Who Should Sub For Charlie Sheen on Men?

For better or worse, there is only one Charlie Sheen. So while the one and only one gets his act together — and by some accounts, it could take a while — we think the producers of Two and a Half Men should seriously consider bringing in a temp to fill that void and, just as importantly, keep their crew on the clock. But who? That is the question. Luckily, we have the answer… several answers, in fact. Consider, won’t you:

Michael J. Fox | When the erstwhile Alex P. Keaton bowed out of Spin City to deal with his Parkinson’s disease, Sheen stepped in as the series’ new lead. So wouldn’t it be fitting if, all these years later, Fox was there for Sheen in his hour of need?

Ashton Kutcher | Though No Strings Attached did well at the box office, were any of us ever as attached to Mr. Demi Moore as we were when he played Kelso on That ’70s Show? On the small screen, he’s appealingly larger-than-life.

Andrew McCarthy | What if for some reason — hey, we don’t write the show — Alan (Jon Cryer) happened to take in an old high school nemesis… one who insisted on calling him “Duckie”?

Seth Green | He’s an actor, a producer, a cartoon character… he was even a werewolf (before werewolves needed six-packs). Since there’s clearly nothing he can’t do — and make us laugh while he’s doing it — why not serve him this gig on a silver platter?

Justin Bieber | Remember how it ruined The Brady Bunch when mop-topped cousin Oliver joined the family? What if Jake (Angus T. Jones) just happens to also have a mop-topped cousin, only instead of wrecking the show, he just wrecks… well, his life? Could be fun, no?

Nicholas Brendan | No stranger to tough times, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer alum would be uniquely appreciative of what’s at stake in Sheen’s rehab. Plus, does anyone not miss “the Zeppo”? (Put your hand down, Cordy.)

Betty White | In a way, Miss Popularity almost has to replace Sheen during his recovery. Unless we’re mistaken, Two and a Half Men is one of only three TV shows in history on which she has yet to appear.

OK, your turn. Which of the above can you most easily see filling in for Charlie and “Charlie”? Or do you have a better idea, keeping in mind that both Sheen’s big brother and dad, Emilio Estevez and Martin Sheen, have already guested on the CBS hitcom?

You know where to stick your input… below!

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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140 Comments
  1. phishFileo says:

    OK. So here’s what we should do:

    Write off Charlie by saying that he took ALL of their money and spent it by himself. They become so poor that they could lose the house. So, they turn his room into something like a hotel (or motel, or something) and bring everyone suggested in this site to said room per episode. And you can have different versions of what EVERYONE wants! Right?

  2. Kim Goodall says:

    I think we are making to much of this, everyone has problems in life we are not here to Judge, as long as the ratings are there and he fufills his work duties we have no right Judging him on what he does in his private life,, It would be a big mistake to replace him he is the SHOW!!!!

  3. Mykey716 says:

    Honestly, it’s ridiculous to even talk about replacing Charlie Sheen. The show just wouldn’t work without him and Jon Cryer is just not good enough (as Alan) to carry this show alone. Without Sheen, the show will have to be cancelled.

  4. Ryan D says:

    Perhaps they could have Charlie Harper go to rehab and Alan more-or-less takes over the house (without Charlie’s permission) and Herb moves in with him after leaving Judith.

    That way, they can keep the sets and everything and keep Berta around.

    Can’t forget Jake either. ^^

    And Judith **hates** that both her ex-husbands are roommates in a Malibu almost-mansion.

  5. Barbara says:

    I think Matt Leblanc would be a great replacement. He’s good-looking, funny, and can play a womanizer in a cute, endearing sort of way. His experience on “Friends” would fit in perfectly in terms of relating to others. Plus, he’s popular and could be the right draw to keep viewers watching.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Will Arnett can totally sub for or even replace Charlie Sheen! He’s funny and can totally pull off the dissolute bad boy! Now, all we have to do is replace Jon Cryer with Jason Bateman!!!

  7. Nick T says:

    Someone obviously like Buffy. Nicholas Brandon?? (Okay, only if he gets to wear his eye patch)

  8. Arlliana says:

    Robert Downey Jr. Hands down the best replacement for Charlie. He’s done TV before, why not now?

  9. staci says:

    whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

  10. Barbara says:

    The only person that could replace Charlie is James Spader.

  11. ilona says:

    MATT DILLON!!!??? He’s usually played a ‘bad boy’ type…a little sloppy. I think he’d be great!

  12. Kennette says:

    Well Turn about is fair play and since Charlie took Michael J Fox’s place on Spin City, you could have Michael J Fox take his place on Two and a Half Men. :-)

  13. Chuck says:

    Maybe while Charlie is getting things straighten out, his older brother could come for a visit and replace him as a Charlie, like they did in the program Bewitched with a new Darrin. maybe just for awhile until they work the problem out. Two and a half men is a good show to watch, so they all need to work it out and all need to grow up. Just need to remember that we all need to work together, so it will be successful for all and we do not need too many people getting big heads about this and thinking they are better than the rest of us. I feel it is not the money issue, it is someone trying to control another person, just like the goverment does to people telling them how much they will pay for like gas and etc.
    Hopefully they will work it out soon or it will dissapear like everything else does.

  14. Daft says:

    Pick a Baldwin, any Baldwin.

    Write Charlie out with a story line that he found out he slept with a woman who used to be a man. Charlie is so freaked out that he takes a vacation to a remote island paradise, where he falls in love with a woman and never comes back. There could still be very funny phone converations with Alan where Charlie’s voice is never heard and it’s just Alan reacting the all of the whacky things Charlie might say.

    I also like the 3′s Company concept. Bring back Candy. Candy and Rose move in with Alan. He could call them his goddesses.

  15. Carole says:

    There is only one person who could play Charlie’s brother and that is Robert Downey Jr.

  16. Dan Kilcup says:

    Charlie dies, Alan, at the reading of the will expects to get the beach house. But no, Charlie left a huge debt to his agent, Alan Shore (James Spader) in New York. Shore arrives, takes over but tells Alan and the kid can stay on as caretakers as he has too much business in New York. Thus he begins the party scene in L.A., inviting his old buddy, Denny Crane (William Shatner) to drop in….a complete riot. And Spader can play the lascivious bachelor to the hilt and make you forget Sheen. He’d play well off of Alan (Cryer) as well.

  17. Bax says:

    Robert Downey Jr. Pay him the same as what Sheen was getting and I can easily see him taking 2 years off from movies to go this. Basically he will be playing himself.

  18. Dave says:

    THE PERFECT REPLACEMENT IS MARIO LOPEZ

  19. Shirley says:

    Alright Mario Lopez that’s a great idea

  20. jcs0009 says:

    Ralph Macchio has been selected to replace Charlie Sheen. Read the news idiots! He was much less expensive than Rob Lowe. I would have preferred Rob Lowe, or Robert Downey Jr.

  21. Cindy Keller says:

    Matt Dillon.

  22. Renee says:

    Antonio sabati jr looks like Charlie sheen. They can pull a Bewitched Darrin swircheroo, or like what they did with the mother from The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire.

    I also think Jason Bateman can carry the show.

  23. squier says:

    his cousin tommy lee

  24. sol says:

    how about Matt LeBlanc

  25. Rufus says:

    How about Ellen DeGeneres as the replacement for Charlie Sheen?

  26. Linda from Virginia says:

    How about this idea… not replacing Charlie but have character “Charlie” check into rehab with that written into the show. While in rehab Charlie finds he needs a liver transplant, but NEITHER his mom or Alan or Jake are a match.

    Knowing that Alan and Charlie’s dad is deceased (I think this is correct as their mother has remarried several times and jokingly referenced as to they all died!)

    Then the mother then comes forward that Charlie was fathered by a one-night stand and therefore only is a half-brother to Charlie. The biological father is then brought into the story line and there is your replacement for Charlie – the biological dad.

    For the remainder to the 1-2 years of the show this would be a great fit as character “Charlie” would be in the background in rehab etc. and perhaps for the show’s finally maybe then Charlie Sheen could make a resurrection “as cured” and rejoin the show in the finale with the entire family.

    Then I would like to make a last suggestion that they rename the show based on my suggestion…. “Three and a half men.”

    To play the role of the father… Michael Douglas or similar that would be age appropriate as an older version of the current womanizing, drinking of the character Charlie we have all come to love and will greatly miss!

  27. T Wells says:

    None. Get Robert Downey Jr.

  28. Lisa says:

    I’d choose John Stamos.

  29. Miranda says:

    Robert Downey Jr.

  30. Lei says:

    Best choice – the only womanizer perhaps worse than sheen – Matthew mcconaughey. :)

  31. David says:

    Dennis Leary should replace Charlie Sheen. He could be his cousin. Dennis Leary is just like Charlie Sheen, humor, temperment, and frustration level.

  32. Kathy McGrain says:

    THEY SHOULD CONSIDER DAVID DUCHOVNEY TO REPLACE CHARLIE SHEEN. HE’S GOT THE LOOK AND THE PERSONALITY AND FACIAL EXPRESSIONS TO PULL IT OFF. HE WOULD BE PERFECT.

  33. gy says:

    Replacement for Charlie Sheen – Ron White!!

  34. Justin says:

    I think they should use Ryan Reynolds or Jason Biggs.

  35. justin says:

    BRING THE *N.P.H* (neal pattrick Harris) to the show.

  36. bonnie says:

    two & a half men is the best show on television!
    bring charlie sheen back!…..

  37. bonnie says:

    i agree!…..david duchovney would be perfect!…..he plays the same kind of part in ” californication “…..a bad boy!

  38. stan says:

    i think Johnny Depp would be awesome

  39. Allison says:

    The Zeppo! And THIS is why I love your site – Nicholas Brendon, our beloved Xander, would be perfect!!!

  40. cprodo says:

    Bree Olson should replace Charlie, at least the would be very sexy

  41. s says:

    eric roberts would be perfect

  42. Mareko85 says:

    Clint Eastwood would be great, or Wesley snipes!

  43. ShinGamix says:

    Sean William Scott- Charlie Harper jr (Long Lost son?)
    William Shatner-Charlie and Allen’s Dad?
    Betty White-Berta’s Mom!
    Or better yet bring Charlie Sheen Back!
    If Disagree re-read above statement until you agree.

  44. Amanda Penner says:

    I think Matt LeBlanc from friends would be pretty perfect for the job

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