5 Secrets We'd Love To Hear Oprah Winfrey Spill

Oprah Winfrey has been “keeping a family secret for months” and plans to reveal it to her audience on Monday’s episode of her ubiquitous talk show, she explains in a new promotional spot.

Winfrey describes her revelation as “the miracle of all miracles,” so we’re pretty sure she’s planning something a little more exciting than giving up the secret ingredient in the Winfrey family potato-salad recipe.

Whatever familial bean Oprah spills 48 hours from now, though, we’re guessing it won’t be the last dramatic announcement made during The Oprah Winfrey Show‘s final season. To that end, we’ve cooked up five additional bombshells we’d love to see Oprah drop over the next five months.

5. “Those refrigerators I gave away on my Favorite Things episode last year? They fell off the back of a truck, if I’m not being too subtle.”

4. “Gayle is just a decoy. It’s Dr. Oz. It’s always been Dr. Oz.”

3. “I’m not gonna lie to you. I knew A Million Little Pieces was pure fiction… because I wrote it myself.”

2. “Say goodbye to Oprah’s Angel Network. I am hereby ceasing all my charitable works and funneling all my expendable income toward building my own private spaceship.”

1. “That’s right, girlfriends — God is my first cousin.”

Got any other ridiculata you’d fancy hearing Oprah share? Offer your suggestions in the comments below!

Follow Michael Slezak on Twitter: @MichaelSlezakTV

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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32 Comments
  1. L says:

    My guess is that she has a sibling she did not know about.

  2. jinq2 says:

    Maybe she adopted/is adopting a child?

  3. Meg says:

    I thought she already ended the Angel Network–gave all the money out to schools… But maybe she and Lady Gaga have descended from the same space-life force to take over the human population?

  4. Hmmm says:

    That the baby she thought was dead is actually alive.

    • Stevo says:

      Funny enough that was my first thought given that she talked to Piers Morgan about it.

    • Kim R says:

      OR that that wasn’t the only pregnancy she had as a young girl & she gave that baby up for adoption?

    • Famous Artist says:

      You know, I thought she was lying when she told that story on Piers Morgan. I am guessing she is going to tell us she was lying, and say that the child was born and has found her.

  5. Mimsy says:

    Remember that book The Secret and how I was endorsing it? I was just punking y’all.

    I cloned my puppy who choked on a ball.

    I’ve cloned myself. Everyone welcome Oprah 2.0.

    After years of research, finally a 100% fat free macaroni and cheese.

  6. Suncatcher says:

    I sure hope she announces I am her long lost:
    daughter/brother/aunt/sister/mom/dad/uncle/pet cat/anything that breathes that can be added to her Last Will and Testament!

    Kidding. (Maybe).

  7. Suncatcher says:

    OR

    that she and Gayle are aliens

  8. Suncatcher says:

    She and Gayle are aliens.

  9. shenaynay says:

    She is L Ron Hubbard.

  10. Tek says:

    That she is Obama’s twin from Kenya…wait that couldn’t be, could it???? LOL

  11. Vanny says:

    My guess is that it has something to do with a baby. Perhaps she is adopting?

  12. Diane says:

    maybe she had a child via surrogate mom?

  13. Igloo says:

    Verne Winfrey is not her biological father.

  14. Igloo says:

    She has a brother or sister she never knew about or better yet they are twins.

  15. mdaily says:

    She and Stedman finally married officially.

  16. Abie says:

    It’s all been a hoax.
    She’s really a skinny white guy from Cleveland.

  17. Mel says:

    So i guess i am related to Oprah, ’cause God is my cousin too :D

  18. The Original Gator Hater Early Cuyler says:

    She’s really a man.

  19. talk talk says:

    Something about her mother – forgiveness, reunion

  20. Sandra Harvey says:

    The secret could be that she and Gayle are related, maybe her sister or Oprah’s child.

  21. C Lynn says:

    1) the baby that died when she was 14, didn’t really die and it’s back
    2) reveal her biological father
    3) reveal her true relationship with Gayle
    4) Stedman has a love child

  22. Matt says:

    She’s really Martin Lawrence or Eddie Murphy in makeup and costume!

  23. forrest says:

    her and Gayle are actually sisters

  24. Larc says:

    I’m betting whatever it is, the sizzle is greater than the steak! ;)

  25. Tony says:

    “Dr. Phil?
    TOTALLY just me in reverse-drag. And they told me a black woman could never make it as a white man!”

    :-)

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