America's Got Talent: The Three Best Auditions from the Season 6 Premiere

The enduring popularity of America’s Got Talent is as mysterious to me as the continued production of Miracle Whip, the science of making airplanes take flight, and the fact that Snooki’s Italian car accident was covered on actual “news” programs over the last 48 hours. (I mean…) But then again, what the heck do I know? My colleague Matt Webb Mitovich reports that a whopping 15 million people tuned in Tuesday night to experience two hours of Nick Cannon aggressively pulling faces, sweaty wannabes juggling badly, old dudes rocking diapers (seriously), and Piers Morgan doing his darndest to convince us Simon Cowell never left American television screens.

Anyhow, since it looks as though AGT is going to be a key discussion topic at Bingo Night this week — and because I’m paid to invest far too deeply in the world of reality television — I took two hours of my life Tuesday night and hopped aboard the AGT Express. Spoiler alert: I didn’t hate everything! In fact, I’m going to go ahead and count down my three favorite auditions from the season premiere (complete with video!):

3) Vegas Birds: I know, I know…it’s a lady and a talking parrot. But I dare you not to gasp when that green feathered beast correctly identifies Lady Bird’s fowl impersonation! (Bonus: In the Vegas round, we might get to see a psychic parrot, and one that performs magic!)

2) Ryan Andreas: Dude was more nervous than Sarah Palin at a Katie Couric Fan Club meeting, but the tone of his voice on Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel” was smoky and ethereral. As Howie pointed out, Ryan’s performance was perhaps “even more haunting” than the original, which is all the more impressive considering the guy never peerformed in front of an audience before.

1) Team iLuminate: Let me not give anything away about this marriage of choreography and technology. Just press play and enjoy.

What did you think of the AGT Season 6 premiere? What were your favorite and least favorite auditions? And have we already seen the eventual winner? Sound off below, and for all my reality TV news and recaps, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV!