Coming to your TV screen this week are no less than 60 season and series premieres — that’s right, this is the time to change the oil in your DVR and the batteries in the clicker — so we’re changing things up a bit by going daily with The TVLine-Up. (For those who must plan ahead, here is our complete Fall TV premieres calendar, plus I’ll be summarizing what’s coming up the following day.)
But for now, here’s what’s happening on….
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 19:
8/7c Dancing With the Stars (ABC) | Season 13 kicks off with 12 new (varying degrees of) celebrities taking to the parquet. Here is how TVLine readers ranked the contenders, from “Thanks for stopping by!” to “Start thinking about where you’ll keep that ghastly trophy.”
8 pm The Sing-Off (NBC) | Like DWTS, this reality competition will also run two hours every Monday night. Nick Lachey will once again serve as host, while this year’s panel of judges will be populated by Sara Bareilles, Ben Folds and Shawn Stockman. Check out the 16 groups in contention.
8 pm How I Met Your Mother (CBS) | The new season launches with back-to-back episodes featuring a funky wedding and a sexy dance number (watch video). Get caught up on TVLine’s legendary amounts of scoop.
8 pm Hell’s Kitchen (Fox) | To make room for all of the fall debuts, some shows have to go bye-bye — as this cooking thing does with its two-hour Season 9 finale.
8 pm Eureka (Syfy) | The penultimate season’s finale features the Astraeus mission launch and the arrival of a new out-of-this-world threat to this Northwest burg.
9 pm Two and a Half Men (CBS) | Sheen out, Kutcher in — this we knew. But tonight, see how the swap happens. (Let’s just hope it doesn’t disrupt the show’s complex mythology too much.)
9:30 pm 2 Broke Girls (CBS) | This well-reviewed new sitcom, starring Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs, is getting a very special premiere here, leading out of Men. (It will normally air Mondays at 8:30.) Read my First Impression preview.
10 pm Castle (ABC) | The season of “explosive” secrets begins now. In case you missed it over the weekend, here’s a piece I did with that jokester Nathan Fillion; check TVLine after the premiere’s West Coast airing for a special something to help lift your jaw off the floor.
10 pm Hawaii Five-0 (CBS) | McGarrett’s in jail, but have no fear: John Locke (aka new cast member Terry O’Quinn) may hold the key to his freedom, as Steve’s Navy SEAL mentor. Watch the trailer here.
10 pm The Playboy Club (NBC) | Since offering my First Impression of this ’60s-set series, the pilot’s undergone some changes — largely for the better, I’d say, though I do miss the original, “Ewwww” version of the opening death scene. One thing that hasn’t changed: Tony winner Laura Benanti, as “mother bunny” Carol-Lynne, owns every damn scene she is in.
10 pm Roast of Charlie Sheen (Comedy Central) | Because not one joke has been made about the guy in the preceding eight months, right?
10 pm Fashion Police: The Primetime Emmy Awards (E!) | As long as Nina Dobrev is crowned Best Dressed, it’s all good.
Coming up on Tuesday: NCIS, Glee, The Biggest Loser…. NCIS: Los Angeles, New Girl (Fox), Raising Hope…. Body of Proof and Unforgettable (CBS).