RuPaul's Drag Race Recap: Anchors Away!

Silence! It’s time to recap the action on last night’s RuPaul’s Drag Race!

This week, the queens were asked to divvie up into two teams and produce competing morning news programs. India Ferrah immediately put herself on the express elevator to the bottom two after team leader Carmen assigned her the role of meteorologist. “What kind of weather girl?” India asked pitifully, exhibiting none of the resourcefulness or outrageousness required of a drag superstar. You’d think India might’ve slapped out of it after Ru gave an incredulous response — “This is you being ghetto?” — to her workshopped character, which was nothing more than a random “gurrrrrllll” added to the end of a sentence. But like a pigeon hellbent on gobbling up a gyro in the crosswalk, Miss India got so focused on her script and outfit that she couldn’t see the 18-wheeler bearing down on her drag dreams.

I thought India would be lipsynching for her life against Mariah, the unimoninkered queen who, as Ru pointed out, is “resting on pretty.” Her interview with the utterly random Kristin Cavallari was littered with trip-ups and errors. Mariah’s explanation for her poor performance — “I had some facts that I didnt have completely together” — was hilarious, but in a completely unintentional way. Likewise, when Mariah asked Cavallari the needle-screeching-across-record question of the night (“Were you really born a genetic woman?”) her delivery was so lethargic it removed any kind of mischief or humor from the moment.

Ultimately, though, Ru and the judges (including guests Chloe Sevigny and Debbie Matenopolous) decided it should be Stacy Layne Matthews lipsynching for her life against India. At this point, the plus-sized queen’s sole shtick seems to be inserting the b-word into every sentence — “I cannot wait to hear what this bitch has to say,” she said of her mentoring session with Debbie — and she plays that “I’m from the sticks” excuse more often than a Kylie Minogue remix at a gay disco.

I would’ve given the win this week to Shangela (pictured), the only contestant who completely embraced the spirit of morning TV banter, and who even took an offhanded Yara Sofia line (“It’s so good but it’s so gay”) and turned it into a catchphrase. Plus, her runway look was a fantastic riff on Beyoncé circa “Crazy in Love.”

I wasn’t as thrilled as the judges by Manila’s Asian stereotype interviewer, although it did set up Ru’s best line of the night: “When you weren’t pronouncing your Ls and your Rs, I thought it was a terrible idea. But you know what? That never hurt Barbara Walters.” Debbie argued that “some eggs have to be broken to make an omelette,” but where were the mushrooms, the tomatoes, the cheese? By failing to infuse any fresh flavor into the stereotype on which she was riffing, Manila’s whole performance just left me feeling underwhelmed and a little sad. Still, it won her immunity for next week.

With the lipsynch-off between India and Stacy ending in a draw, the elimination came down to which runway look the judges liked better. Chloe wasn’t feeling the Yorkie on Stacy’s head (“I don’t like animals,” she deadpanned) but India’s dated gray frock proved downright offensive to Michelle Visage. What’s more India’s makeup looked like it had been applied in a back alley by a couple of teenage taggers. The horror! And with that, it was “Chanté, you stay” for Stacy, and “Sashay away” for India.

What did you think of this week’s RuPaul’s Drag Race results? Did the right person win? Was India the correct pick for elimination? And did the Raja-Shangela pageant debate seem like a whole lotta trumped-up nothing? Sound off in the comments, and for all my reality TV commentary, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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9 Comments
  1. oriharakaoru says:

    Ahhh, but what did you think of Raja’s runway look? I thought it was the best of the bunch! High concept drag done to perfection!

    For the newscasts, I thought Yara Sofia and Shangela were the best.

  2. Rebecca says:

    The pageant “debate” went nowhere, although they set it up to look like a total bitch-fight. I’m loving Raja and wishing she was getting noticed more for her gorgeous runway looks and walks.

  3. Ferp Dames Jirkins says:

    Freaking sick homos.

  4. John Berggren says:

    A lot of people are talking about Raja as the one to beat – but I feel like Shangela has either won or come this close to winning each week. I think there may have been at least one occasion where the award went elsewhere to avoid the suspicion of playing favorites.

    So far Shangela is my pick to win.

  5. 4F says:

    Shangela should have won this week. I agree with John…she’s proving to be a strong contender and could very well make it to the end and possibly win.

  6. KevyB says:

    I totally thought Shangela should’ve won this week for her newscast (Raja’s runway outfit was way better), but I am going to be psychotic if she wins this thing. She had her chance, she lost, she shouldn’t be back. She has way more behind-the-scenes information at her disposal than the other girls which gives her an unfair advantage. If Ru wants to bring back the trash after it’s been thrown out, she can have an all-star edition next season.

    As for the India going home, yay! One less clothes-hanger in the finals. But she totally should’ve been up against Mariah. As boring as Stacy Lyn- omg her name is so boring I can’t even finish it – is, at least she brought it to the runway. I guess Ru didn’t want to have two clothes-hangers up against each other.

  7. Kenneth Text me if you agree. 816 345 0188 says:

    everyone knows that india ferrah looked gorgous in the leatard episode. she is by far my fav person. and deffently my have queen. i want to go in drag and Ru i dont know if you read this but im your biggest giggest fan. and i wanna be on your phone. india your so cute and amazing. you looked so pretty. babe i dont want to just be a fan i want to be a friend. like i wont tell anyone and i really wanna talk to you. india has helped me be able to comeout and feel ok with being transgender. your the reason i came out. i hide it for so long but now im open. babe your everything i have beleaved in and i really hope you text me cus it would make my day to talk to an idal. imma add you to my facebook. but not the fan site. but your real thing. i want to be your friend and only that please? 816 345 0188. please india. and if you ever get hate mail girl dont let it bother you. your gorgous and amazing. as for mimi imfurst. what you did was not ok. you deserved being kicked off. but it broke my heart when you cryed. angels shouldnt cry. lol. ok thanks

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