How Would You Reboot Two and a Half Men? (Without Changing the Title, That Is)

The facts are these: Two and a Half Men‘s main man, Chuck Lorre, is vested in keeping the show going by any means possible — and most definitely sans Charlie Sheen.

“Chuck Lorre is fighting to keep the show alive without the star it was originally created for,” a source told The Daily Beast last week. The Hollywood Reporter is now echoing that sentiment, saying that Lorre has presented close associates and Men costar Jon Cryer with “a new creative direction” that will subtract Charlie Harper from the mix but keep Alan, Jake et al caught up in comedic capers for at least another season to come.

As told to THR by an insider, Lorre assured Cryer that the reboot “would involve a significant role for him, and the introduction of a new, yet-to-be-cast character.”

WB Lawyers to Sheen: Stop Pretending You’re In Talks to Rejoin Two and a Half Men

Lest anyone think Lorre might steer TV’s most watched sitcom in a very new direction — one perhaps ill-fitting the show’s current title — a studio source tells TVLine that by hook or by crook, Two and a Half Men will keep that name should it move forward. After all, unless the Valerie of Valerie’s Family just up and leaves, name-changes are a risky proposition, even more so for a long-running series such as Men.

Is Charlie Sheen ‘Winning’…. Or Begging for Work?

So what do you think Chuck Lorre has up his sleeve? The official word on Men likely will be handed down by the time CBS holds its annual upfront presentation on May 19, so the time to speculate is now. Will Charlie go on the lam for heaven knows what, freeing up his room to be occupied by, say, a cad cousin? Will Jake be “promoted” to full “Man” status, allowing for a new young’un — maybe Alan has a not-legit kid out there? — to enter the nest?

Share your reboot theory in comments!

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116 Comments
  1. Jonathan says:

    The Harpers dont have a crazy cousin somewhere?
    its that simple
    charlie leaves and his cousin moves in
    done

    • Matt Webb Mitovich says:

      Can we name the cousin Oliver? We kinda sorta have to, right?

    • Fearless says:

      Johnny Depp in his Jack Sparrow / Keith Richards persona !!!!!

    • John Swendrowski says:

      We known for years the Charlie Harper’s mother Evelyn had been married several times. So lets say Charlie one night of drinking coming back from the strip club was in a single car accident and died end of his character. Evelyn later consulting with Alan confides to him, that of a one night of role playing and several drinks she has a one night stand. Later finding out she is pregnant and gives the child up. the suprise is that Alan and Charlie have another step brother and it’s Dave Chapelle. I gave it my best shot.

  2. ZR says:

    jake should have a kid

    • Linda says:

      That was the thought that was going through my mind when reading this. Bump Jake up to full man status and he’s got an ilegitmate kid by Celeste, since they are broken up and he would not have seen her for a while.

  3. MB says:

    Rose calls Alan to tell him that her and Charlie are staying in Paris. Rose also tells Alan that her brother who was suppose to come stay with her is now going to have to stay with Alan and Jake since Rose is in Paris. Welcome to your new show and it only took five minutes of screen time.

  4. Renee says:

    My choice Christian Slater has a show now, but he could have even rented a room. Heck I don’t know. I’m not a writer.

  5. Vickie says:

    I would have Charlie take off on an around the world cruise with a bunch of young, doctor enhanced strippers and then drop off the face of the earth. Occasionally there would be a news report or sighting played for laughs. In the meantime, a love child he knew nothing about (some really gorgeous 20 something) would show up at the door looking for his dad. Alan takes him in and tries to keep him from turning into Charlie while trying to manage Jake at the same time. I’d move Berta into the house and up Judith & Herb’s roles.

  6. UKO says:

    Charlie dies. His will leaves his house to a random crazy person he met in a bar (Dennis Leary or Andy Dick type), but stipulates Alan and Jake can stay, and they keep the housekeeper. How well this would work depends on the casting of the crazy…

  7. Kelon says:

    Sheen’s character must leave for closure. I would place him in a elevator with a very large “dyke on bike” type girl… elevator plummets to his demise.
    Enter his long lost uncle (Robin Williams) for a few episodes to transition into a new young talent. A brother from either “cheating mom or cheating dad”… who is somewhat like the same but can set the show into a different path.
    Jokes abound concerning his demise and character (or lack thereof).

  8. Janine says:

    This is a horrible idea. I am a huge Men fan, but I do not want to see the show attempt to reboot and go on without Charlie Sheen. The whole ocncept of Alans character is that he is a mooch, how does that work with Charlie gone? And the kid has hardly had any decent storylines in recent years, so I really don’t see him suddenly holding a leading role. IMO they should just do one more episode. and it should be this (keep in mind that in the last episode before the show went off, Charlie left with Rose for England)
    Charlie is in some sort of car accident on the way to the airport, and he died. The finale could center around his funeral and could bring back all of the memorable characters and guest stars who have been on in the past (chelsea, mia, etc). It could be a funny closing episode as well as a final dig at Sheen.

  9. Robert says:

    After years of partying and heavy drinking, Charlie goes nuts so his mother, brother and nephew have him committed. In his absence, Alan (Jon Cryer) can’t afford to pay the mortgage so they get a roommate played by Peter Dinklage. The show is rechristened: One and Two Half-Men!

    • Lolie says:

      This is the funniest thing I’ve read yet—I vote for this one! (He’s an angry elf!)

    • larry says:

      excellent!

    • Cathy says:

      Peter’s awesome, so that’s a great idea!

    • Liam says:

      Funny idea! Offensive title.

    • Chris says:

      That is the worst Idea I have heard ever. I think they should do this have Charlie’s character die on a plane crash and Evelyn receives a phone call while at work from someone who is claiming to be her son from an affair. The son is played by Woody Harrelson and hes needing a place to crash because he just went through a nasty divorce (no kids) so she agrees to meet him and she introduces him to Alan and Alan agrees to let Woody stay there. Only to find out that he is super wealthy made his money in the dot com era.

  10. Robby says:

    Bring Ryan Stiles on full-time and call it done.

    • Ashley says:

      Agreed. More Ryan Stiles is always a good thing :)

      • Polly says:

        Agreed. I proposed this, as soon as Sheen started #winning :D
        Jon Cryer new lead, Ryan Stiles full time wingman and all is solved.

        • Ryan says:

          Yes. Totally.

          Have Herb leave Judith and move in with Alan and Jake.

          Maybe set the next season a several months later.
          Charlie and Rose ran off in the middle of the night to somewhere (or something like that) and Charlie left a note saying “Out with Rose. Be back later. -Charlie”, and that was several months before the new season started. So, essentially being next-of-kin to Charlie, Alan ‘takes over’ the house and Herb moves in with them, Alan moving to Charlie’s room (after burning the bed) and Herb takes Alan’s room.

          And we’d keep Berta around, as she is still on Charlie’s payroll.

    • Nadine says:

      Yes! Ryan Stiles is awesome!

  11. Bob says:

    How about Charlie dies and leaves everything to his 30 year old son who acts the same as daddy?
    How about a season of Colin Farrell – it would be well worth it for his payday

  12. Jason says:

    Okay here is my reboot idea.

    So it is explained that after multiple years of sex with loose women and over drinking Charlie just kicked the bucket. At the funeral a person who looks like Charlie Sheen or Jon Cryer pays his respects and comes up to Jon Cryer and hands him a letter. John Cryer reads the letter after the funeral, it’s his brother. The season is spent getting to know the brother. Here’s where the funny comes in during the process, Charlie left all his money to the kid. The kid goes crazy with power and treats his dad the way charlie sheen used to.

    mmmeeennnn!

    • Lola says:

      I agree with this one. Charlie kicks the bucket and leaves everything to Jake who has now fallen back asswards into $$ the way Charlie always did. Alan has to mooch off Jake, Jake becomes a womanizer – tons of hilarity ensues. Sure hire another man to move into the house with them – a cousin or Herb or whomever. Jon Crier is so funny we won’t miss Charlie Sheen.

  13. HeresANiche says:

    Charlie dies. Also, we learn that he had a son with one of his hookups. The child inherits the house as next of kin and becomes the new 1/2 man being raised by Alan and Jake. The best part of this is that Jon Cryer gets more airtime.

  14. M says:

    Two words: Peter Dinklage

  15. Elizabeth says:

    I think Rose should kidnap Charlie.

    The new man is Judith’s current husband who gets thrown out.

  16. Matt says:

    I know the show is Two and a Half Men but a pesky female version of charlie could be funny.

  17. OldNo.7 says:

    Simple. Judith divorces Herb (Ryan Stiles), takes him for everything he’s worth (just like she did Alan); Ryan moves into Charlie & Alan’s after Charlie [fill-in-the-blank].

  18. Ed says:

    Charlie dies, and one of Alans friends is going through a hard time and moves in with them.

    Or Alan and Jake move to a new city, after Alan gets a better job?

  19. Camillus says:

    Emilio Estevez

  20. Chris says:

    Surely the best option is Herb. Have him break up with Judith and move him into the house

  21. Dee says:

    Kill off Charlie and show Alan inheriting everything and living like he was rich. He will, of course, blow through the money quite fast.

  22. TheFisch-ster! says:

    I think Charlie “Tiger’s Blood” Sheen should be replaced by Michael J Fox (Spin City Style) or Billy Baldwin (The Alec wannabee) or Emilio (His real brother)!

    Plain and simple!

    We need a sad but funny story line where Charlie crashes his car after a drinking & sex binge and has to be hospitalized for facial lacerations and then…we don’t even know who they hired to replace him until they take the bandages off…the crash of course has changed his looks…what a shocker…but PLAUSABLE.

    Boom-Boom and Boom…buy the screenplay!

    • Larry Page says:

      That actually sounds really funny. It would be even better if Charlie’s replacement was somenody that looks absolutely nothing Charlie Sheen and would make a terrible replacement.

  23. Michael Sacal says:

    Rose will kill Charlie.

  24. TW says:

    i think herb should move in and rename the show 2 ex-husbands and a kid. hehe

    or better yet have berta move in and take over after winning the lottery and make alan be the maid and jake shacks up with one of bertas daughters.

  25. Michael Sacal says:

    The show will jump two to three years into the future and Rose will come back to Paris as “Chuck” after she has successfully undergone a sex change operation that brings her obsession with Charlie full circle. She BECOMES Charlie, the object of her obsession.

  26. Nick says:

    How about Herb finds out his daughter is not his and that Alan is really the father. He then leaves Judith and moves in with Alan because he has no where else to go and Alan feels as if he owes it to him.

  27. Matt says:

    I’d reboot it and make it a series about a nerdy electronics store employee with tons of potential. Somehow a CIA/NSA computer gets downloaded into his brain, and he is recruited to work for the US Government.

    Give him a tiny, bearded friend for comic relief, then pair him with a macho right-wing NSA agent and a sultry blonde CIA agent.

    • michael says:

      This would make a hell of a show! I don’t quite see it as CBS material though…perhaps NBC. And, to add to the suspence of the show, NBC could wait until the last minute every year to renew said show.

      • Matt says:

        I dunno. NBC doesn’t seem very willing to promote and back shows like this. Perhaps CBS would do better with it? At the very least, they might schedule it consistently on consecutive weeks.

    • Tigger Olsen says:

      Now that is a show I would watch!

  28. Bob says:

    No matter what they do to keep it 2.5 Men the air, it’s probably going to jump five or six sharks in the process. I’d keep the story exactly the same but every week have a different guest actor to play Charlie.

  29. ab2859 says:

    Two Words: John Stamos

  30. Dan says:

    How about this, Charlie has had enough of Alan’s mooching and finally kicks him out. On the same day, Alan’s ex-wife skips town with a traveling funk band leaving Ryan Stiles stuck with the baby and the house. This works out perfectly for both, but then through the season Alan becomes more and more like Charlie because Ryan’s character is an emotional wreck. The kid storylines will be in the background, like they have been for pretty much the last 2 seasons anyway.

  31. Laura says:

    Alan and Jake get on a plane. The plane crashes and they wake up on an Island where strange and terrifying thing happen and they even do some time travel. They run into Skipper, Gilligan, and Ginger and spend the rest of the series trying to get off the island.

  32. Aurore says:

    First I taught about Jake having a kid, but I don’t see him as a full man. He and Alan would’nt be as funny as Charlie and Alan were.
    Then I tought about Berta’s daughter having a new boyfriend whom need a place to stay. So he stays at Berta and she decide move in with Alan and Jake. Alan freaks out and invite the boyfriend to stay instead. The new guy broke up with Berta’s daughter but stay in the house.
    As for Charlie, they can kill him, let him stay with Rose…Doesn’t really matter.

  33. GimplyGump says:

    My Idea:

    Have Charlie killed off camera (husband comes home at the wrong time?) and:

    1) Herb divorces Judith and moves in and becomes the NEW “Alan”
    2) Now 18yo Jake inherits EVERYTHING. The House, Charlie’s millions, C. Waffle’s royalties, etc Alan inherits maybe the car. ;-)
    3) Jake becomes the new womanizer bringing home different women every night. Dear old Dad is helpless to stop him as Sonny boy owns the house he stays for free in.
    4) Alan and Judith learn Jake has been playing them like a fine toothed fiddle and graduates at the top of his class.
    5) ending scene Hoartio Craine clone (or maybe even a quick guest) is talking to everyone:
    HC: Don’t worry, we’ll find the killer.
    Alan: I thought you caught him?
    Jake: Red handed!
    Herb: About to Kill his wife!
    Berta: Don’t forget Charlie’s camera.
    HC: We’ll see what the evidence tells us.

  34. Debbie says:

    I heard one option that was great. Charlie dies and leaves all his money to Jake. Jake then takes over dishing out money to Alan. Then have Herb move in, trying to be the new Charlie.

  35. Kate says:

    Men is nothing without Charlie Sheen and Lorre is crazy for not taking him back! Who cares if he likes Sheen or Sheen likes him? Sheen shows up, does his job and everyone makes money – this is not rocket science. After all, how many employees like their boss? Not many. And american companies are outsourcing jobs and willing to fire employees to save a quarter so we know the bosses don’t care about the employees. Everyone needs to grow up and accept the fact that Men won’t work without Sheen. Cryer is good but he can’t carry the show. Rose would have to leave with Charlie so she’d be out. There is simply no plausible plotline to continue Men. Also, Lorre needs to man up and remember that Sheen might not have made comments about Lorre if Lorre hadn’t been using his vanity cards to make nasty cracks about Sheen. Men is a great show but Lorre is more dispensable than Sheen!

    • Amy says:

      Except that Sheen doesn’t show up for work, sometimes. And Lorre is the one with the power. Come back in one year and see who was dispensable and who wasn’t.

  36. rosie says:

    think they should let it go. having new chracters on the show won’t be as funny as it was with the oringinal chracter (charlie sheen).

  37. readinrobin says:

    I think Herb and Judith should separate and Herb and Alan become roommates. But I love the character of Judith, so I would want her to still be a part of the show. Actually, I’m quite fond of Rose also and would like to see her stick around.

  38. Abby says:

    I say that Charlie dies by hilarious misadventure. News of his death reaches someone he lost the beachhouse to in a poker game years ago in Vegas (who previously couldn’t or couldn’t be bothered to find him) who now comes to claim his estate.

  39. Amber says:

    I think they should just let the show die and move on. Give another show a chance to get renewed. It’s not like Chuck Lorre is hurting for the work, he’s got at least three other shows on TV right now that I can think of. And Jon Cryer is a talented guy, I’m sure he can get another role somewhere else. At the very least he’d get a nice settlement package from CBS.

  40. miles silverberg says:

    I don’t watch the show because it doesn’t really make me laugh. But from what I’ve seen, the show only works if there’s a Sheen-like character riffing off of Jon Cryer. Because without the Odd Couple ripoff aspect, the show has nothing.

    So I’ll say what I’ve said before: Pay Woody Harrelson Sheen-level money to do one season as a boarder who ingratiates himself into the fold. And I think they should say that Sheen’s character went nuts and was committed. which is how everyone gets to keep living in his house. Also because it would be the first thing the show did that I found funny.

  41. Bill Wilson says:

    Turns out that Alan and Charlie’s long-lost father is … William Shatner! They move in with dear-old dad, since HIS CBS sitcom is a marginally-rated stinker ANYWAY. Just imagine Shat with Holland Taylor in two or three scenes a week! Gold!

  42. Rebecca Parker says:

    James Spader would be perfect for the show.

  43. Amanda says:

    Berta turns into a man. problem solved :)

  44. John Berggren says:

    I think Berta counts as 1/2 a man and August could be promoted to “whole man”. New spin. Same title.

  45. Kirby says:

    James Spader moves in!

  46. Stu says:

    It’s really very simple, and it goes like this:

    A couple days go by and no one has seen Charlie. Alan, Jake, Bertta, et al worry at first but decide to live life like they own the house (as they would without Charlie). Then, one day, some random guy walks in the the Harper house (John Stamos, Rob Lowe, fill in the blank with random name/face). Random Guy starts walking around like he owns the place and greets the Harpers like he knows them. Well, turns out he does. It’s actually Charlie after plastic surgery. He decided to get plastic surgery b/c he was getting older, and he was sick of all he past “failures”. So, in a bid to feel younger, he has the surgery. Also, since no one will recognize him anymore, he can start the whole process of whoring himself out to the same women as before without them knowing it was him.

    It’s the best way to approach the matter b/c it fits the Harper mentality of curing getting older with plastic surgery (see Evalyn), and it’ll give Charlie a fresh start to his tail chasing, again.

    You’re welcome, Chuck Lorre (even though you’ll never read this).

  47. ThatBob says:

    Jake goes off to college where he moves into an apartment across the hall from a group of nerdy female PhD students including a semi-normal one he falls in love with, a girl from India, a short jewish girl who is only working on a masters in engineering, and a borderline crazy OCD physics student.

  48. Cathy says:

    Charlie gets into a horrible accident, and ends up in a full-body cast. He’s tortured for months while Alan, Berta and Jake take over the house. Alan pretends he’s actually Charlie, living the lifestyle Charlie had before the accident. Berta takes over Charlie’s financials and discovers he’s almost broke and leaves for her own series. Jake goes to college, but comes back when he discovers he can’t get a degree in professional surfing, especially since he never learned how. Herb moves in when the child support stops for Jake and Alan’s ex goes on a rampage. Once Charlie’s bandages come off, the differences in his appearance are subtle, because he’s Emilio!

    Wow, I’ve spent way too much time on this :).

  49. susela says:

    With the original “half man” of the title growing up, maybe he and John Cryer can be the two men, and they’ll bring in a new kid as the “half.” They can have Charlie disappear just as some former girlfriend turns up and dumps his son on the doorstep. The kid can be a flirtatious, rascally mini-Charlie, and Cryer tries to help him not grow up like his skeevy father.

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