RACHEL LOOSE HER VIRGINITY TO FINN? Finn is a TERRIBLE man, like seriously Rachel deserves WAY better.

    There are many examples of Finn beings a bad boyf, just look them up. Plus, Rachel and Puck are cute together. Damnit I HATE FINCHEL. D;

  2. tmb says:

    shut up every on klain is not that good or is finchel why don,t focus on other couples that is all glee is ever about rachel,fin,kurt and now blain.
    and we see ore of teh other charters.

  3. WHAT says:

    the only couple i like is brittany and santana and finchel or klain so what is brittany and santana’S NAME?

  4. MATE says:

    BRITTANY AND SANTANA ALL THE WAY NOT BOTHERED ABOT THE OTHER COUPLES SO WHAT IS THEIR TWOS NAME?

  5. emily says:

    lols to the conversations that happen on this so funny just talking about glee sex with randomers. then someone starts a new conversation even wierder than the last lols love it.
    But yeah i agree she probs was lols

  6. Mia says:

    Am I the only one who’s totally tired of the Finchel drama? More Klaine!! (I completely, 100%, totally ship them)

  7. Desislava says:

    Hi can anyone tell me which song is broadcast during the frame Kurt please :))

  8. Bdsm Tube says:

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