The X Factor Top 16 Announcement: Who's In, Who's Out? Follow Our Live Unveiling!

As sure as L.A. Reid will bring the dapper. As certainly as that Pussycat Dolls woman will serve misty eye and trembling lower lip. As indubitably as Simon Cowell will overwork his good news/bad news fakeout face. And as undoubtedly as Paula Abdul’s “Groups” category will be the surprise droppings in the freshly bathed baby’s diaper, The X Factor will announce its 16 finalists during Tuesday night’s long and winding (and probably filler-packed) episode.

As the episode rolls on, I’ll update you on who’s in, and who’s out in all four categories — Girls Under 30; Boys Under 30; Over-30s; and Groups — along with my one-word reaction to each announcement. So keep refreshing the page for all the good and bad news. Full recap will post early Wednesday morning, but until then, hit the comments and rejoice/revolt! And for all my X Factor news and commentary, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV!

GIRLS
No: Tora Woloshin. Yowza!
Yes: Simone Battle. Diva!
Yes: Drew Ryniewicz. @%#&(*(#*#(*&(#*^*&$@#@$@# YEAH!
No: Jazzlyn Little. Sads.
No: Caitlin Koch. Idol?
Yes: Tiah Tolliver. Dark horse?
No: Melanie Amaro. FOOLISH!
Yes: Rachel Crow. Scripted!
YES: MELANIE AMARO (I need more than a word or two to say Simon changed his mind with approval from the other judges, went to Sunrise, FL, and invited Melanie to join his team for the live shows. Sanity has been restored!)

OVER 30s
Yes: Josh Krajcik. Authenticity!
No: Christa Collins. Booooo!
No: James Kenney. Apron.
Yes: Dexter Haygood. Cahhhhhhhhhhhn’t.
No: Tiger Budbill. :( — but, yeah.
Yes: Leroy Bell. Contender!
No: Elaine Gibbs. F&*#!!!!
Yes: Stacy Francis. Mascary.

GROUPS
No: 2SQUAR’D. Ambiv. (Still want their audition single on iTunes NOW!)
Yes: The Brewer Boys. $$$$
No: Illusion Confusion. Who?
No: 4Shore. Correct!
Yes: Lakota Rayne: Oy.
Yes: Intensity. Rabid pack?
No: The Anser. Spelling counts!
Yes: Stereo Hogzz. Or does it?

BOYS
Yes: Brian “Astro” Bradley. Naughty step. (Sorry, needed two words to express my conflicted feelings.)
No: Nick Voss. Respeck.
No: Skyelor Andeson. Obvious.
Yes: Phillip Lomax. Eh.
No: Brennin Hunt. Crazytown.
Yes: Chris Rene. (excited. shhh.)
No: Tim Cifers. Okay.
Yes: Marcus Canty. Funky!