RuPaul's Drag Race: Straight Expectations

Monday night’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race brought the unwelcome and moderately baffling return of pretty/dull Carmen Carrera, who was chosen by Michelle, Santino, and Billy B to get a second chance at the Season 3 title. It didn’t take long, though, for the skin-baring beauty to torpedo her own chances; when the queens were asked to transform straight jocks into dragtastic “sisters,” Carmen chose bedazzled bikinis that displayed her best assets, and left “Lolita” looking like a burly dude in a two-piece. Let’s recap the action via jaunty screengrab.

Manila explains the fine art of the drag-queen tuck to a befuddled Matt: The male anatomy contains a ''winter cabin'' where certain, um, dangling accouterments can ''hibernate.'

Slava can hardly believe what a wig and 10 lbs of makeup can do for a guy, but Yara Sofia isn't convinced it's the straight jock's first time at the drag rodeo.

Nope, Margaret, you're not the only one baffled by Raja's tired cheer: That queen has no comedy game!

Yara, meanwhile, may or may not have correctly spelled ''wrap,'' but girlfriend knows how to get a laugh.

Finally Matt comprehend's Manila's message: ''You're gonna strike a feminine pose, not like you're popping a squat in the woods.''

Sharon Osborne thinks Slava might be ''happy to see'' himself in drag, if I'm not being too subtle.

Old Hollywood Glam or Tarzan Tragique? You make the 'RuPaul's Drag Race' Call!

Rhetorical question of the week from Ru: ''Now Carmen, because your sister is beefy -- very masculine --did you ever consider doing something to feminize the body a little bit more?''

Who says drag queens can't pump their fists in triumph?

As a veteran of 'America's Next Top Model,' Raja says yes to the age-old question, 'Wanna be on top?'


''Buh-buh-bye-bye, Carmen.''