Exclusive: Scrubs Scene-Stealer Heads to Cougar Town

I don’t think I’m overselling this next story by declaring it the most exciting bit of casting news to break in the last quarter century: Sources confirm to me exclusively that Cougar Town has just procured the services of… um, me!

Although a show rep declined to confirm the rumor, I’m told that I will guest-star in one of this season’s final episodes in a role so top-secret, even I don’t know what it is. In fact, I’m pretty sure series cocreator Bill Lawrence doesn’t know what it is, which presents me (and by me, I mean you) with a golden opportunity — to come up with a role ourselves!

Who do you think I should play on Cougar Town? Keep in mind that the part will be relatively small, due to my lack of discernible acting ability, er, I mean my hectic schedule. Yep, that’s the reason. The part will be small because of my insane schedule. So think something akin to my Scrubs role of Elizabeth Banks’ baby doc, which was both pivotal and under five lines. (Remember, there are no small parts, only journalists with big egos. Wait, that’s not right.)

Take to the comments section with your ideas. I’ll present the 10 best to Lawrence and his fellow Town-ies. Should one of them get used, I’ll invite the winner to my viewing party.* Go to it!

* Winner will be responsible for all travel expenditures and must agree not to hit the hummus and pita platter too hard. Should your idea be used, it becomes the sole property of ABC Studios. You can still brag about it at cocktail parties, though.

Comments are monitored, so don’t go off topic, don’t frakkin’ curse and don’t bore us with how much your coworker’s sister-in-law makes per hour. Talk smart about TV!

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  1. klutzy_girl says:

    You’ll play a random boyfriend of Laurie’s who makes Travis jealous and finally gets those two together.

    (I can hope!)

  2. Andrew says:

    Wow. Thanks for the fake damn news. Jerk.

  3. Jenny says:

    The commentator at Bobby’s golf tournament?

  4. skyfan says:

    …at least you spelled “SCRUBS” right this time!

  5. Dana says:

    I think you should have the tagline that renames the show.

  6. jeremy wein says:

    what a misleading self involved article…..

  7. Steve says:

    You should be the cul-de-sac crew’s mail man! That way you could interact with all of them, maybe even peep your head in that awesome window over the sink and say hello! (or get a sip of wine)

  8. Pam says:

    You should be a clerk at a wine shop. Or, even better, the owner of a glass shop specializing in Big Joe size glassware!

  9. JJ says:

    Why not play the same role and be giving Jules an ultrasound…?

  10. eddie says:

    hmmmm you deliver bottles of wine to graysons bar and jules is eager to see whats yea got!!! Nailed it!

  11. Meal says:

    You should play a horrible gay man who likes TV. oh wait.

  12. Frank says:

    How about Laurie’s foster brother who she made out with back in the day? Otherwise, a Hollywood type who clashes with her during the making of ‘Bug Hookers’ :)

  13. Mike S says:

    I think that you should most definitely play a corpse of some kind or maybe a creepy neighborhood stalker that leers at Jules and her friends through various windows in the background!

  14. David F says:

    What the hell kind of site is this? This isn’t tv news, this is you feeding your massive ego.

  15. Ryan D says:

    You could be a real estate agent down in Miami for a real estate convention and you are running late for a pre-convention get-together so you cut in line in front of Jules at a coffee shop/deli/etc and you and her have a few words before you win out and place your enormous order of coffee/sandwiches/etc.

  16. char says:

    Oh please. You need to be Barb’s plastic surgeon. Doesn’t she need SOMETHING important adjusted?

  17. Melissa says:

    A client of Jules and Laurie’s. I sometimes forget they work so it would be good to see that.

  18. Amanda says:

    Barb’s newest, much younger, very handsome, extremely fabulous boy-toy?!?

  19. Stacie says:

    A homeless man who has a great voice. Wait, I think I actually saw that on TV before :) How about a professor at Travis’ college?

  20. Hal Warning says:

    Grayson’s gay college roommate visiting to try one more time.

  21. JulieL says:

    You could be one of Barb’s accessories, er boy toys, er boy friends.
    OR a guy at a table at their outdoor coffee hangout who gets teased, scrutinized, becomes part of a joke, etc.
    OR you could be Mayor Winston’s, er Roger Frank’s golf partner.

  22. Kelly says:

    You could be working at the local store and get to tell Jules you are out of her wine for the moment OR you could be Laurie’s completely normal and successful cousin that leaves the cul-de-sac crew aghast that they don’t have anything to make fun of about someone related to Laurie.

  23. irg19 says:

    I think you should be Tom’s new boyfriend.

  24. Jake says:

    I’m going with Jules’ new hairdresser. she tries him out, but hates the result afterwards … which ensues Jules into turning being teased and laughed with by her friends. She tries to undo it, but the result turns out worse.

    So one of those hairdressers would be funny.

  25. Rich says:

    Not meaning to typecast you, but how about neighbor Tom’s boyfriend?

  26. Julie K says:

    I think you should be a client of Jules’s who is looking for a house but is extremely hard to please. There could be a house right near Jules’s house that she won’t show you, but then Laurie shows it to you and you buy it. Plus that leaves you open for a future cameo….

  27. scott says:

    You could be Bobby’s caddy at the pro golf tournament we all know he will make it to.

  28. Beth says:

    You should play the RA of Travis’s dorm that tries to bust him for something mediocre because u have the hots for his girlfriend!

  29. SD says:

    I like the commentator at Bobby’s golf PGA tournament or the mail man!

  30. Elizabeth says:

    • An awful admissions worker at Travis’ college who screws up his transcripts some how
    (which I believe being ‘awful’ is a job requirement)

    • Tom’s brother who is visiting but is admitted to the crew immediately

    • Substitute nanny for the baby we hardly see

  31. Joann says:

    Andrew, Jeremy & Neal — no haters here please! We love Michael and all his juicy roles in some of our favorite shows! I like the mailman idea, but I think the best would be a sales rep for a new wine and Jules goes crazy over it, and begs Grayson to call so they can get more free samples!

  32. BullMike23 says:

    Creepy Neighbor Tom’s creepy brother.

  33. Erica says:

    I’ll say Grayson’s brother or friend… someone he hasnt had contact with in a while but cul-de-sac crew will find out about him and do what they do so well!

  34. Melodie says:

    I think you could be a long lost son of Barb’s. Give her a scandolous past and long lost love child.

  35. Felipe Lourenco says:

    You should play a cousin of Grayson, who always embarrasses him with his Smurfies obsession.

  36. Nic says:

    Barb’s fabulous hairdresser, and confidant (think Ken Paves) that Jules tries out and is not pleased with the outcome and the neighborhood (and Barb) makes fun of her…

  37. Kenbud says:

    You’re the creator of ….. Big Carl. You’re a glass maker Jules and Grayson find while attending an arts and crafts festival one weekend. :-) (cue Ellie and Laurie fighting over whether Jules actually likes arts and crafts … )

  38. Jason says:

    Ellie is seated at the bar. She and Grayson are having a heated discussion regarding some “everyman” subject. You are a delivery guy entering the bar pushing a hand truck loaded with beverages. To make her point, Ellie turns to you and asks your opinion. You are surprised at first, but then become a bit irritated at her for using you as some sort of tool for eliciting blue collar viewpoints. You then give her an extremely educated and well-spoken answer. Ellie is left slack-jawed. Grayson beams as he looks back and forth from you to Ellie. You shake your head and mumble awesome snark as you continue on your way. Done. E-Z. And I’d laugh my ass off.

  39. Bianca says:

    You could play one of Trav’s profs that gives him a bad grade and Jules goes crazy on….

  40. Mari says:

    You should be a prospective home buyer that’s over the top…Or Greyson’s brother he didn’t know he had but ends up not being a mistake..

  41. Adam says:

    Andy dreams of Stan all grown up, successful and well coiffed.

  42. Mari says:

    Sorry make that “ends up being a mistake”

  43. iva says:


  44. Mac says:

    Here are a few ideas

    * Sports journalist who dislikes Bobby for some reason

    * Barbs brother who is just like her(gay/straight doesnt matter)

    * Some kind of waiter for Ellie/Laurie to mess with

    * Jules/Ellie/Laurie Gynecologist. Possibly one of them finding out that they were pregnent.

  45. Chris says:

    A rival from Grayson’s pageant days???

  46. Brandi says:

    I actually love the idea someone else mentioned of you playing Tom’s brother in for a visit and immediately accepted by the cul-de-sac crew. But, I also think it would be great if you played the guy who steals annoying Kirsten away from Travis so she will leave the show forever!

  47. kurlytop says:

    I say stick to what you know and be Jules’ baby doc (but she won’t turn up PG).

  48. Amy says:

    You should be finger-gun guy! Jules will see you doing finger-guns at various businesses throughout the episode, and keep telling the crew that she saw a guy who does them, and no one will believe her and no one else ever sees you. At the end Grayson does finger-guns to make Jules feel better.

  49. noo says:

    an old friend of laurie from canada who she marries and has to pretend she loves him when a government agent visits. he’s an interior designer who becomes besties with jules and redecorates her house to be more wine friendly and ellie hates him for stealing jules

  50. Richard says:

    You are Grayson’s brother, who he disowned after you put the moves on his best friend in high school (we find out during the episode that you were actually successful and had a secret relationship with the best friend for an extended period of time). You come to town to mend fences with your brother, but the family reunion is cut short when Grayson finds out that you put the moves on Bobby (Bobby was flattered by the attention, but politely turned you down).

    I also like Frank’s idea that you are Laurie’s foster brother whom she made out with back-in-the-day. That experience helped you realize that you are gay.