Worst Cooks In America Recap: Fishy Business

With only six contestants left, and the kitchen competency level on the rise, the producers of Worst Cooks in America had to get a little more creative last night to whip up an episode that would satisfy our appetites for comical culinary horror. The solution? “Giant monster fish” and slippery squid to send our queasy cooks into fits of fear.

I particularly loved the little “surprise” embedded in the stomach of one of Kat’s calamari: A whole sardine, gray and squelchy and possibly in the early stages of decomposition. I can’t be sure some crafty Worst Cooks production assistant didn’t plant it there, but it was a gory highlight of a sadly tepid episode. “It will haunt me for the rest of my life,” giggled Kat, who left all kinds of foul sludge on her cutting board as she continued to prepare her dish for the elimination challenge. Alas, the addition of entrails to her entree left it “slimy and bitter,” according to Chef Anne, and along with the quarter cup or so of crushed red pepper flakes on Kat’s poached egg, led to the season’s most unintentionally entertaining contestant finally getting the boot.

On the Blue Team, Ty’s utter optimism was no longer enough to compensate for his culinary shortcomings. “I’ve done a great job — at facing my fears,” said Ty sagely, moments before elimination. Well, at least he wasn’t trying to make a case for his raw okra and watery fish broth. I will, however, miss moments like Ty adding four cups of chicken stock instead of the reommended four tablespoons, and his remarkable ability to always use the wrong-sized pot.

Other highlights this week:

* Joshie’s sweaty, panicking meltdown (pictured), including a cut that bled all over his calamari filling. “Dealing with this monster and shredding it to pieces is unequivocaly the greatest fear I will ever have to overcome,” he gasped, clearly underestimating the possibility that a wide range of horrors — horrors worse that preparing a high-end seafood dish in a clean, well-lit kitchen — might befall him at any moment.

* The unintentionally suggestive bon mots flying around during the “make your own sausage” skill drill. “I like big sausages!” shouted Ty. “It’s important to use your little pricker,” offered Chef Anne. “I’m really excited to pump that sausage,” exclaimed Carlos. And just like that, we’d entered an episode of Beavis and Butt-Head.

* Kelsey translating Chef Robert’s Herb Sausage with Red-Pepper Spaetzle and Cream Sauce into more, um, relatable terms: “So good, it’s almost like adult macaroni and cheese with hot dogs.” Yum?

What did you think of this week’s Worst Cooks? Who do you think will make the finale? I’m pulling for Georg and Carlos, but honestly, I’m just hoping we’ll see some more charring, mutilating, and mis-measuring before it’s all said and done. Share your own thoughts below, and for all my reality TV ridiculata, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. Chris says:

    I’m pulling for Carlos. He’s so earnest and seems like the best of these cooks.

  2. Jean says:

    Joshie has grown on me but I’m still for Carlos on the Red Team. And I love Georg!!! (And no disrespect to this year’s contestants but I do still miss Rachel from last year, who referred to fellow contestant Jenny as “my bromance”.)

  3. daisyj says:

    Carlos is definitely the one to beat at this point. I still think Joshie is a producer plant, but I’m cynical that way.

    Speaking of cynicism, does anyone else have a kind of a problem with the contestants all being self-nominated? Not that I dislike them, but it does seem like a system that’s wide open for abuse– after all, what’s to keep a person who just wants to get onto tv to pretend to be a bad cook? I think they should go for a format more like What Not To Wear, with the contestants nominated by their long-suffering family members. Because, as bad as a person who has never learned how to cook can be, they have nothing on someone who believes absolutely that his or her oven-dried pork chops in marshmallow fluff would pass for Michelin-starred cuisine.

    • Stephanie says:

      In the first season they specifically said that they were nominated by friends or family. I think they said it this season too but I’m not as sure about that. My boyfriend said the same thing when he first started watching this show and it wouldn’t surprise me if someone did. I mean…even if the family has to nominate what’s to stop from people colluding or something. Especially if they are a great cook and they wanna get on Food Network. There’s always gonna be that question in the back of my mind but it doesn’t matter to me in the long run because it’s still just as entertaining!

    • Team Red says:

      Is it me or doesn’t anyone else feel the same way. I’ve observed and I think Gorge already knew how to cook. She hasn’t missed a step the entire time.

  4. Craig says:

    Carlos is totally the favorite to win, and if he is single and ready to mingle he needs to look me up. ok!

  5. 4F says:

    I’m rooting for Carlos big time, but I love Georg too. I think those two will have an excellent head to head battle in the finale. Joshie has grown on me in the past couple of weeks (I really hated him in the beginning), but I think Carlos will be representing Anne. Carlos just seems like a total sweetie, and I love every time they show the clip of him doing that little dance when he was announced the winner of the challenge 2 – 3 weeks ago.

  6. pamela sico says:

    Why would you take people who are completely unable to cook and teach them to do these contrived recipes. The re cipes are great, but for the experienced chef. Why do n’t you tech them how to boil an egg simple recipes? That is why the entire show seems contrived.

  7. JTHomas says:

    Did George actually say “my wife Lisa”?

    • MoHub says:

      Georg (no g on the end, BTW) not only said that, she was nominated by her wife to be on the show. That’s right: She’s a lesbian with a kid. Not an issue in my book.

      I also think it will come down to Georg versus Carlos. I’m squarely on Team Carlos.

      And finally, Isn’t a lawyer in his late 30s a bit too old to be calling himself Joshie? If I were a client, I’d have a hard time respecting him.

    • raven says:

      Yes that was georg’s wife who looked old enough to be her mother.That was gross i turned it off after that