Exclusive: Scrubs Scene-Stealer Heads to Cougar Town

I don’t think I’m overselling this next story by declaring it the most exciting bit of casting news to break in the last quarter century: Sources confirm to me exclusively that Cougar Town has just procured the services of… um, me!

Although a show rep declined to confirm the rumor, I’m told that I will guest-star in one of this season’s final episodes in a role so top-secret, even I don’t know what it is. In fact, I’m pretty sure series cocreator Bill Lawrence doesn’t know what it is, which presents me (and by me, I mean you) with a golden opportunity — to come up with a role ourselves!

Who do you think I should play on Cougar Town? Keep in mind that the part will be relatively small, due to my lack of discernible acting ability, er, I mean my hectic schedule. Yep, that’s the reason. The part will be small because of my insane schedule. So think something akin to my Scrubs role of Elizabeth Banks’ baby doc, which was both pivotal and under five lines. (Remember, there are no small parts, only journalists with big egos. Wait, that’s not right.)

Take to the comments section with your ideas. I’ll present the 10 best to Lawrence and his fellow Town-ies. Should one of them get used, I’ll invite the winner to my viewing party.* Go to it!

* Winner will be responsible for all travel expenditures and must agree not to hit the hummus and pita platter too hard. Should your idea be used, it becomes the sole property of ABC Studios. You can still brag about it at cocktail parties, though.



Comments (112)

  • You’ll play a random boyfriend of Laurie’s who makes Travis jealous and finally gets those two together.

    (I can hope!)

    Comment by klutzy_girl – January 7, 2011 11:45 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Wow. Thanks for the fake damn news. Jerk.

    Comment by Andrew – January 7, 2011 11:45 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Haters gonna hate.

      Comment by Andy – January 7, 2011 12:07 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • The commentator at Bobby’s golf tournament?

    Comment by Jenny – January 7, 2011 11:45 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • …at least you spelled “SCRUBS” right this time!

    Comment by skyfan – January 7, 2011 11:45 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I think you should have the tagline that renames the show.

    Comment by Dana – January 7, 2011 11:46 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • what a misleading self involved article…..

    Comment by jeremy wein – January 7, 2011 11:46 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Again I say… haters gonna hate.

      Comment by Andy – January 7, 2011 12:07 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • You should be the cul-de-sac crew’s mail man! That way you could interact with all of them, maybe even peep your head in that awesome window over the sink and say hello! (or get a sip of wine)

    Comment by Steve – January 7, 2011 11:46 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • You should be a clerk at a wine shop. Or, even better, the owner of a glass shop specializing in Big Joe size glassware!

    Comment by Pam – January 7, 2011 11:47 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Why not play the same role and be giving Jules an ultrasound…?

    Comment by JJ – January 7, 2011 11:47 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • hmmmm you deliver bottles of wine to graysons bar and jules is eager to see whats yea got!!! Nailed it!

    Comment by eddie – January 7, 2011 11:48 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • You should play a horrible gay man who likes TV. oh wait.

    Comment by Meal – January 7, 2011 11:48 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Your name is Meal? That’s not even a name.

      Comment by Andy – January 7, 2011 12:08 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • How about Laurie’s foster brother who she made out with back in the day? Otherwise, a Hollywood type who clashes with her during the making of ‘Bug Hookers’ :)

    Comment by Frank – January 7, 2011 11:49 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I think that you should most definitely play a corpse of some kind or maybe a creepy neighborhood stalker that leers at Jules and her friends through various windows in the background!

    Comment by Mike S – January 7, 2011 11:49 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • What the hell kind of site is this? This isn’t tv news, this is you feeding your massive ego.

    Comment by David F – January 7, 2011 11:49 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • You could be a real estate agent down in Miami for a real estate convention and you are running late for a pre-convention get-together so you cut in line in front of Jules at a coffee shop/deli/etc and you and her have a few words before you win out and place your enormous order of coffee/sandwiches/etc.

    Comment by Ryan D – January 7, 2011 11:50 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Oh please. You need to be Barb’s plastic surgeon. Doesn’t she need SOMETHING important adjusted?

    Comment by char – January 7, 2011 11:51 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • A client of Jules and Laurie’s. I sometimes forget they work so it would be good to see that.

    Comment by Melissa – January 7, 2011 11:51 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Barb’s newest, much younger, very handsome, extremely fabulous boy-toy?!?

    Comment by Amanda – January 7, 2011 11:51 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • A homeless man who has a great voice. Wait, I think I actually saw that on TV before :) How about a professor at Travis’ college?

    Comment by Stacie – January 7, 2011 11:51 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Grayson’s gay college roommate visiting to try one more time.

    Comment by Hal Warning – January 7, 2011 11:52 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • You could be one of Barb’s accessories, er boy toys, er boy friends.
    OR a guy at a table at their outdoor coffee hangout who gets teased, scrutinized, becomes part of a joke, etc.
    OR you could be Mayor Winston’s, er Roger Frank’s golf partner.

    Comment by JulieL – January 7, 2011 11:52 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • You could be working at the local store and get to tell Jules you are out of her wine for the moment OR you could be Laurie’s completely normal and successful cousin that leaves the cul-de-sac crew aghast that they don’t have anything to make fun of about someone related to Laurie.

    Comment by Kelly – January 7, 2011 11:52 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I think you should be Tom’s new boyfriend.

    Comment by irg19 – January 7, 2011 11:53 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I’m going with Jules’ new hairdresser. she tries him out, but hates the result afterwards … which ensues Jules into turning being teased and laughed with by her friends. She tries to undo it, but the result turns out worse.

    So one of those hairdressers would be funny.

    Comment by Jake – January 7, 2011 11:54 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Not meaning to typecast you, but how about neighbor Tom’s boyfriend?

    Comment by Rich – January 7, 2011 11:54 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I think you should be a client of Jules’s who is looking for a house but is extremely hard to please. There could be a house right near Jules’s house that she won’t show you, but then Laurie shows it to you and you buy it. Plus that leaves you open for a future cameo….

    Comment by Julie K – January 7, 2011 11:55 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • You could be Bobby’s caddy at the pro golf tournament we all know he will make it to.

    Comment by scott – January 7, 2011 11:55 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • You should play the RA of Travis’s dorm that tries to bust him for something mediocre because u have the hots for his girlfriend!

    Comment by Beth – January 7, 2011 11:56 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I like the commentator at Bobby’s golf PGA tournament or the mail man!

    Comment by SD – January 7, 2011 11:56 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • • An awful admissions worker at Travis’ college who screws up his transcripts some how
    (which I believe being ‘awful’ is a job requirement)

    • Tom’s brother who is visiting but is admitted to the crew immediately

    • Substitute nanny for the baby we hardly see

    Comment by Elizabeth – January 7, 2011 11:57 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Andrew, Jeremy & Neal — no haters here please! We love Michael and all his juicy roles in some of our favorite shows! I like the mailman idea, but I think the best would be a sales rep for a new wine and Jules goes crazy over it, and begs Grayson to call so they can get more free samples!

    Comment by Joann – January 7, 2011 11:57 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Creepy Neighbor Tom’s creepy brother.

    Comment by BullMike23 – January 7, 2011 11:59 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I’ll say Grayson’s brother or friend… someone he hasnt had contact with in a while but cul-de-sac crew will find out about him and do what they do so well!

    Comment by Erica – January 7, 2011 11:59 AM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I think you could be a long lost son of Barb’s. Give her a scandolous past and long lost love child.

    Comment by Melodie – January 7, 2011 12:02 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • You should play a cousin of Grayson, who always embarrasses him with his Smurfies obsession.

    Comment by Felipe Lourenco – January 7, 2011 12:04 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Barb’s fabulous hairdresser, and confidant (think Ken Paves) that Jules tries out and is not pleased with the outcome and the neighborhood (and Barb) makes fun of her…

    Comment by Nic – January 7, 2011 12:06 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • You’re the creator of ….. Big Carl. You’re a glass maker Jules and Grayson find while attending an arts and crafts festival one weekend. :-) (cue Ellie and Laurie fighting over whether Jules actually likes arts and crafts … )

    Comment by Kenbud – January 7, 2011 12:07 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Ellie is seated at the bar. She and Grayson are having a heated discussion regarding some “everyman” subject. You are a delivery guy entering the bar pushing a hand truck loaded with beverages. To make her point, Ellie turns to you and asks your opinion. You are surprised at first, but then become a bit irritated at her for using you as some sort of tool for eliciting blue collar viewpoints. You then give her an extremely educated and well-spoken answer. Ellie is left slack-jawed. Grayson beams as he looks back and forth from you to Ellie. You shake your head and mumble awesome snark as you continue on your way. Done. E-Z. And I’d laugh my ass off.

    Comment by Jason – January 7, 2011 12:10 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • You could play one of Trav’s profs that gives him a bad grade and Jules goes crazy on….

    Comment by Bianca – January 7, 2011 12:12 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • You should be a prospective home buyer that’s over the top…Or Greyson’s brother he didn’t know he had but ends up not being a mistake..

    Comment by Mari – January 7, 2011 12:15 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Andy dreams of Stan all grown up, successful and well coiffed.

    Comment by Adam – January 7, 2011 12:16 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
    • Excellent idea…

      Comment by Mari – January 7, 2011 12:19 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Sorry make that “ends up being a mistake”

    Comment by Mari – January 7, 2011 12:17 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • disappointing

    Comment by iva – January 7, 2011 12:22 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • Here are a few ideas

    * Sports journalist who dislikes Bobby for some reason

    * Barbs brother who is just like her(gay/straight doesnt matter)

    * Some kind of waiter for Ellie/Laurie to mess with

    * Jules/Ellie/Laurie Gynecologist. Possibly one of them finding out that they were pregnent.

    Comment by Mac – January 7, 2011 12:23 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • A rival from Grayson’s pageant days???

    Comment by Chris – January 7, 2011 12:26 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I actually love the idea someone else mentioned of you playing Tom’s brother in for a visit and immediately accepted by the cul-de-sac crew. But, I also think it would be great if you played the guy who steals annoying Kirsten away from Travis so she will leave the show forever!

    Comment by Brandi – January 7, 2011 12:26 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • I say stick to what you know and be Jules’ baby doc (but she won’t turn up PG).

    Comment by kurlytop – January 7, 2011 12:26 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • You should be finger-gun guy! Jules will see you doing finger-guns at various businesses throughout the episode, and keep telling the crew that she saw a guy who does them, and no one will believe her and no one else ever sees you. At the end Grayson does finger-guns to make Jules feel better.

    Comment by Amy – January 7, 2011 12:35 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • an old friend of laurie from canada who she marries and has to pretend she loves him when a government agent visits. he’s an interior designer who becomes besties with jules and redecorates her house to be more wine friendly and ellie hates him for stealing jules

    Comment by noo – January 7, 2011 12:39 PM PDT  Reply To This Post
  • You are Grayson’s brother, who he disowned after you put the moves on his best friend in high school (we find out during the episode that you were actually successful and had a secret relationship with the best friend for an extended period of time). You come to town to mend fences with your brother, but the family reunion is cut short when Grayson finds out that you put the moves on Bobby (Bobby was flattered by the attention, but politely turned you down).

    I also like Frank’s idea that you are Laurie’s foster brother whom she made out with back-in-the-day. That experience helped you realize that you are gay.

    Comment by Richard – January 7, 2011 12:41 PM PDT  Reply To This Post

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