Dancing With the Stars Recap: Year-View Mirror

J.R. Martinez made everyone weep. Chynna Phillips held on for one more day (in a big way). Kristin Cavallari channeled her “inner Beyonce” and (pretty much) pulled it off! Let’s take a closer look at the ebbs and flows of Week 3, which found each of our 10 remaining celebrities drawing inspiration from his or her “Most Memorable Year.” (By the way, your regular recapper, Michael Slezak, was on assignment interviewing Simon Cowell and L.A. Reid tonight, but he’ll be back on DWTS duty next week!)

Dance of the Night: J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff
Scores, schmores! Technically speaking, this particular rumba only tied for second place on the Judges’ Leaderboard, but J.R. transcended the dance and stole the night via the power, poignancy and sheer authenticity of his emotions. It was impossible not to be riveted by the way J.R. commanded the ballroom, and by the way he allowed his connection to the spirit of the song — “If You’re Reading This,” Tim McGraw’s stirring 2007 tribute to military families — to sweep him (and anyone with a heartbeat) away. Said Carrie Ann: “That was one of the most profound, honest dances I’ve ever seen.” Preach it, sister!

Runner-Up: Ricki Lake and Derek Hough
Fabulous performance and scores — their 27 topped the night — but is it me, or is the fabulous Ricki starting to look a tad like Demi Moore? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Worst of the Night: Nancy Grace and Tristan McManus
So what if Chaz and Lacey scored three points lower? And maybe this opinion means I have a stone-cold heart. Emotionally speaking, though, it was an impossible task for Nancy to follow immediately after J.R.’s tale of how his Humvee hit a land mine when he served as a U.S. army infantryman — even if Nancy wanted to do something “beautiful and magical” on the ballroom floor for her twin toddlers. The biggest problem, though, was the actual dancing. Carrie Ann called Nancy and Tristan’s waltz a “live-action lullaby” and I couldn’t agree more; it prompted immediate drowsiness and a desperate lunge toward a pillow — to bite!

Probably Will Go Home: Chaz Bono and Lacey Schwimmer
Patricia Arquette, Courteney Cox, and Kim Kardashian bringing added star power to the live audience this week prompted immediate fantasies of Chaz’s proud mama Cher glamming up the proceedings in the immediate future. (Like clockwork, guess who Tweeted during the show that she’d be there in-person next week — if Chaz survives, that is!). But alas, I think the chances are slim the uni-monikered diva will get the chance to show her son how to burlesque — or any other dance, for that matter.

Top 5 Lines of the Night
3a) “You put the boy in flamboyant.” –Len to Carson (was it the hot pink blazer, Len?)

3) “Maybe if I can nail this tango, all the dweebie kids who don’t get picked for any sports, maybe they’ll be like, ‘Hey, I can be a ballroom dancer, look at him!’” – Carson Kressley on being an inspiration.

2) “You sell it like a sexy b**ch, not like a big girl who’s used to doing this (pumps his fist over his head) in the locker room.” — Maksim to Hope, on how to incorporate her sex appeal into the cha cha cha.

1) “It’s a new video game.” –Tom’s timely response to Rob Kardashian’s quizzical ‘What’s Guys and Dolls?’ after Bruno referenced the classic musical as a compliment.

Judges’ Leaderboard (Carrie Ann, Len, Bruno: Total)
Ricki Lake and Derek Hough: 9, 9, 9: 27
Chynna Phillips and Tony Dovolani: 8, 9, 9: 26
J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff: 9, 8, 9: 26
Kristin Cavallari and Mark Ballas: 8, 8, 8: 24
Rob Kardashian and Cheryl Burke: 8, 8, 8: 24
Hope Solo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: 8, 8, 8: 24
David Arquette and Kym Johnson: 8, 8, 8: 24
Carson Kressley and Anna Trebunskaya: 8, 7, 8: 23
Nancy Grace and Tristan McManus: 7, 7, 7: 21
Chaz Bono and Lacey Schwimmer: 6, 6, 6: 18

What did you think of this week’s DWTS? Who was your favorite couple? Who do you think will and should go home? Sound off below! –Mitch Rustad

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Belloo says:

    Patricia Arquette?!!! Ummm, you mean DAVID Arquette, don’t you?!

  2. Belloo says:

    my bad…

    • Selbs says:

      DWTS is the best new comedy of the season. It is tooooooo painful to watch, however, after spending 2 amazing hours watching Ken Burns’ Prohibition on PBS, I clicked over to this foolish show just in time to see David Arquette. If he were camping it up, it would have gone to the leader board. Unfortunately, he was dead serious! The “judges”, if you can honestly call them that, all had orgasms praising his performance! I’m not quite sure I would use the term “stars” in the title of this show, because the pros are far more worth watching and rooting for.

  3. Tess says:

    What’s up with Len not wanting to give JR the credit he deserved for his Rumba? That dance deserved at least all 9’s if not 10’s (which I guess we’re not breaking out just yet because they finally realized it cheapens it when they start handing them out like candy on Halloween). I do wish the judges’ would get over their love of Derek so they can stop being so blinded by his choreography to really judge Ricki properly. Two weeks in a row now that JR has been slighted and she has topped the leaderboard when it should be the other way around.
    Between last week and this week I have gotten to the point where I cannot bother to watch the judges’ comments and scoring anymore. I am not sure whether they are watching the dancing or going with some script of who should place where in order to get a desired outcome. All 8’s to Rob (who’s rather stiff and boring), Kristen (take out the hair flips and Beyonce moves and you realize how much of a mess that dance really was; one of Mark’s worst choreos IMO), Hope (who messed up…and cannot do “sexy” to save her life), and David (just meh) putting them all just 3 points off the lead while Carson, who was entertaining as usual and actually did improve his technique, scored below them. Len gave those four couples the same score he gave JR – does this make any sense?
    I would be fine with giving Nancy the boot; she has stayed longer than most people thought she would coming in but I agree that it may be hard for Chaz to get the votes this week since people know he’s hurting and he isn’t up to the same caliber as most everyone else.

    • Steph says:

      Finally, someone who actaully shares my opinion of Derek. I don’t get why the judges are so in love with him (I liked him till they decided he could do no wrong). Last night while technically good I though Ricki lacked emotion. People might disagree but that is my opinion. I thought Chynna was better. Why not give Derek someone like Nancy Grace and THEN tell me he is as fabulous as you think he is. My favorite 3 were JR, then Chynna then Carson and not even just for entertainment factor, because he is what this show is about, learning to dance, getting better… Not being a ringer with and dancing with the judges pet.

      Oh and I am loving Tristan!!! More of him next season, yum!!

      • susela says:

        Derek is a fine, fine choreographer. He knows how to showcase his partner’s strengths and minimize her weaknesses, without over-dancing himself to compensate for his partner’s lack of skill. And his love of dance shines through his every performance. I love JR too, but Derek’s choreography is superior to Karina’s. (And don’t worry: JR will win this season.)

    • JoMarch says:

      I’m perplexed as to why people hate Derek so much that they huff and puff that the judges (who know more about dancing than they certainly do) are just so wrong about Derek. Why can’t the judges see , what they (the haters) in their infinite wisdom do, that Derek can’t dance, he’s a horrible choreographer and is probably the anti-christ. You folks make me laugh, you really do.

      • maryann says:

        I certainly don’t think Derek is the anti-christ and he is an excellent dancer and choreographer. But whether he is or he isn’t, he comes off as quite arrogant. Even though he has talent, that arrogance is quite irritating. A little humility goes a long way. Add to that, even if it’s not his fault, the fact that it’s clear he’s the judge’s pet, it makes him unlikable.

        • Karen says:

          Geez….Mark is 500 times more arrogant than Derek.
          And…..omg I can’t believe how the judges over-rate Kardashian. He’s so bad. He walks through the routine. Nothing flows. He does what he is told….stops..then proceeds with the next move. I will NOT miss this bozo when he goes.

  4. RS says:

    I didn’t get to watch most of it, but from what I saw, I’m happy Carson improved greatly. I do agree with you Tess about Nancy Grace. But it could be much worse. She could be dancing like Kate Gosselin did. Or like Master P did which was more of a foot shuffle. It’s a toss up right now, it could be Chaz or Nancy. Or they could blow our minds, and go with someone we least expected. They’ve done it before. Either way, I usually don’t tune in on the results until the last 5-10 minutes. I think the results shows are too drawn out. I could care less if a musical act is performing a song that you hear 80 billion times on the radio, or if the pros are shaking their assets in a dance routine that has nothing to do with the celebrities dancing in the competition. It’s about as important to the show, as interpretive dances were to awards shows. Why can’t they just keep it short and sweet ?

    • Kim R says:

      Haha! Yes…it could be another Kate Gosselin…I had to stop watching her when she was on…it almost ruined DWTS for me that season. :) I know it is only 3 weeks in but Nancy & Chaz seem to be..well….not so much the dancers. I do feel for Chaz & his knees but he is putting everything he has into it. I would not mind Nancy going home this week. Not my fave for sure.
      I am like you, I only tune into the last few minutes of the results show to see who leaves. Too drawn out & the episode before it. A half hour would be plenty of time to give us the results, not 2 hours!! :)

    • chistosa says:

      While I agree that Nancy and Chaz are the worst dancers, it is unfair to compare them to Kate Gosselin. First of all, she was so unpleasant and mean spirited to her partner. Nancy and Chaz are not in the least. Secondly, Kate never tried to do well. She complained and barely put any effort into any of the dances. At least Chaz and Nancy are trying. So the only thing they have in common is the poor dancing.

      • Anna says:

        I don’t know; as chaz is giving kate a run for her money with his whining.

      • Kim R says:

        Just to clarify, we were not comparing them TO Kate but we were saying thank goodness they were NOT like Kate…other than some lacking in their musicality there is no similarity. :)

  5. David says:

    JR is overrated. I want Ricki to win.

    • zoot says:

      I really want Chynna to win. I would like to see some other male pro besides the annoying Derek or Mark. I think Chynna is doing beautifully and Tony seems so happy! Would love Tony to hold that mirror ball

      • Steph says:

        I second that!!! Tony for the win… or as much as I hate to say it, Karina could win too, someone new and at least JR is a good dancer!

  6. Anna says:

    Time to stop making excuses for Chaz; he just isn’t that much of a dancer.

  7. Tommy says:

    I prefer watching people who can dance rather than people who are famous and can’t dance.

    • chistosa says:

      And yet when there are contestants on that can dance, they are criticized for being “ringers.”

      • Anna says:

        There’s a difference between J.R. and Chyna who have natural ability and those like Donny Osmond, Stacy Kiebler and Nicole Scherzinger; who have had intensive training.

  8. Joy Hodge says:

    Tired of watching the Monday show on Tuesday before the Results Show..How many times do I have to watch..I choose Tuesday nite and watched the amazing “Sing-Off” Show on Monday..but just Love DWTS..

  9. T.J. says:

    What about the “very special surprise guest” that Tom mentioned about 100 times last night? Nobody is speculating on who that might be? Could it be a “Mother” of a surprise? One who just happens to have an album coming out soon? Who else would gather so many mnetions from Tom?

    • Anna says:

      The person you’re talking about has offered to show up next week IF a certain competitor manages to stay in the competition.

  10. Tamara says:

    I actually like Nancy. Shes doing alot better than I expected. I agree Chaz doesn’t seem to care as much. And hope solo wasnt great I don’t think she’ll stay much longer. Rob is meh I think his score was too high. Ricki is overrated Jr is wayyy better

  11. Amber says:

    I do kind of think it should be Chaz that goes home tonight, but I say it will be Nancy Grace who’s sent packing.

    I would love to believe J.R. is going to take home the gold, but I’m having Gilles Marini flashbacks from all the criticism the judges are giving him despite him outperforming the others. Not that Ricki and Chynna haven’t been great, because they have. Even Kristin Cavallari is a contender, but I don’t think she can get enough audience votes to continue until the end. I say she has 2 or 3 more weeks left in her.

  12. vicki says:

    Here’s a fairly easy prediction. After Cher said she’d be there next week if Chaz is still on, there’s no way DWTS is letting him go. Since there are no cash prizes they don’t operate under the same legalities and scrutiny as most other competitions.

  13. Brian says:

    I’ve been wondering who Ricki Lake kept reminding Me of for the last three weeks watching this show and it dawned on Me how Strongly she is looking Like Demi Moore of 10 years ago. Kinda amusing and cool….