The TVLine-Up: TV Worth Watching Wednesday

On your TV this Wednesday: The X Factor gives singers the Boot, the Middle mom moves out, Morgan eyeballs Prentiss, and the 10 o’clock hour gets freaky. The people have spoken and we’re staying daily* with the TVLine-Up, so here now our picks for the day.

* IMPORTANT NOTE: With a new era comes new parameters. In its daily incarnation, the TVLine-Up will of course flag big premieres and finales as well as cite “noteworthy” regular episodes of a series (i.e. those that we know or have heard to be standouts, boast interesting guest stars, or possess some other intangible “fun” factor). And during these first weeks of the fall, I’ll also invite you to give new shows a second look. Lastly, my lawyer says that as the author, I am also entitled to lob out the occasional wild card, just because.

8 pm Survivor: South Pacific (CBS) | “A castaway turns on his alliance and teams up with an unlikely tribe member,” CBS tells us, because you can’t write that tease for just any Survivor episode.

8 pm The X Factor (Fox) | With auditions now complete, hopefuls head to Los Angeles for the first round of “Boot Camp.”

8 pm Up All Night (NBC) | Ohh, so this is the episode where Reagan and Chris shop for a family-friendly car? Elsewhere, Ava resolves to address more serious topics on her show, only to quickly find out what a drag that can be.

8 pm The Middle (ABC) | Hello, Goodbye Girl! Fed up by her family’s latest mortifying gaffe, Frankie moves out and moves in with her mom (played by Marsha Mason).

8:30 pm Suburgatory (ABC) | Tessa can’t live with herself when she starts falling hard for neighbor lady Ana Gasteyer’s jock of a son, while George is charged with cooking up an epic barbeque for the neighborhood.

X Factor‘s Simon and L.A. Talk ‘Humbling’ Ratings, Weak Groups, and How Much ‘Pretty’ Matters

9 pm Criminal Minds (CBS) | Prentiss must complete recertification training, and under Morgan’s watchful eye, no less. Max Martini (The Unit) guest stars.

9 pm Modern Family (ABC) | Jay helps Manny with his school fundraiser gift wrap sale (eliciting a knowing groan from yours truly), while Claire begins her multi-episode clash with City Hall and guest star David Cross (Arrested Development).

9:30 pm Happy Endings (ABC) | Alex’s cute line of slogan t-shirts for babies (e.g. “Put Me to Bed”) become inappropriately popular with teen girls — and with, apparently, Penny here.

9:30 pm Raising Hope (Fox) | ‘Tis true, a bonus episode this week! In Las Vegas for her cousin Delilah’s (Amy Sedaris) wedding, Virginia laments that she and Burt never had a fancy ceremony. An officiating Elvis is “fancy”?

Connie Britton: American Horror Story Will ‘Transcend’ Viewers’ Perception of Horror

10 pm CSI (CBS) | While on a date, Stokes realizes that a piece of art at an exhibit has decomposing body parts in it. So… no second date?

10 pm Law & Order: SVU (NBC) | Kyle MacLachlan (Twin Peaks) and Paige Turco (I’ll go with Party of Five) play a well-heeled political couple whose son and housekeeper’s son are both suspected of raping a young girl.

10 pm Revenge (ABC) | “Daniel reveals a part of himself that Emily finds very attractive.” Hey, now! Oh, and: Max Martini (The Unit) guest stars on this one, too.

10 pm American Horror Story (FX) | Are you ready for this? Like, really ready? In this piece of far-out fare from Glee‘s Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk, Dylan McDermott and Connie Britton play slightly estranged marrieds who move with their daughter into a very strange house that has hosted myriad grisly murders dating back decades. But it has an updated kitchen! Academy Award winner Jessica Lange and True Blood‘s Denis O’Hare costar as an overly friendly (and yet not at all friendly) neighbor and a previous, disfigured resident of the house, respectively. (We don’t know yet who’s playing the creepy dude in the rubber gimp suit.)

10 pm Penn and Teller Tell a Lie (Discovery) | This new “interactive” series has Penn and Teller presenting seven unbelievable facts — such as, “A human hair can lift a Mustang” or “A butter knife can stop a speeding bullet” — then go on to prove that only one of them is a big, fat lie. Viewers at home can play along online to guess which truth is bogus.

10 pm South Park (Comedy Central) | Season 15 resumes with Cartman suspecting that he has “A** Burger Syndrome” — and based on clips, that might not be a malapropism.

10:30 pm Nick Swardson’s Pretend Time (Comedy Central) | The Season 2 premiere of the sketch series includes a parody of 16 and Pregnant and an infomercial for an unorthodox way to get better abs.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Snapy says:

    8: Survivor
    9: Modern Family
    9:30: nothing/break
    10: Revenge

  2. Alicia says:

    Criminal Minds FTW, but I’m getting sick of all the Morgan-Prentiss scenes. There are other dudes on the team. How about more Hotch-Prentiss, Reid-Prentiss or even Rossi-Prentiss (<–how did he know she was still alive) scenes??

  3. Loving Up All Night, still on the fence about Suburgatory (possibly only watching because I was a huge Six Feet Under fan) but I will go on Hunger Strike if they take Revenge away from me!

  4. M says:

    Modern Family, Criminal Minds, and Revenge! :)

  5. Mandy says:

    Revenge all the way. I’ll be on strike with Erin if they take it away.

  6. fernando says:

    Im going to watch Revenge Live and DVR American Horror Story.

    Also watching Up All Night and Happy Endings

  7. Snapy says:

    Revenge needs a good catfight between Emily and Victoria that ends in a swimming pool.

  8. Marcus says:

    Modern Family, Suburgatory, Up All Night, The Middle… Wednesdays are officially a better TV night than Tuesdays for me now, especially now that Glee is unwatchable.

  9. Ashley says:

    Up All Night, Suburgatory, and Criminal Minds live with a bonus Raising Hope in my DVR.

  10. Nadine says:

    A bonus Raising Hope! Can’t wait!!

  11. Elizabeth says:

    Up All Night, Suburgatory, Raising Hope (RH >> Happy Endings) and one of my new favorite shows, Revenge.

  12. art says:

    Criminal Minds, Revenge then SportsCenter….

  13. Elaine says:

    8:00 – Tape X-Factor
    8:30 – Suburgatory
    9:00 – Start watching X Factor (I could kiss the butt of the person who invented Fast Forward)
    10:00 or so – Revenge
    10:00 – Tape AHS

  14. Templar says:

    Halloween Wars on the Food Network for the first hour, then CBS for the next two hours.

  15. Elaine says:

    10:00 Tape South Park. Gotta have me some Butters

  16. Katie says:

    I think I’m gonna try Happy Endings tonight! I haven’t watched it before, but I’ve been hearing really good things about it. Hope it lives up to the praise. :)

    And watching Revenge, of course.

  17. SK says:

    Giving American Horror Story a try! And I really did not like the first couple episodes of Happy Endings when I caught it on a marathon the other week, but tonight’s episode summary sounds funny. Maybe I’ll tune in while waiting for AHS.

  18. socalgal says:

    Fox news, Storage Wars/Red Jacket & Suburgatory

  19. AuntieMM says:

    Sorry but just about nothing appeals to me on Wednesday nights so I catch NCIS repeats on USA. I’ll wait to see the early reviews of AMS and check out Penn and Teller instead. Their B***S*** show was a guilty pleasure of mine when I could afford the pay channels.

  20. Em says:

    I’m Suburgatory, Modern family, Revenge. Can’t wait for Revenge the most.

  21. Jerri says:

    Survivor, Suburgatory and Criminal Minds. Good thing for DVRs, I can tape Suburgatory to watch later. There’s a new Mythbusters episode tonight too, no? The one where (as Adam teases) they play with giant balls.

  22. shaun says:

    Max Martini is having a busy night :p

  23. Pam says:

    Raising Hope
    American Horror Story – I am a little concerned about watching this so late and so right before bed. Will I have to recheck all of my locks, look beneath my bed and make sure the closet door is firmly shut?

  24. Lisa says:

    Matt: You forgot Free Agents @ 8:30 pm

  25. Lisa says:

    I will be taping and watching:
    The Middle
    Modern Family
    Up All Night
    Free Agents
    Raising Hope
    Ghost Hunters
    Penn & Teller
    American Horror Story

  26. Lisa says:

    Matt: You forgot Ghost Hunters and MythBusters

  27. Lisa says:

    Wednesday is crazy

  28. ceebee says:

    Watch live –
    2nd hour of X Factor
    American Horror Story (been waiting for this one all year!!)

    Taping –
    bonus Raising Hope – (my favorite Comedy on TV right now!!) ;-)

  29. kevin says:

    Hope tonight’s FREE AGENTS is the last and could join PLAYBOY CLUB on the cancellation block. Still be watching HAPPY ENDINGS even if the show’s ratings going to rebound and X FACTOR may not be at a crossroads but still a 50-50 chance at ratings still.

  30. jenny says:

    Oh, and: Max Martini (The Unit) guest stars on this one, too.

    Let me guess. Since Max is the guest star this week, he’s going to get “revenged” by Emily, isn’t he? And yet despite the predictability, I’m still digging Revenge.

  31. Volcfom says:

    Up All Night
    Free Agents
    Ghost Hunters
    American Horror Story
    South Park (at 12:00)
    — Wednesday is officially the busiest night for my DVR. I’m bummed that I’ll be missing the bonus episode of Raising Hope!

  32. D says:

    Connie Britton is ridiculously beautiful, but I’m still wary of AHS. I never cared for Nip/Tuck, and Glee… is Glee.

  33. prevo says:

    REVENGE is the best drama in ages and I hope the ratings are good. It’s now my favorite must-see show of the week as it airs. The Good Wife is disappointing so far this season so really glad to have Revenge.

  34. Audrey says:

    Modern Family and American Horror Story…I guess.

  35. mdaily says:

    Matt, I know you can’t list it all, but Luther is an outstanding show that I think deserves at least an honorary mention. It’s second season premiere last week did not disappoint and I suspect that this week’s episode will have me on pins and needles. Poor Ripley!

  36. Amber says:

    As much as I love the cast, I’m really not sold on Up All Night yet, I feel like the full season pickup was a tad premature. But I am still DVRing it to try and give it more of a chance.

    That’s great news about David Cross being on MF. Not that I needed the extra incentive to watch, but hearing that news, I do feel like someone just gave me something gift-wrapped. Will he bring his cat-like reflexes to the show?