5 Secrets We'd Love To Hear Oprah Winfrey Spill

Oprah Winfrey has been “keeping a family secret for months” and plans to reveal it to her audience on Monday’s episode of her ubiquitous talk show, she explains in a new promotional spot.

Winfrey describes her revelation as “the miracle of all miracles,” so we’re pretty sure she’s planning something a little more exciting than giving up the secret ingredient in the Winfrey family potato-salad recipe.

Whatever familial bean Oprah spills 48 hours from now, though, we’re guessing it won’t be the last dramatic announcement made during The Oprah Winfrey Show‘s final season. To that end, we’ve cooked up five additional bombshells we’d love to see Oprah drop over the next five months.

5. “Those refrigerators I gave away on my Favorite Things episode last year? They fell off the back of a truck, if I’m not being too subtle.”

4. “Gayle is just a decoy. It’s Dr. Oz. It’s always been Dr. Oz.”

3. “I’m not gonna lie to you. I knew A Million Little Pieces was pure fiction… because I wrote it myself.”

2. “Say goodbye to Oprah’s Angel Network. I am hereby ceasing all my charitable works and funneling all my expendable income toward building my own private spaceship.”

1. “That’s right, girlfriends — God is my first cousin.”

Got any other ridiculata you’d fancy hearing Oprah share? Offer your suggestions in the comments below!

Follow Michael Slezak on Twitter: @MichaelSlezakTV



Comments (32)

  • My guess is that she has a sibling she did not know about.

    Comment by L – January 22, 2011 11:10 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner! And on the very first post.

      Comment by Bob – January 24, 2011 09:28 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Maybe she adopted/is adopting a child?

    Comment by jinq2 – January 22, 2011 11:28 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I thought she already ended the Angel Network–gave all the money out to schools… But maybe she and Lady Gaga have descended from the same space-life force to take over the human population?

    Comment by Meg – January 22, 2011 11:39 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • That the baby she thought was dead is actually alive.

    Comment by Hmmm – January 22, 2011 11:52 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Funny enough that was my first thought given that she talked to Piers Morgan about it.

      Comment by Stevo – January 22, 2011 12:12 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • OR that that wasn’t the only pregnancy she had as a young girl & she gave that baby up for adoption?

      Comment by Kim R – January 22, 2011 01:20 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • You know, I thought she was lying when she told that story on Piers Morgan. I am guessing she is going to tell us she was lying, and say that the child was born and has found her.

      Comment by Famous Artist – January 23, 2011 02:50 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Remember that book The Secret and how I was endorsing it? I was just punking y’all.

    I cloned my puppy who choked on a ball.

    I’ve cloned myself. Everyone welcome Oprah 2.0.

    After years of research, finally a 100% fat free macaroni and cheese.

    Comment by Mimsy – January 22, 2011 12:45 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Hey! Yours were funnier than Slezak’s!

      Comment by lunakit – January 22, 2011 06:28 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I sure hope she announces I am her long lost:
    daughter/brother/aunt/sister/mom/dad/uncle/pet cat/anything that breathes that can be added to her Last Will and Testament!

    Kidding. (Maybe).

    Comment by Suncatcher – January 22, 2011 12:49 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • OR

    that she and Gayle are aliens

    Comment by Suncatcher – January 22, 2011 12:50 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • She and Gayle are aliens.

    Comment by Suncatcher – January 22, 2011 12:52 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • She is L Ron Hubbard.

    Comment by shenaynay – January 22, 2011 01:05 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Most excellent!

      Comment by Suncatcher – January 22, 2011 01:15 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • That she is Obama’s twin from Kenya…wait that couldn’t be, could it???? LOL

    Comment by Tek – January 22, 2011 01:23 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • My guess is that it has something to do with a baby. Perhaps she is adopting?

    Comment by Vanny – January 22, 2011 01:40 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • maybe she had a child via surrogate mom?

    Comment by Diane – January 22, 2011 01:48 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Verne Winfrey is not her biological father.

    Comment by Igloo – January 22, 2011 02:09 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • She has a brother or sister she never knew about or better yet they are twins.

    Comment by Igloo – January 22, 2011 02:13 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • She and Stedman finally married officially.

    Comment by mdaily – January 22, 2011 03:28 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • It’s all been a hoax.
    She’s really a skinny white guy from Cleveland.

    Comment by Abie – January 22, 2011 03:32 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • OMG. That made me laugh.

      Comment by Sue – January 22, 2011 04:39 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • So i guess i am related to Oprah, ’cause God is my cousin too :D

    Comment by Mel – January 22, 2011 07:23 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • She’s really a man.

    Comment by The Original Gator Hater Early Cuyler – January 22, 2011 09:23 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Something about her mother – forgiveness, reunion

    Comment by talk talk – January 23, 2011 01:29 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • The secret could be that she and Gayle are related, maybe her sister or Oprah’s child.

    Comment by Sandra Harvey – January 23, 2011 05:48 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • 1) the baby that died when she was 14, didn’t really die and it’s back
    2) reveal her biological father
    3) reveal her true relationship with Gayle
    4) Stedman has a love child

    Comment by C Lynn – January 23, 2011 05:59 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • She’s really Martin Lawrence or Eddie Murphy in makeup and costume!

    Comment by Matt – January 23, 2011 08:06 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • her and Gayle are actually sisters

    Comment by forrest – January 23, 2011 10:42 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I’m betting whatever it is, the sizzle is greater than the steak! ;)

    Comment by Larc – January 23, 2011 04:40 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • “Dr. Phil?
    TOTALLY just me in reverse-drag. And they told me a black woman could never make it as a white man!”
    :-)

    Comment by Tony – January 24, 2011 03:28 AM PDT  Reply To This Post

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