Worst Cooks in America Recap: Snack Attack!

We’re now past the midway point in season 2 of Worst Cooks in America, and yet the contestants continue to commit unspeakable acts against innocent food products. Potatoes get mashed before they’re fully cooked. Delicious steak is prepared in a way that makes it indistinguishable from Spam. Even one-syllable verbs in recipes become stumbling blocks. “Trim?” asked Kelly, as if her coach, Chef Robert Irvine, had hurled an inscrutable French term in her face. As my husband said to me halfway through last night’s episode, “I know these people can’t cook, but have any of them ever eaten?”

Things kicked off with a Skill Drill that found both the Blue Team and the Red Team rearranging scrambled recipe directions, then trying to execute said dishes as a group. Joshie struggled to tell the difference between pork tenderloin and a slab of bacon, and the sound of his voice drove Jen to cut herself. Kelly trimmed both ends of her haricots vers, causing Chef Anne to downgrade them from “upscale restaurant” to “hospital cafeteria.” (Later, when she learned the error of her ways, Kelly came to the following conclusion: “Apparently you need to leave on the pretty elf shoe.”) Meanwhile, Kelsey and Georg debated the age-old question: “What is veal?” I could go on about how the ladies considered “deer” as a possible answer, then went completely blank for possible alternatives, but at least they managed to cook the hunk of protein with some degree of success.

The same can’t be said for Kat, whose apple sauce went awry when she ignored her recipe and cut her fruit in quarters instead of half-inch chunks. The resulting side dish looked like sad boiled potatoes with a couple shards of burnt pork fat (see photo below). But apparently, Kat’s abject failure to follow directions and utter inability to tell the difference between a tragic boiled apple and actual apple sauce led to a great “a-ha!” moment: In the future, she will trust her instincts! (Translation: Kat’s “cooking” simply provides too much comic relief to cut her at this point in the competition, which means some positive twist must be put on her repeated Kat-astrophes and “might as well give up” attitude.)

The “Game-Day Party” Elimination Challenge (which roped in N.Y. Jets star Kris Jenkins and his wife Tashia without giving then a role in the judging) asked each contestant to whip up an hors d’oeuvre from a pre-determined recipe, then create an original topping for a potato pancake. “I can put my own little Kelly spin on it,” threatened Kelly, and you pretty much knew she was on her way out the door. The ditzy aerobics instructor put more effort into naming her snack (“Nacho Normal Tomato”) than in inventing it. Chef Robert looked slightly dizzy when he realized his protege had settled on hunks of raw tomato and some melted cheddar, distributed pell-mell around her tray. As for her black-bean fritters, Kelly attempted to pass them off as “edible, not spit-out-able,” but the barely suppressed gag from Tashia told a different story. On the Red Team, Jen got “stuck in pancake world” and found herself headed home, not before giving a tearful farewell about her plans to cook a successful meal for her twentieth wedding anniversary. “I’m gonna make it! It’s gonna be good!”

Winners of the week? Georg on the Blue Team thanks to a diced tomato/cilantro/onion/shrimp topping for her pancake, and Carlos on the Red Team, for whipping up a steak and red pepper topping. Here’s hoping no one gets too, too adept behind the burners, though, as half the fun of this show is in the splattering, the undercooking, and the charring.

What did you think of this week’s Worst Cooks? Did the right folks go home? And with six contestants left, who are you rooting for to take home the big prize? Share your thoughts in the comments, and to get all my reality TV coverage, follow me on Twitter @MichaelSlezakTV.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

  1. Sara says:

    Part of the reason these people can’t cook is because they can’t seem to follow a simple recipe (or read it all the way through). And I agree with your husband they must only have eaten or cooked pre-prepared food! Finally, I think it is kind of crazy to ask them to be creative in their cooking when they can’t cook in the first place. And on wonders if they are getting any more instruction than what is being shown on camera – because it isn’t much!

    • V says:

      I’m pretty sure they’re getting regular coaching in between the shows. From things they’ve said, it sounds like it’s a daily class or something, with the “challenges” that we see happening once a week. (They’ve mentioned instruction that never showed up on camera.)

  2. Alex says:

    I agree with your thoughts (and your husband’s thoughts as well.) I think Carlos is going to win the whole thing because he seems to be the most consistent in his cooking.

  3. Susan says:

    I have a serious problem with Anne. While it is common knowledge that the food network has absolutely no respect for kosher dietary laws, it is just sad that Anne pushed Joshie to try the shrimp even though that is the one area of the kosher laws he had been unable to get over. I just wish just once a show on Food Network would actually respect religious dietary laws instead of continuing to show ignorance. Wouldn’t it be great if people could actually learn something on one of these shows?

    • 4F says:

      Susan, the name of the show is not Worst Kosher Cooks in America. The show is not about catering to anyone’s restricted diet, religious or otherwise. I notice you don’t have any sympathy for the vegetarian who has been subjected to things she’s not completely comfortable with.

    • Kelly says:

      Joshie’s said repeatedly he no longer follows kosher law, and that this was just a hangup. The show’s been a lot harder on the ethical vegetarian, who last night was forced to eat veal – one of the biggest “sins” to eat, at least by ethical vegetarian rules.

  4. xwiseguyx says:

    I disagree Susan. If one’s dietary restrictions (for religious purposes or other…) prohibit them from certain foods such as Shrimp, they shouldn’t be on the show in the first place. That being said, Joshie didn’t seem to have as much of an issue with it as you did.

  5. Chris says:

    This was a really good episode. I’m glad Kelly was booted this week. Her small and perky ways were wearing on me. Those fritters she presented looked like a woodland fungus. Carlos continues to be my favorite. His food actually looked very tasty. Your husband’s comment regarding if the contestants had ever eaten makes me wonder if they’ve ever eaten anything that didn’t come in a bag or a box.

  6. 4F says:

    Carlos will definitely be representing for Anne’s team in the finale, but I’m not sure about who will be cooking for Robert.