5 Secrets We'd Love To Hear Oprah Winfrey Spill

Oprah Winfrey has been “keeping a family secret for months” and plans to reveal it to her audience on Monday’s episode of her ubiquitous talk show, she explains in a new promotional spot.

Winfrey describes her revelation as “the miracle of all miracles,” so we’re pretty sure she’s planning something a little more exciting than giving up the secret ingredient in the Winfrey family potato-salad recipe.

Whatever familial bean Oprah spills 48 hours from now, though, we’re guessing it won’t be the last dramatic announcement made during The Oprah Winfrey Show‘s final season. To that end, we’ve cooked up five additional bombshells we’d love to see Oprah drop over the next five months.

5. “Those refrigerators I gave away on my Favorite Things episode last year? They fell off the back of a truck, if I’m not being too subtle.”

4. “Gayle is just a decoy. It’s Dr. Oz. It’s always been Dr. Oz.”

3. “I’m not gonna lie to you. I knew A Million Little Pieces was pure fiction… because I wrote it myself.”

2. “Say goodbye to Oprah’s Angel Network. I am hereby ceasing all my charitable works and funneling all my expendable income toward building my own private spaceship.”

1. “That’s right, girlfriends — God is my first cousin.”

Got any other ridiculata you’d fancy hearing Oprah share? Offer your suggestions in the comments below!

Follow Michael Slezak on Twitter: @MichaelSlezakTV