The final four contestants on Worst Cooks in America all saw their pans go up in flames last night, but for once, the whoosh of fire and threat of singed eyebrows was the desired effect. Yes, for the final elimination challenge, Georg, Kelsey, Joshie (pictured), and Carlos were all asked to make flambéed desserts. Kelsey, who claimed she had the edge on the Blue Team because she was “smarter than Georg,” went on to explain that she had no idea what the word flambé meant, not that such a crisis was going to wipe the enthusiastic smile off her face.
Carlos, meanwhile, whipped up a big cauldron of bitter; he trash-talked Joshie to his face and in his confessionals during the “skill set decathlon,” despite the fact that Worst Cooks is one of the few competitive reality shows on TV where such behavior is about as welcome as a toenail in the brioche bread pudding. Watching Joshie on the assembly-line is like “watching Britney Spears shave her head,” Carlos huffed. Later, when he told Chef Anne he was going to “beat Joshie up — in cooking,” you could see his mentor furrow her brow in confusion, as if to say “this isn’t Top Chef, kiddo!”
Given Carlos’ sudden “villain-lite edit,” it was pretty easy to predict Chef Anne would choose Joshie to represent her in the finale, despite the fact that one of his three half-chickens looked like it had been slathered in SPF 50 before heading into the oven. And that he committed another heinous round of double-dipping on his chimichurri sauce. And that his omelette looked as though it was filled with a wet yellow sponge. And that he garnished his calamari with slimy entrails. Then again, the spastic attorney did make a more passionate case for making the finale, and he has a girlfriend named Marz who seems born for the reality TV genre. “As annoying as [Joshie] can be,” said Anne, “he makes food that tastes good and does it with excitement.” Fair enough.
On the Blue Team, it was also a pretty close call, but you knew Chef Robert was going to have to choose one of his original recruits, not a contestant he drafted from Chef Anne midway through the season. Plus, while Kelsey’s main goal in life was to avoid giving her hubby his third bout of food poisoning during their first year of marriage, I’m pretty convinced the raw hunks of venison she served in the final challenge would be best paired with a trip to the E.R. (I did, however, get a kick out of the way she described her husband’s passion for hunting as if he were a housecat leaving mouse corpses on the back doorstep: “He’s always bringing home dead animals to cook!”) What’s more, Georg has been incredibly consistent over the last few weeks, and seems to have developed an understanding of flavor and ingredients that goes deeper than merely following recipe cards. (Was anyone else delighted by the way Worst Cooks presented her wife Teresa without any fanfare or “Oh.Em.Gee! It’s a lesbian couple!” drama whatsoever? Just a couple of ordinary moms, one of whom happens to be culinarily impaired!)
So now we’re down to the finale — Georg vs. Joshie — in a battle to whip up a restaurant-quality meal for a panel of food experts. Who do you think will take home the top prize? And which cook will you be cheering for? Sound off in the comments, and for all my reality TV ridiculata, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV!