The X Factor Top 12 Performance Night: Follow Along With Our Snappy Judgments

Spoiler alert: Stacy Francis is going to go for a giant glory note, Rachel Crow is gonna be all gosh-darn-aw-shucks cutesy, and those gentlemen from Stereo Hogzz shall bust a move.

Yes, it’s Top 12 Performance Night on The X Factor — and also your first opportunity to get your vote on and challenge the authority of judges who prefer Dexter Haygood to Elaine Gibbs.

If that sounds like your kind of party, then please consider this live blog post as your pithy, mildly inebriated viewing companion.

As the episode rolls on, I’ll update you on who’s performed what and offer my opinions of said performances in five words or less. So keep refreshing the page for all the good, the bad, and Nicole Schairheelsandmascara ridiculata.

The X Factor Top 12: Strengths, Weaknesses, and Suggested Song Choices

* Stereo Hogzz, Janet Jackson’s genius “Rhythm Nation”: Dreadful intro. Simon hyperbole! Decent?
* Chris Rene, The Carpenters’ “Superstar”: Likable, but underwhelming. Drops phrases.
* Leroy Bell, Lonestar’s “I’m Already There”: Pretty. Saw Lunesta butterfly though.
* Rachel Crow, Katrina and the Waves’ “Walking on Sunshine”: “America’s sunshine?” Nicole, please. Ai’ight.
* Lakoda Rayne, Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide”: Echo-ey FX? Good + Predictable = Predictagood?
* Josh Krajcik, Christina Perri’s “Jar of Hearts”: I’d download, though wee wobbly.
* Melanie Amaro, The Eagles’ “Desperado”: Who needs five words? Awesome.
* Astro, a modified mashup of Naughty By Nature’s “Hip-Hop Hooray”/Missy Elliot’s “Get Your Freak On”: In Atro’s own words: “Dope.”
* Intensity, Kim Wilde’s “Kids in America”/LMFAO’s “Party Rock”: Need warm milk and pillow.
* Drew Ryniewicz, Nelly’s “Just a Dream”: I’m in disbelief, too. Tremendous.
* Marcus Canty, Bobby Brown’s “Every Little Step”: Tsunami of spectacle. Kinda upsetting.
* Stacy Francis, Patty Griffin’s “Up to the Mountain”: Too many candles. Contender, though.

Full recap will post early thursday morning, but until then, hit the comments and share your own opinions! And for all my X Factor news and commentary, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. fire the warbrobe department now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. what a horrible song choice

    • Kevin C. says:

      I love how I have no idea which song was playing when you posted this one…pretty much right for nearly all of them.

  3. best part of the performance the lead singers arms

  4. what in the world is Simon sipping out of his pepsi cup

  5. BeachBum says:

    Simon, the best group on the world? Really?

  6. Matthew B Lawler says:

    The judges must hear a completely different sound track than I am hearing

  7. BeachBum says:

    As least they weren’t as dated as last week but they’re basically a singer with 4 backup dancers.

  8. If only Chris singing was as fine as his looks

  9. Nicole says:

    First performance was meh

  10. flames and dockers really lol

  11. BeachBum says:

    MUCH better than last week.

  12. he is my favorite and looks damn good for his age

  13. lone star got to love him making this song his own

  14. BeachBum says:

    Oh Paula…Snap !

  15. time to change the channel let me know when Rachel is gone

  16. BeachBum says:

    get ready for some sugar overload.

  17. darcy's evil twin says:

    People, people, PEOPLE!!!!! Really? Why so negative? Give these folks a chance, for crying out loud. Think positive.

    Oh wow this sucks.

  18. darcy's evil twin says:

    “Walking on Sunshine”?
    Wow, and here I am in the kitchen. Somebody hide the knives and sharp objects.

  19. my ears and eyes are bleeding

  20. hit the x and end this now oh sorry wrong show lol

  21. Brian says:

    This. Is. Terrible. I miss Kradam.

  22. BeachBum says:

    She so “adorable” that they avoid critiquing her singing and the missed notes.

  23. Betsy says:

    Simon is the worst song picker ever. Yuck.

  24. they look like bargain basement pageant girls

  25. darcy's evil twin says:

    Wow, despite the Lennon Sisters Meets Sesame Street Wardrobe, Lakota Rayne looks and sounds pretty good.

  26. Dixie Chicks have nothing to fear from these girls

  27. rose says:

    Lunesta LOL
    yikes the sorority babes i predict are going bye bye

  28. BeachBum says:

    Now it gets interesting…Melanie and Josh

  29. Mr. Slezak they were clearly butchering the Dixie Chicks version not fleetwood mac

  30. If they could just put Josh’s voice in Chris’s body I would be in complete bliss

  31. darcy's evil twin says:

    If they could just put Chris on another show (“Gossip Girl” works for me) I would be in complete bliss.

  32. rose says:

    poor josh, nicole must have a really poopy cd collection, cause man does she pick stinkie music, seriously who does she think she is, i say she is off the show next year

    • ana_muti says:

      I don’t know what Nicole was thinking–that was a horrid song choice for Josh. I wanted him to do what he does best–soul, blues, something ragged and wild. Not–NOT “Jar of Hearts” whatever.

      Egads she might as well hang Englebert Humperdink around his neck and count the hour till he’s voted off the show. What, does she hate him or something?? I’m so ticked at her right now!

      Only being an excellent artist/singer is saving him.

      • darcy's evil twin says:

        Hey, I think Josh could do a pretty good job with a reworked version of Englebert’s “Release Me”.
        Although, I’d kind of like to hear him sing Steppenwolf’s “Snowblind Friend”.

      • Shindig says:

        I really want her to stop giving him predictable song choices :/ and I heard someone else say he should sing Pearl Jam, so I’m not alone. That makes me feel totally fuzzy, haha.

  33. BeachBum says:

    His voice seemed a little tight tonight but I really like his voice

  34. ana_muti says:

    I’m angrier than words can say about what Nicole is doing to both Josh and LeRoy–song choices are horrible! Josh deserves better, as does LeRoy

  35. BeachBum says:

    Whoa, this girl is amazing !

  36. darcy's evil twin says:

    I liked Melanie Amaro’s performance, but The Eagles had so many interesting songs…I would have liked to have heard her sing something not quite so shopworn. “Desperado” has been done to death, IMO.

    • Shindig says:

      All I could think of as soon as she opened her mouth was the Seinfeld episode that was on the other night about the “Desperado, that’s my song.” episode, lol.

  37. sorry roommate called demanding I clean the bathroom did I miss anything good?

  38. really astro in letters taller than the kid himself

  39. If this was American Idol they would already have Astro and Rachel in a showmance thank got X factor hasn’t crossed that line

  40. another over-hyped performance

  41. Tim says:

    Can’t wait to watch this, I’m on West Coast.

    I suppose it’s a given that Drew gets the pimp spot?

  42. looks like I missed the best performance of the night and my god who watches that horrid tripe Gossip Girl

  43. BeachBum says:

    Tell your roommate you’ll clean it later. Your presence is required elsewhere.

  44. what is with the Glee comparisons this kids are nothing like glee

  45. cheesy but not in that good Velveeta shells and cheese kind of way

  46. that was FUNdementaly awful