The Bachelorette: The 5 Most Horrible Moments From a Truly Grotesque Episode

Bachelorette fans, I hope you all had access to Silkwood showers on Monday night. How else to scrub away the tawdriness, skeeziness, and international bad vibes that emanated from an incalculably wretched two-hour telecast?

Before we count down the episode’s five most horrible moments, I’ve got a couple questions to ask: First of all, if Bentley’s sole purpose for going on the Bachelor was to promote his business, why reveal his caddish intentions in his confessional interviews? (Unless, of course, his business is the College of Sociopathic Misogyny. Or scoring a spot on Bachelor Pad.) “I don’t care about Ashley,” he boasted. “I had the opportunity and I played everyone. It’s something that’s never been done before.” Un, congratulations?

And secondly, why in God’s green earth did Ashley agree to a group date in which her fame-hungry suitors took turns roasting her? I mean, it wouldn’t take a trained mental health professional to point out that when it comes to building a long-term romantic relationship, you shouldn’t be insisting your man get up in front of a crowd of strangers to mock your small breasts and deepest insecurities, right?

Ah well, at least we got a moment of comic relief when the Masked Suitor revealed his face — while some evil-genius editor played organ music and interspersed images of a preening hawk and a squirrel nibbling on a cracker. Ashley’s unfiltered initial response? “He’s a lot older than I thought he was.”

And now, let’s get to my picks for the episode’s five worst moments (Ashley’s low-rent, silver sequined minidress from the rose ceremony just missed the cut):

5. Cell phone salesman William finally revealed his true romantic loyalties when he discovered an actual famous person would be participating in the Bachelorette roast. “If I could impress Jeffrey Ross, it could open up the door for me to do my dream,” squealed William, as he justified going nuclear on Ashley, even going so far as to label her “used” goods. Did anyone else get a hearty chuckle at William’s total cluelessness in thinking he could parlay a 60-second bit on a reality dating show into the chance to “roast famous celebrities” in just a few months’ time?

4. I know Ashley said her rack was fair game, but there was something deeply uncomfortable hearing at least four of the bachelors aim their insults directly at her chest. “Get out your cell phone to donate to the Ashley boob fund!” chuckled William. “Ashley, I just picked up your t**, sorry,” said “Zorro’s unemployed brother,” in a “joke” that I still haven’t figured out.

3. True confessions time: I did not feel an ounce of sympathy for Ashley as she sat and wept at the back of the comedy club. Hey, you can’t douse yourself in gasoline prior to a candlelight dinner, then blame the restaurant if you go up in flames reaching for a roll. Even worse, it was clear Ashley was sulking for the sole purpose of getting her pack of gentlemen to lavish her with praise. Girlfriend had zero interest when the Masked Suitor revealed he’d “adopted a three-legged dog that was abused,” but oh how her face lit up when Ryan P. said she was the rejected bachelorette he most wanted to date. (p.s. If Ashley was going to chastise William for anything, it should’ve been for his failure to score a single decent laugh during his routine.)

2. Okay, so maybe Ashley shouldn’t have been throwing around the L word about Bentley after being warned at the start of the season he was “not in it for the right reasons” and prior to having a single one-on-one date with the guy. But still, I wanted to put Mark Ruffalo’s skeevy stunt double in a bag and hurl him repeatedly against the wall watching him get off on hurting a woman’s feelings. “I’m gonna make Ashley cry,” laughed Bentley. “I hope my hair looks okay.” And later, he shared his burdens in a confessional setting: “It’s annoying to hold a girl that’s just crying and crying and crying.” For a guy who professes to adore his daughter Cozy — I know, I know, if you love someone you don’t name them Cozy in the first place, but still… — Bentley’s got an interesting view about how to treat women.

1. The absolute low point of an episode that represented a low point for the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise? After a sobbing Ashley wrapped her legs around Bentley’s waist and hugged him goodbye, her creepy anti-suitor shared with the viewing audience that he realized they were in a “great position to start something really good.”

What did you think about Monday’s installment of The Bachelorette? Did you end up like Ashley, sobbing uncontrollably into your mauve bedding? Or did you find yourself yelling “YES” when our heroine tearfully asked, “Was I wrong about everything?” Sound off in the comments, and for all my reality recaps, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Erin says:

    Based on what I’ve read, the Bachelor/Bachelorette doesn’t get to say yes or no to the dates the producers create, so I don’t think that Ashley had a hand in the Roast. Keeping in mind that this is an insecure 26 year old, I can understand why it took a compliment from one of the guys to get a smile out of her after her self esteem had just taken an extensive public beating. Also, maybe she didn’t care what Jeff said because she wasn’t into him and she was into Ryan?

    Not that it matters anyway, because JP is adorable and she should just call it quits now and pick him.

    • Shel says:

      I’m in total agreement…the producers set up the most outlandish circumstances to bring the drama. And William’s roast was downright cruel. The only think I give him credit for is realizing he was a total for what he did…if he genuinely felt bad and learns from it, then I do give him credit. But it was still a rotten thing to do–forget the person that you’re dating has feelings because you’re so wrapped up in your shot at being a comedian.

      I like Ryan P…I think he’s the guy that Bentley was pretending to be. And JP was sweet too. And I honestly hope Bentley has practically no custody of his daughter; a man who treats women like that shouldn’t raise kids, much less daughters.

  2. jewels says:

    Is this show still on?

    • Bob Frapples says:

      No. You just dreamed that you took 30 seconds out of your day to post on a recap of “The Bachelorette.” Go back to sleep.

  3. GeorgiaPat says:

    I felt alternately outraged and uncomfortable. It was like an evening with Charlie Sheen. I hadn’t watched in several years, and regret that I did.

  4. Meagan says:

    That was the most uncomfortable two hours of TV I’ve ever watched.. I was yelling at the TV the whole time. Ashley was acting like a dope..but like my mom said, there are guys like Bentley everywhere. Just not on TV. I just wish she had realized this sooner. And I am SO GLAD Chris Harrison told her like it is before the rose ceremony.

    • susela says:

      Excuse me? Chris Harrison had known for weeks what this guy was like and told her exactly nothing. Plus, as an executive producer on the show, he had a hand in ensuring that all of Bentley’s vile insults were actually aired. Chris has done just as much as Bentley to publicly humiliate this girl, and should be ashamed of himself.

      • Jamie says:

        Exactly! Chris is just as bad as Bentley as far as I’m concerned.

      • Shel says:

        Exactly! Chris Harrison is one of the most manipulative people I’ve seen on TV (toss up with Bentley). First, he convinces Ashley that she ‘absolutely loved Brad’ and then convinces her that she can ‘absolutely move past this.’ Whatever gets ratings, I guess…

        • tripoli says:

          Chris actually did warn her before she even met Bentley. She was given the option to not even meet him in the first place, but declined that option. Not that Chris Harrison is a saint or anything, but he did attempt to spare her to some degree. Can’t have a lot of sympathy for her when she was warned by multiple people that the guy was no good and chose to ignore the warnings.

        • Eolra says:

          If Ashley is so easily “convinced” about who she is or isn’t in love with by television producers with an obvious ratings agenda, then she’s an even bigger idiot then I originally thought. No sympathy for her at all. This is a TV show, not a psychiatrist’s couch.

  5. Katie says:

    I was appalled by the way Bentley treated her and the things he said. I don’t know who said he looked good, because he’s far from that. Why Ashley would fall for him so quickly is a joke and tells me a lot about her. If Ashley would realize that she is a beautiful girl and stop comparing herself to Emily, who is also beautiful, she may have a chance for love. I only see two guys that seem to be in for the right reasons. Good luck Ashley figuring that out.

    Bentley, good luck with your trampoline business. Anyone who gives him a chance is asking for it. Ladies, run if you see him. Btw, your hair looked like crap Bentley.

    • Meg says:

      Not to give him props or anything (because he doesn’t deserve it at all, but honestly, I’ll bet at least half of the guys on this show feel exactly the way Bentley says he does. He’s the only one who publicly states it and makes a show of it. In fact, I’ll bet that every season half the “contestants” are that way and just don’t admit to it.

  6. Jake says:

    Seriously, these shows are nothing but trash. The people that participate give a whole new meaning to “DESPERATE”.

    • Nicole says:

      I’m not usually one to bother commenting on a show I don’t watch, but I feel like when you watch a show with a premise of desperate people seeking fame pretending (to themselves or others or both) to fall in love after ‘dating’ someone in a completely unnatural setting for a matter of weeks, it seems kind of insane to then complain about how offensive a particular episode is.

      The entire premise of this show is offensive and nothing about it is real and while this sounds like a particularly uncomfortable episode, the concept in and of itself should make people uncomfortable. This, by the way, is not a slam aimed only at the Bachelorette/Bachelor franchise, but 90% of reality television.

      If people stopped watching these shows the networks would stop airing them and start paying for more scripted programming again (or more quality reality-based programming, like non-exploitative docu-series’ – non-exploitative would eliminate trash like Kate Plus 8 and Teen Mom, for example). Also, maybe the Kardashians, Snookies and Paris’ of the world would fade away.

      • Linda says:

        Oh I totally agree with you!!! Such crap on TV these days!!

      • lynn says:

        Agree!! The ONLY REASON “reality” TV is all over the place is because these are “no name” people willing to try for 15 minutes of fame. And yes…. someone PLEASE TELL OUR YOUTH that Jersey Shore, Laguna Beach, 16 and pregnant, Mean Girls, Maury, Jerry Springer, etc. are not the “glamourous” lifestyles TV producers and EDITING staff make it out to be. These shows don’t show you what REALLY goes on… STD check-ups, pregnancy scares, damaged livers, lack of common sense, tv viewers catagorizing you as a “slut, fat ass, baby, drunk, skank, potential rape victim and more. And “the real housewives of…. ” – PLEASE get a life and less liposuction.

      • Eolra says:

        Speak for yourself – I *LIKE* reality TV. I don’t try to force the networks to cancel your precious “quality” scripted programming, so lay off mine. You don’t have to watch it – just change the channel. Why on earth are you even wasting your time commenting on a reality TV article – don’t you have anything better to do with your time? Live and let live, man.

  7. bethany0403 says:

    Wow, wow and WOW. That’s all I kept saying as I was watching this amazing trainwreck. I just don’t get Bentley’s angle. How will treating a pathetic, sad, and desperate girl like Ashley like garbage get him anywhere? What is this doing for him? Unfortunately, I have feeling this season is going to be lame city with him gone.

    The producers must really hate Ashley. First they allow all this Bentley crap on (they could edit his statement differently) and then they roast the most insecure Bachellorette of all time. Just evil. Mike Fliess is as evil as Bentley.

  8. Chuck says:

    If you have that thin a skin, don’t agree to be roasted. No sympathies here.

  9. Michelle says:

    Is this really what television has come to? I’ve never watched an episode of any of these shows and based on this, I never will.

  10. Michael A says:

    It sounds like compelling, can’t turn away TV!! Ashely unfortunately is never going to find happiness. You have to love yourself before others can truly love who you are.

  11. Jonathon says:

    It’s hard to hate the “bad guys” in the Bachelorette and Bachelor shows. They add so much entertainment. I’m sure women who take this show seriously disagree – but in my mind “Rated R” in Ali’s season rocked, and now Bentley probably surpasses him. It’s not that I like jerks – it’s just that they treat the whole show like the big joke that it is. Bentley “played everybody” – and as a result showed how ridiculous the whole concept of the show is. I’m surprised the show kept him on, because he’s essentially turned the whole thing on its side. Of course, they probably don’t care – all they care about are the ratings.

    In fact, I feel like Bentley is so over the top (why would ANYONE go on national tv to act like a complete jerk so that a good percentage of females in the country will hate him) that I have to wonder what his incentives are. You call that promoting a business? Have to wonder if the show had a hand in this….

    • Linda says:

      Could you imagine how totally boring this show would be if they didn’t have jerks like Bentley on? It would be a snoozefest!! The Bachelor/Bachelorette shows would have died after the first few seasons because each show would be identical and fewer and fewer people would be watching. The producers have to pick quirky and eccentric (and I use this term lightly) candidates for these shows otherwise…zzzzzzzz!!!

    • kat says:

      I totally agree one thousand percent. I never watch, but I did last night just because of the commercials with this jackass. I watched the first of Ali because of Craig and rated R, they make all the other guys act like little girls (oh that weatherman lady jonathon was the worst). Usually I wait for the encore the next weekend to record it if everyone was freaking out that it was horrible. But this girl is pathetic! And the guys are just as bad. They want the pathetic girl to like them most of all. Bentley was an ass, for sure, but she was ridiculous. How long had she known him? Seriously? And to fall for the guy you were warned about. More pathetic. I just wish they had kept him longer. Does he really even have a kid? Scary. I always wonder where they tell their kids they are when they go to live with a bunch of dudes and be on tv to get them a new mommy. The show was loving it. i just wish he had told her the whole thing…

  12. TamIAm says:

    All this episode did was highlight and reinforce the fact that Ashley is far too immature to be ready for marriage. This is the first season I’ve tuned in to the beginning part of The Bachelorette – usually I jump on the bandwagon during the final two episodes. If this is similar to prior seasons, I realize I haven’t been missing much.

    “And secondly, why in God’s green earth did Ashley agree to a group date in which her fame-hungry suitors took turns roasting her?” – Uhhh, for the same reasons she would fake-plan a wedding in Vegas and consider the awkardness that ensued her best first date ever.

  13. Andy says:

    Anyone on here who doesn’t see what Bentley was doing is a moron… he’s not trying to score overweight middle-aged Bachelor viewers… he’s trying to score super hot reality-seeking skanks who will LOVE the challenge of wooing him and “changing him”… Girls are morons like that… always falling for the d-bag, even against their better judgement. Bentley ain’t no dummy… he’ll get laid plenty after this season… and it’ll be with women with far bigger breasts.

    Case in point – Wes?? Remember him? and how he scored the attached at the time Gia? Score.

  14. susela says:

    What really made me squirm was watching Bentley manipulate Ashley so cruelly as he said goodbye. Touching her, hugging her, kissing her neck, all the while assuring the viewer that he’s just not attracted to her. His “great position to start something good” line left me suspecting that he has screwed many a girl in more ways than one as he’s breaking up with her. And that “dot, dot, dot” crap! Oh, my, what a skeeve.

  15. Wendy says:

    Michael Slezak, you are my hero, and I will follow you almost anywhere, but there is no way in h@@l I can watch any more of this swill. I’m only so sad and so sympathetic that you will be forced to (not enough money in the world). I will lovingly read every word you have to say about SYTYCD and other things, but trully enough is enough.

  16. Christine says:

    I’ve never watched a full season of The Bachelor/Bachelorette before, but I decided to give this season a shot. What a mistake. This show is so fake, it makes the Real Housewives look like a gritty documentary! When Ashley was hugging Bentley goodbye, she clearly wasn’t talking, but the show spliced in snippets of her saying things like “how am I going to do this now?” UGH.

  17. MK204 says:

    I’m sure that when the Bachelor or Bachelorette sign on the dotted line, they are told, like the American Idol contestants, that everything is fair game. So in that respect, I think that some of the dates, like the Roast, are planned way ahead of time. I mean men of that age are still immature and seriously I have always thought that these contestants should at least all be in their 30’s. Not that everyone in their 30s are necessarily more mature, but a women who is 24 can still be pretty naive when it comes to a good looker.

    Now on to Bently. I personally would have kicked him off first thing. I don’t think he’s all that cute. His hair looks like something out of Betsy Ross’ era and that tan plaid shirt he wore reminded me of the puffy shirt on Seinfeld.

    If I were “in” with the producers, I would tell them…seriously people…that kind of guy is really NOT FUN to watch. The claim they don’t know about this at the beginning, yet they play up the guy’s misogyny to the hilt. I understand they want drama, but when a show lacks so much integrity it really is no longer fun to watch. This show just made American Idol look like the most up front legit show on TV. Now THAT is bad.

    I don’t particularly think Ashley is the sharpest tool in the shed. I wasn’t thrilled to learn she would be the new Bachelorette. Her voice and her personality grate on my nerves. I think she’s self absorbed. I agree that the sequined dress was cheap looking and the fact that she leaves her shirt buttons open til almost her bare breasts is also cheap and cheesy.

    Interesting how Emily’s name always comes up. Didn’t Brad do the same thing? Just fall in love with those beautiful blondes guys. You see how wonderful Brad’s relationship turned out.

    Puts me in mind of the song by Elvis. “Now and then there’s a fool such as I.” I think that was Elvis.


  18. julie says:

    I flipped the remote passed the Bachelorette twice last night, for less than a minute each, and BOTH times I got to hear the phrase “spend the rest of my life with her” spoken in a rote tone by some bland male face. I apologized to the reality TV gods and went back to Law and Order. Apparently though, I missed the real sociopathy.

  19. JM says:

    I never watched the Bach/Bachette until the Jake P. season. I knew last season after a couple of episodes that Brad was gonna pick Emily which was gonna end in disaster. Those 2 didn’t belong together! Then they announce Ashley as the Bachette. Why? Why did TPTB think viewers would want to watch another season of someone with such a hugh insecurity issue? To Ashley’s credit at the beginning she made it appear she could handle it. The roast was just a stupid idea. There are plenty of other ways to get laughs. She was warned about Bentley. Falling for B. was way to quick. IMO he was like “forbidden fruit” to her & she was going to have it! Now for Bentley..he is undoubtedly one if not the biggest loser asshole I have seen on TV or otherwise. What he did was just plain mean & really showed he has no respect or human decency. I don’t want to give him ANY more press except to say I hope he has to use arthritis strength lotion on his hands from now on!!

  20. Ken The Great says:

    I still can’t get over the way that ass clown Randy treated Haley. She deserved so much better. And how about that catty biotch Jennifer? She was so out to get her the whole time it was obvious. Also, I don’t care what Nigel says, it’s obvious he was doing everything in his power to sabotage Haley from Day One. So proud of how she fought back like a lioness, and shoved it in their smug faces in the end.

    Wait, we are talking about the same show, right…

  21. jef says:

    Not into this show this season when I heard they had chosen the dentist. Looks like they have made this the meanest season yet.

  22. HaleyRhinehartFan says:

    As Michael Slezack mentioned in his fist article. Bently wss possibly paid by ABC to be the bad boy.

    It’s all a set up guys, and my hope is that it was also rquested by the ABC Brass that Ashley play into loving Bently so much (A man she hardly knew) …boo hoo.
    Then again, Ashley displayed a great since of emotional bad judgement when she gave a rose to the mobile phone salesman from Ohio who crucified her on stage. Come on Ashley, you made it through pre-med school. I hate that I am witnessing you choose bad boys because as you proclaimed on this B rate show, your father was an alcoholic

  23. Dame Juliana says:

    From day one of the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise, the shows have got it wrong in, oh, soooooo many ways! It just amazes me how they can continue to find new lows. And I don’t even watch the shows – just the last two or three minutes waiting for the 10 o’clock news to come on. And still that is long enough to reveal, sadly, how people are looking for “love” in all the wrong places…

  24. Sherimoonzombie says:

    I think honorable mention should be the asshat blaming his early exit on his daughter. What a ball-less wonder.

    But the saddest thing of all is Ashley’s low self esteem. Falling for Bentley even after the warnings, assuming the guys were disappointed it wasn’t Emily, and wondering if Ben C “can fall in love with her”, rather than the other way around. Wow, that is painful to watch.

  25. Buffy Freak says:

    I feel sorry for women this kind of stuff happens to in real life. I don’t have any sympathy at all for some delusional, desperate, fame whore who goes on reality TV to find “love”.

    • Eolra says:

      Yeah, but at the same time, haven’t we all liked some douchey dude (who wasn’t that into us) a little too much, too quickly? I feel bad for her in the way I feel bad for my own personal past 24-year-old self, who didn’t know any better either, and who still thought “playing games” was intriguing…

  26. Marie says:

    OK … am I the only one who saw the poop fly out of the back end of that ‘preening’ Hawk? And the squirrel left it’s own little ‘gift’ as it ran away …. I thought THAT was GREAT television! Kudos!

  27. Stephanie says:

    The zorros unemployed brother thing was aimed towards jeff because he had the whole mask thing…just clearing things up:)