Coming to your screen this week: Nine series premieres, six season openers, three finales, two major sporting events, and a pair of rewatch-worthy comedy repeats. As but a supplement to the awesome features and original reporting TVLine has coming your way, here are 30 programs to keep on your radar.
MONDAY, MAY 30
9 pm Single Ladies (VH1) | Exec-produced by Queen Latifah, VH1’s first foray into scripted drama programming stars Stacey Dash (Clueless), LisaRaye McCoy (All Of Us) and Charity Shea (The Best Years) as a Carrie, Samantha and Miranda, Atlanta-style.
9 pm Law & Order: CI (NBC) | The “final” season kicks off.
10 pm Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition (ABC) | Series premiere: “Move… that… butt!”
10 pm Breakout Kings (A&E) | Season finale: When the queen of a drug cartel breaks free — and stays free — while being chaperoned to a funeral, the team comes to suspect there’s a mole amongst them.
10 pm Hard Times of R.J. Berger (MTV) | In back-to-back eps closing Season 2, R.J. tries to tell Amy how he feels, then vies with Max for a school honor.
10 pm Platinum Hit (Bravo) | Let’s call this one “Project Runway with songwriters.” Jewel and Kara “Reporters, Please Don’t Ask Me About Idol, It’s All In My Book” DioGuardi judge.
TUESDAY, MAY 31
8 pm America’s Got Talent (NBC) | Host Nick Cannon and judges Sharon Osbourne, Piers Morgan and Howie Mandel all return for Season 6. Think Lee DeWyze will get asked on-stage for this one?
9 pm NBA Finals, Game 1 (ABC) | Can the Mavs take the Heat? If not, they should get out of the kitchen! I’m here all week.
9:30 Traffic Light (Fox) | In the series finale, Daryl “Chill” Mitchell — formerly of Brothers — shows up to tell this Fox comedy’s cast how it’s gonna be.
10 pm Love Handles: Couples In Crisis (Lifetime) | Series premiere: Overweight couples attempt to lick issues that are heavy both literally and emotionally.
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 1
8 pm NHL Stanley Cup Finals, Game 1 (NBC) | I don’t think the Lakers are winning this title either.
9 pm Franklin & Bash (TNT) | Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Raising the Bar) and Breckin Meyer (Road Trip) are brash young lawyers who get recruited to join Malcolm McDowell’s tony firm. Yes, M-PG’s hair is better this time around.
9 pm Haunted Collector (Syfy) | Demonologist John Zaffis and his family of paranormal investigators track down haunted antiques, then stow them away for safe keeping — presumably next to the Ark of the Covenant?
9 pm Mythbusters (Discovery) | Adam and Jamie, perhaps having watched The Matrix one too many times, test to see if a human can dodge a bullet — by SHOOTING. AT. EACH. OTHER.
9 pm Modern Family (ABC) | Repeat reco No. 1: Phil is vexed by a nagging smoke detector, while Claire and Haley get wrapped up in a big misunderstanding.
9:30 pm Cougar Town (ABC) | Repeat reco No. 2: Jennifer Aniston guests as Jules’ hinky shrink.
10 pm Men of a Certain Age (TNT) | I’ve decided to check this series out this season, even at the risk of overidentifying with the subject matter. Won’t you join me?
10 pm The World According to Paris (Oxygen) | The celebutante assured me (photo proof!) that this show will give you “the real Paris Hilton” — unlike her previous TV ventures or that night-vision sex vid.
THURSDAY, JUNE 2
8:30 pm National Spelling Bee (ESPN) | Don’t be, like, all Laodicean and blow this off. It’s good sport!
10 pm Love Bites (NBC) | A year plus two weeks to the day that NBC revealed this rom-com anthology series as part of their fall 2010 schedule… here it is. Hopefully, the Judge Ito jokes hold up. Becki Newton (Ugly Betty) stars.
Midnight Children’s Hospital (Adult Swim) | Who said Lisa Edelstein isn’t playing doctor anymore? Why, she’s right here, guest-starring on the Season 3 premiere!
FRIDAY, JUNE 3
8 pm Flashpoint (CBS) | A delusional man takes a diner hostage.. but the Vincent and Jules show up with that glowy briefcase.
9 pm Whale Wars (Animal Planet) | Season premiere: Capt. Watson’s latest bid to thwart the Japanese whaling biz is stymied by a fuel leak and an injury to Bob Barker. Sorry, an injury aboard the Bob Barker.
9 pm | Wild Things (Cinemax) | Talk about a champagne room.
SATURDAY, JUNE 4
7 pm X-Men (FX) | As the prequel X-Men: First Class hits theaters, see how Mystique evolved from Katniss to John Stamos’ ex-wife.
SUNDAY, JUNE 5
9 pm MTV Movie Awards | Jason Sudeikis (SNL) hosts this tribute to rather silly categories scientifically engineered to elicit teenage catcalls.
9 pm Game of Thrones (HBO) | Coming off last night’s pivotal outing, Robb preps for war with Tywin Lannister; Jon clashes with drill instructor Thorne; and Tyrion finds an unlikely alliance.
10 pm The Real L Word (Showtime) | Season 2 premiere: Can a mostly new cast heavy breathe life into this reality series?
10 pm The Glades (A&E) | Season 2 premiere: Jim (Matt Passmore) must solve the murder of a Cuban gangster’s daughter, lest an all-out mob war erupt.
10 pm The Killing (AMC) | Sarah’s son Jack goes missing. But why, when he is so well attended to?!
11 pm Teen Wolf (MTV) | Tyler Posey takes the baton from Michael J. Fox, playing a lycanthrope lad named Scott who has a buddy named Stiles. And that, in today’s angsty, twisty Twilight Diaries age, is where the similarities end.